Romance A Feel For The Ice

"Calm down, Anna," Kevin said with a chuckle. "I ask because it's very obvious how much you two care about each other. I'd hate for one little fight to come between you. Especially if it was about me." That last he added with an impish smile that Anna couldn't help responding to.

"It wasn't about you," she muttered. "Well, not exactly. Hayden was just acting like a... jerk and I said some things..." she let her voice trail off, shaking her head. She remembered what she'd said and the look on his face.

The guilt that had been gnawing at her all day surged again and she thought about the fact that she'd overlooked him when it came to planning the holiday. She'd only assumed he'd have his own plans already, since he'd spent all his previous Christmas holidays away from his family in Sweden. Still, the guilt inside her told her she could have handled their argument better. After he'd accused her of being more than friends with Kevin, she hadn't really been thinking straight, and it was only later, after she'd calmed down that she'd realized her mistake.

"Anna, like I said, don't let one fight ruin things," he told her and shrugged his jacket on. "I know how much time he spends here and I've seen the way you look at each other."

Anna blushed and held a palm to her cheek. "The way we look...?" she echoed.

"Yes," Kevin said with a firm nod. "As though there's no one else in the room." He grinned and nudged her arm with his elbow. "As though you can't wait to tear each other's clothes off."

"K-Kevin!" she sputtered and smacked his arm with an open palm.

He laughed and drew her close for a hug after she'd dragged her heavy winter coat on. "Don't be embarrassed, Anna," he told her. "I already told you before and I meant it; I'm glad you've found someone who makes you so happy."

"Thanks, Kevin," she murmured and reached for the door handle, letting cold air wash over them as she pulled the door open.

"No problem," he replied and glanced sideways at her as he stepped out, dropping his arm from her shoulder to reach down for her bag. "So maybe you should cut Hayden a little slack, huh? Give him a chance to apologize, even if it means you're the one to call him."

Anna sighed and turned to draw the door shut, her key in hand. "I will," she agreed and meant it. She straightened after locking the door and turned to see Kevin staring out at the street. "What?" she asked, following his gaze and sucking in a sharp breath when she saw Hayden leaning back against his car where it was parked on the street.

"Uh... I'll let you two talk," Kevin murmured out of the corner of his mouth.

Anna glanced up at him and smiled weakly before he walked down the step and across their yards to his front door. He waved at Hayden before disappearing inside and Hayden waved back before pushing himself up from his car. Anna watched Hayden approach and fiddled with the keys in her hands, ordering herself to breathe; just breathe.

"Hi," Hayden whispered to her as he stopped at the bottom of the steps.

"Hi," she replied.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked.

Anna nodded and turned to unlock her front door again. She wasn't sure if letting him into her now empty house was such a good idea but it sure beat standing outside in the frigid winter air. Hayden followed her in and neither of them spoke as they removed their coats and moved into the living room. Anna bent over to turn on a lamp and glanced at Hayden before sitting down on the couch. He sat down beside her, giving her some space but not enough that she couldn't feel the warmth from his body rolling towards her.

"Anna, I'm sorry," he said, getting right to it.

He sounded like he meant it but Anna drew in a deep, fortifying breath. He was going to have to do better. "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry that I assumed you and Kevin were... you know," he hesitated over his words and Anna smiled, turning her face away so he couldn't see it.

Damn him, she thought and forced the breath out of her lungs. Damn him for making me feel this way. She couldn't seem to help herself around him. A dozen or so words and she was more than ready to crawl into his lap and rub against him like a cat.

"It was stupid and you were right, I never should have assumed you'd do that," Hayden was still speaking, elaborating on his apology. Anna turned back to face him, looking into his soft brown eyes as he spoke. She noticed that his accent was more distinctive and that made her want to smile again. "You said that if I knew you, I'd know you'd never do that," he went on. "You were right about that too, but not about knowing you. I do know you, more than a little bit and I want to keep getting to know more about you."

"Really?" she asked, feeling shy and hot all over.

"Yes," he breathed and moved closer, lifting one of her hands from her lap. He brought it to his lips, his eyelashes dropping as he gazed at her fingers. "I don't ever want to stop knowing you, Anna."

