Drama Being Beth

"Ah... ah... mm... up a little p-ah! Please!" Jamie instructed me and I obeyed by moving my tongue upwards, my hands gripping her thighs. The smell of her pussy filled my nose and the warm wetness covered my face. I tried to find her clit which I by now knew intimately how to find with my fingers but with my tongue I felt a little lost.

"You're... doing... great hun. Oooooh! Right there right there!" she squirmed under me. I tried to keep a steady pace. It felt different to what I'd imagined and very different to giving a blowjob. My lips were buried on top of the folds of her vagina and I ran my hands up over her tummy and cupped one of breasts. Jamie's body tensed and I felt her hands on the back of my head, keeping me in place.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" she squealed and suddenly I felt her pussy pulse and her body froze. "Ooooh fuuuuuuck!" she screamed as she came and I kept going until her hands gently pushed me away and she instinctively pulled her legs closed. I was out of breath, my heart pounding as I rose to my knees and looked at her. She lied on her back, eyes closed, breathing heavily and not for the first time I wondered at how much my life had changed in such little time.

"That was amazing, hun." She finally said before getting up and sitting in front of me and smiling. "My turn." Gently, slowly, she guided me down on my back, pried my legs apart and dove down between them and I closed my eyes and drifted off into bliss.

Several minutes later as we lay in bed next to each other, she spoke up for the first time since I came.

"Ask you something, hun?"

"What?"

"How come you weren't willing to do this first time on camera?"

"I... was that stupid?"

"No no, of course not! I just... well, you were so gung-ho with Trevor and Hank I just... why not this?" I blushed and avoided her eyes.

"I just... I didn't want to disappoint you."

"Oh hun... you didn't need to worry about that -- I was just surprised when you asked. You were so brave about everything else." I kept quiet for a really long time.

"I guess..." I finally said. "it just feels... differently with you. It feels... more important. More real." Jamie stared at me in silence for a moment, then leaned in and kissed me. She still tasted of me and I knew I tasted of her. We often kissed when making videos, but this time she lingered longer than usual. Finally she withdrew.

"I love you." she said.

My heart stopped.

Jamie's words hung in the air like a challenge. Her eyes were soft, vulnerable. The moment moved on and I said nothing. Suddenly Jamie sat up and started gathering her clothes.

"Sorry, stupid. Stupid. Shouldn't have said that."

"Jamie-" I started.

"It's fine, don't worry."

"But-"

"You're not gay you said so yourself; you told me and I still... doesn't matter it's fine."

"J-"

"I'm really sorry, I really shouldn't have said-"

"Will you shut the hell up, J?" she stopped mid-motion; she'd pulled her jeans up and put her bra back on and looked at me. I could see in her eyes how she was struggling to keep it together and I wished I was dressed, too. Or at least a little dressed, like her. I sat up, Jamie's bedsheets wrapped around me and hugged my knees.

"Where I'm from people aren't gay." I said. "My folks they're... they're good people and they taught me to respect everyone, no matter who they are or how different they may be. But actually being gay, that's... that just wasn't on my radar growing up." I kept staring out into nothing. "I don't know what it means. I don't... I don't know if I am or not." I forced myself to look at her and took a deep breath, gathering courage:

"But I love you, too, Jamie." Jamie stood there, frozen, her fly undone. I kept hugging my knees, resisting the urge to hide under the bed sheets. Finally she zipped up her jeans and climbed back onto the bed. She leaned in for another kiss; our lips locked and our tongues met again. It was, in many ways, our first kiss, I felt. Her hand went around my neck and she caressed me. I could still smell my pussy on her breath.

"Will you spend the night with me?" she asked.

"I'd love to." I answered. I leaned back and she followed. She undid her jeans again and we fucked like two souls possessed.

Later, after we'd both showered and gotten dressed again, Jamie poured some wine and we sat down for a talk. I felt like I was in a new world; a new reality. Being in Jamie's apartment felt electric and exciting, like I hadn't been in it dozens of time.

Sharing a bed felt the same way, even though we'd done things in that bed before that made what we did that night look tame. Everything was different now.

"So... I guess I need to check something with you." Jamie started a little awkwardly.

"I... told you I'm poly. Did you... I don't know, understand what that meant?"

"I... guess probably not?" I admitted, a little embarrassed; "I guess I kind of assumed it was the sort of thing guys said when they wanted to sleep around." Jamie grinned, to my relief and I relaxed a little.

"No, that's not what it is. Or, well, some guys do do that, but most poly guys I've met and have been very sincere and caring. They just aren't the sort of people who stop falling in love just because they're already in love with someone else."

"And that's... how you feel?" I asked.

"Yeah, it is."

"Soo... does that mean you're... already seeing someone?" I asked very nervously, but Jamie shook her head.

"No. I haven't really been in a relationship for maybe a year."

"But you've been in more than one relationship at once?"

"Yep. In college I had a boyfriend and a girlfriend."

"Did they know?"

"Of course." Jamie looked at me sincerely. "Beth, that's the whole point, that's why I'm bringing it up: I'm poly but that doesn't make me dishonest: I'll never hide my feelings for someone else to you. Ever. That's not how it works -- if it did that would just be cheating." I nodded, quietly.

"And, you know... if you had feelings for someone... like Trevor..." her voice trailed off and I blushed, suddenly feeling guilty. "Then that would be okay" she continued. "as long as you tell me about it. And as long as everyone knows what's going on."

"And the... you know, our business?"

"Well... like I told you, I'm pretty chill about sex with my friends. That's not the same, at least it isn't to me. I don't want to, you know..." she lost her words for a moment. "I don't want to just be fucking. I want to be your girlfriend."

Girlfriend. My girlfriend. I have a girlfriend.

I leaned in and kissed her.

"I think this is a talk we need to keep having but for right now can we leave it there?"

"Leave it where?" Jamie asked.

"With you being my girlfriend and me being yours?" Jamie smiled kissed me back.

"Sounds good to me, Beth." I kissed her again. And again. Our lips parted and minutes later we were tearing our clothes off again and for the third time in my life, and in one day, I went down on another woman.

But not just any woman: My girlfriend.​