"What about Kevin?" she asked, willing her body to not react as his lips and bristly beard brushed over her knuckles. Too late, she thought, feeling a shudder grip her body at the contact.

Hayden's head jerked up at her question though and he stared at her. "What about Kevin?"

"Yeah," she replied, pulling her hand from his. "I can't be with you knowing that every time I mention Kevin you're going to get upset. And I'm not going to stop making plans with him, for holidays or any other time of year."

"I don't expect you to," Hayden said.

"Good, because Kevin is a very big part of my life," Anna went on, watching his face to gauge his reaction. Her heart was beating hard within her chest and she still wanted to kiss him but she needed to get everything out before she lost all rational thought. "He's my best friend and he's been there for me when no one else was. Our kids are friends and that's something that's never going to change."

"I know," Hayden agreed with a nod, his wide lips curling up in a smile.

Anna's heart skipped a beat before slamming hard into her ribs again. She swallowed, watching as Hayden moved even closer on the couch. "Do you? Do you understand that I'm not going to stop being Kevin's friend?"

"I understand and I want you to know that I think it's great," Hayden said.

Anna looked back and forth between his soft brown eyes, looking for any sign of tension or any sign that he was lying. All she saw was chocolate warmth and it made her blood sing.

"Hayden, I..." she started to speak but Hayden stopped her with a finger against her lips.

"Anna, you don't have to explain anything to me," he told her. "I was the jerk and I am the one begging for your forgiveness here. I'd be lucky if you still wanted me around, not Kevin. He's earned your love and trust and I'm still working on it."

At the word 'love,' Anna felt her stomach clench. She remained silent, listening as Hayden continued to speak.

"I can only hope that one day you and I are the one making plans in the kitchen while Kevin stops by for a cup of coffee," Hayden said and grinned. "I know that sounds silly but I mean it. I know that Kevin will always be in your life, and his kids, and I think it's great. I really do."

"Can you... can we... stop... talking about Kevin?" Anna whispered, wanting so much to hear his sweet voice speak of love to her again.

"Definitely," Hayden replied, his voice dropping an octave. It sent a shiver coursing through Anna and she knew she'd already forgiven him, even if she hadn't said the words. Hayden moved closer still and put his arms around her. She leaned back, blinking up at his handsome face and falling in love with him right then and there.

"Anna, I'm so sorry for how I acted and for making you feel anything less than beautiful and loved," he whispered, his lips so close to her face that she felt the tickle of his beard on her cheek.

"I forgive you," she whispered, her eyes dropping to his soft lips.

"I'm so glad," he replied and kissed her. It was a gentle kiss, slow and warming Anna right down to her toes.

She pressed her hands to his shoulders after a moment and gently pushed him away. Her apology needed to be said before they went any further. "I'm sorry, Hayden. I shouldn't have excluded you from my holiday plans."

He looked for a moment like he was going to say something but Anna stopped him laying her fingers over his lips. "I've never had a man in my life like you and I didn't really think about how we would spend time together over the holidays. It was terribly selfish of me and I shouldn't have said those things to you yesterday." She smiled and leaned close to him, warming even more under his intense gaze. "You shouldn't have said those things either, though!"

With a grin, he squeezed her sides, tickling her and she gasped with laughter, struggling to push him away. He relented and kissed her cheek and the corner of her mouth before letting her speak again.

"I am sorry, Hayden," she murmured when he pulled back. "I guess I didn't want to assume that you'd spend Christmas with me and Riley. I didn't... I didn't want to hope for too much."

Hayden's gaze softened and he brushed her hair back from her forehead. "I can't imagine being anywhere else, Anna. If I have to spend the rest of our lives proving it, I will."

"So you forgive me?"

"You never needed my forgiveness."

She shook her head and swatted him lightly on the arm. "Just tell me that I'm forgiven."

Chuckling, he moved his head closer and exhaled warmly against the skin of her throat. "You're forgiven." Then he kissed her, his lips moving over hers and stealing her breath away.

Bracing her hands against his chest, she pulled back, lifting her eyes to his. "Tell me that I'm loved," she whispered, her face flaming. She couldn't take the words back now though, even if she wanted to.

Hayden's grin warmed her all over again, but in a different way. She squirmed in his arms, shifting closer until she felt the hard muscles of his thighs beneath hers. He held her close, moving back and cradling her in his arms as she lifted herself against his chest.

"Hayden," she murmured, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Please, tell me." She never thought she'd beg for any man to say he loved her but she wasn't the same woman anymore. She'd changed the moment Hayden had come into her life.

"Anna," he whispered, lifting his hands to cup her face. He tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her away from his mouth so he could look into her eyes. "Anna, you are my heart. I love you more than you can ever know."

Anna felt her eyes sting and she choked back a sob. Hayden's eyes softened and he pulled her close, wrapping his strong arms around her. He held her close as she cried into his shoulder, clinging to him like he was her last anchor on earth.

"Anna, love," he murmured, his lips moving against her hair. His hands were stroking her back in a slow, seductive rhythm, slowing Anna's tears until they stopped. "Anna..."

Anna pulled back and kissed him, skipping the gentleness he'd shown her a minute before. She moaned and slid her tongue against his lips, delving inside when he opened his mouth under hers. His arms stopped their slow caress on her back and he clutched her, his hands fisting in her sweater and pulling it taut across her chest. Her hands roamed over his shoulders and chest before settling at the back of his head, sliding through his silky hair.

"Anna," he murmured, easing out of the kiss and Anna sat back, breathing hard.

"What?" she asked, staring at him in a daze.

"Where's your gift?" he asked. "The one I brought for you."

Blinking, Anna looked around and glanced under the tree. "Oh, it's probably next door. I packed all the gifts up to take over there. Why?"

"I was just going to tell you to open it now," he said with a smile, brushing her hair back over her shoulder and pressing his lips to her exposed neck. "It doesn't matter though."

"Oh, wait!" she exclaimed and scrambled off his lap. "I might still have it," she called over her shoulder as she hurried into the kitchen. Sure enough, pushed out of the way on one side of the kitchen counter were the two wrapped gifts that Hayden had brought over the day before. Scooping them up, she went back into the living room where Hayden was still sitting on the couch, one arm slung across the back.

"You do still have them," Hayden said with a grin, sitting forward and taking them from her hands. "Good. I want you to open yours." He set Riley's gift on the table beside him and handed the other one back to her.

Anna sat down beside him as she took it and pulled the ribbon free. She peeled the shiny paper back slowly, grinning when Hayden made an impatient noise. "I shouldn't even be doing this right now," she chided. "It's not Christmas and there's no one else-"

Leaning forward, Hayden silenced her with a kiss. She leaned into him, sighing when his tongue teased her lips open and retreated before she could respond in kind. She scowled playfully at him but resumed with unwrapping her present. Inside the paper was a long, dark velvet jeweler's box. Her breath caught and her fingers froze.

"It's all right, Anna," Hayden whispered, reaching over to cup her cheek in his palm. "I wanted to get you something as beautiful as you are and when I couldn't find anything, this was the next best thing."

Anna's cheeks flooded with warmth at his words and more tears stung the back of her throat. Swallowing, she pressed her thumbs to the split in the box and opened it. The sparkle was muted in the dim light of the living room but Anna knew right away that he'd bought her diamonds.

"Hayden..." she breathed, her fingers trembling as she lifted one hand to touch the elegant necklace. It was a long, delicate white gold chain and at the bottom a pendant the size of her fingernail glittered with a cluster of diamonds. The shape was a teardrop and each diamond was tiny, all their combined strength making the entire piece sparkle like nothing she'd ever seen before.

"Do you like it?" he asked, sounding nervous.

Anna had never heard him sound nervous before and lifted her face to his. He was smiling and the corners of his eyes were wrinkled as he looked back at her but she could see the apprehension in his expression.

"You shouldn't have done this," she murmured. "It's too much."

"Nothing is ever enough," he replied and shook his head. "I want to give you so much more."

"You do," she told him and moved forward until she was resting against him, his arms warm and strong around her. "I love you, Hayden."

She heard his heart beating hard under her cheek and smiled when she felt him suck in a breath.

"Anna, you have no idea how happy you've just made me," he told her, his accent very thick as he spoke now.

Grinning, Anna carefully extricated the necklace from the box and held it up before them.

"So you like it?" Hayden asked.

"I love it," she replied and meant it. No one else in her life had ever given her something so beautiful. Even her engagement ring from her marriage had been a Walmart special. At the time, she hadn't cared; she'd been too happy to have something to proclaim to the world that she was getting married. Even now, she didn't care that Hayden had spent money on diamonds for her, or that this might be the most expensive thing she'd ever owned. All she cared about was the fact that he'd thought of her and spent time picking something out.

"Thank God," he breathed and she laughed, glancing up at his face. "You have no idea how long it took me to decide on what to get you."

"Really? How long?"

"Weeks!" he confessed and laughed. "I even thought this would be too cliched a gift but Nathan told me it was a good idea."

"It's lovely, Hayden," Anna assured him and placed a palm on his chest so she could lift herself up to his face. "You didn't need to get me anything, you know."

"I know," he replied and kissed her. "But I wanted to."

"I feel bad though," she said and lowered her lashes, still playing with the light in the diamonds. "I didn't get you anything."

"Anna, you being here, forgiving me and telling me you love me is more than I could have asked for," Hayden said.

"Hmm," she pondered and sat up away from him. "I think I can do better than that."

He chuckled and watched her with hooded eyes as she rose from the couch. "What can you possibly do to make this night better?"

Anna grinned at him and lifted the necklace to her throat, fastening the clasp. She glanced down and frowned. "Doesn't look right, does it?"

"It looks perfect," Hayden assured her, sitting up.

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "Something's not right. This sweater clashes with it."

"Anna, don't be silly," Hayden laughed. "Diamonds look good with-" he stopped short as Anna grasped the bottom of her sweater, yanking it over her head. "-Everything," he concluded breathlessly.

Grinning again, Anna looked at him and giggled when she saw his eyes go wide. Seeing his reaction to her body never got old. Every time she undressed for him, she felt like a goddess. "How about now?" she asked, waving her hand at the hanging pendant.

"Looks great," Hayden replied, his voice sounding strained.

Smothering another laugh, Anna shook her head. "No!" she exclaimed and turned around. "It's still not right. I don't like how it looks with these pants." She undid her pants and pushed them over her hips, bending at the waist and peeking over her shoulder at Hayden as she moved. Without hurrying, she straightened and twisted partially around to look at him. "What do you think?"

"Anna," he growled, standing up from the couch. "You're-"

"I know, it still doesn't look right!" she said as she straightened and lifted her arms to undo the clasp at the back of her bra. She struggled with it for a moment, snapping one side down on her back before she felt Hayden's warm touch on her skin. Shivering, she dropped her hands and let him undo the clasp for her.

Sliding his warm palms over her skin, he pushed the straps of her bra down her arms. After discarding it on the floor, he brought his hands back up her body, pressing them up her stomach until he was cupping her breasts. Leaning back, Anna closed her eyes, sighing as his hands caressed her.

"You're right," Hayden murmured close to her ear, his fingers finding and squeezing her hardening nipples. "That necklace looks much better with no clothes on."

"You mean, without my clothes on or yours?" Anna asked, running her hands up the outsides of his thighs.

"Hmm," Hayden considered, his lips teasing the outer edge of her ear. "I guess we'll just have to try both ways and see."

Anna giggled and then sighed as his lips closed on her ear lobe, sucking it. "But I'm not naked," she whispered.

"Not yet," Hayden growled and swept her into his arms.

Laughing, Anna threw her arms around his neck and kissed him as he carried her upstairs to her bedroom. He placed her in the middle of her bed and moved down her body, grasping the elastic waist of her panties and pulling them off. He trailed kisses behind them, exhaling warmly against her skin.

When he moved up to kiss her on the mouth, his hands sliding between her legs and parting her thighs, Anna stopped him with a giggle. "No," she protested and sucked in a breath as he cupped her slick heat. "You have to get naked, too."

Hayden sat back and raised an eyebrow at her. She gave him a look in return and he sighed, pulling his shirt off and shucking out of his pants so quickly, Anna had to laugh. She wrapped her arms around him when he settled over her and groaned into his mouth when his hand slid up her thigh to cup her again. She let her legs fall open, shivering as he stroked her and drew his knee up against her leg.

Their kissing intensified, his tongue ruthless inside her mouth and Anna tangled her tongue around his. She lifted her hips with a moan as he slid two fingers inside of her, stroking her very close to the edge. Then he moved, pulling his fingers away and pressing his hands on the insides of her knees.

"Anna," he murmured, lifting his head and staring into her eyes as he spoke. "Tell me I am loved."

Her heart lifted at his words, a repetition of her own and smiled. "You're loved," she assured him. "And you always will be."

With a groan, he sank inside of her. She gasped as he drove himself all the way in with one move. Their hips met in a satisfied thump and she arched off the bed, pressing her breasts to his chest. His hands slid around and up her legs until he was cupping her bottom, lifting her body to meet his next thrust, and the next.

It wasn't long before both their movements grew frantic and unsteady. Hayden left one of his hands on her butt and moved so he was resting his weight on his other arm beside her. Anna clung to him, breathing hard and sliding her tongue between his lips as he moved over her.

"Hayden," she gasped his name, hardly aware she was speaking. "Oh, please, Hayden!" she cried and came in the next instant. Hayden rushed after her, groaning and pumping hard into her for a long moment.

After a while, they rested together, sweaty and elated. Hayden's arms kept Anna resting close to his body and she sighed with her face pressed against his chest. Hayden lightly ran his fingers up and down her side, drawing goosebumps to the surface of her skin with each stroke. He stopped as he reached her throat, brushing his knuckles against the diamond pendant that dangled from her neck.

"You're right," he murmured, his lips moving against her forehead.

"About what?"

"This looks better when you're wearing nothing at all," he told her and Anna laughed, raising herself up to kiss him.

That set off a reaction in his body and before they knew it, they were slick and hot and moving together again.

They snuck into Kevin's house sometime before dawn on Christmas morning and did their best not to disturb anyone. Kevin had taped a note to the front door that urged them to take the guest room at the end of the hallway.

"How did he know we'd come over?" Hayden asked as they crept hand-in-hand through the silent house.

"Kevin's good that way," Anna replied with a smile, making a mental note to thank her friend in the morning. After making love for most of the night, Anna had told Hayden she wanted to be in Kevin's house when Riley woke up. When Hayden offered to go home, she'd shaken her head and said they weren't going to sneak around.

They found the guest room bed made up for them and fell into each other's arms, too exhausted to do more than cuddle. Morning came far too early, but they rose with the children and gratefully sipped coffee with Kevin, who smiled knowingly at them.

Hayden was very surprised when Riley handed him a gift around midmorning. The tag read, 'From Anna and Riley.'

"I thought you said you didn't get me anything?" he said with a smile for Anna, as Riley hopped impatiently from foot to foot in front of him.

She grinned at him through the steam rising from her coffee mug. He watched the blush color her cheeks and looked away when heat rose in his own face. Their smiles matched as they recalled her words about gifts the previous night. Plenty of time to relive the moment later.

"Open it!" Riley ordered and Hayden obeyed, grinning when he saw the blue and yellow scarf inside. "I picked it out," Riley exclaimed, beaming as Hayden immediately wrapped the gift around his neck.

"I love it," Hayden assured him with a hug.

Later, they all gathered around Anna's big dining room table and 'oohed' and 'aahed' over the fantastic Christmas feast.

As she looked down the table at the many faces gathered, Anna realized she'd gotten her wish. Except it wasn't one family; it was two. It wasn't a husband, but a dear lover, as well as a close friend. It wasn't a stereotypical family but it was hers and she felt a lump in her throat when she thought of how lucky she was.

"Mo-om!" Riley's voice broke into her thoughts. "Hayden wants the stuffing!"

Laughing, Anna picked up the dish and handed it to Hayden, blushing when he winked at her.

It may not have always felt like it, but life had been good to her.
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