Incest/Taboo Bring on the Wonder

Their time in Atlanta was like a dream. Nate couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so content. They were able to walk hand-in-hand, kiss and flirt with each other in public and never once worry about being spotted.

They arrived on a Monday and originally planned to stay until Thursday. After being there only one day, they decided they wanted to stay later. Since Lizzie's publisher had paid for her portion of the trip, she had to make a call and arrange to stay through the weekend. Then they picked a somewhat nicer hotel and indulged in room service a couple of times. In between the romance and solitude, they checked out neighborhoods and some of the surrounding communities.

"I like this area," Lizzie commented as they cruised in their rented vehicle down a street lined with enormous trees.

"Me too."

It was an older neighborhood with medium to larger sized homes. The lot sizes were generous with a lot more mature foliage than some of the other places they'd visited.

"You don't think the houses might be too large for just the two of us?"

Nate nodded. "I suppose they are. I was thinking that any one of these places would have a big enough space for your art studio."

He glanced over in time to see Lizzie's surprised expression. "What?"

"Aren't you going to look for anything that you want?" she asked.

He chuckled. "What do I need?" He shrugged and looked around. "A room for a gym, maybe. An office and roads to jog on. I can get that anywhere. Just like finding work as an accountant."

"I don't want you only thinking of me as we try to find a home here."

"Lizzie, I always think of you and anything I can do to make you happy." He reached over and squeezed her hand where it rested on her thigh. "It's all I want."

"You're something else, you know that?"

He nodded and winked at her. "I know. And I have to live with that knowledge every day."

She laughed and squeezed his hand back.

It was Saturday and they rounded the block to find an open house another half mile up the road. It was a nice bungalow, unusual for this area but the lot size allowed for the larger footprint of the house. They wandered through the rooms, not saying much but never letting go of each other's hand.

When they got to the master bedroom, on the northwest side of the house, they both stopped and stared.

Lizzie pointed out the window. "That is the most amazing view we've seen here."

Nate had to agree. He hadn't realized this house was so close to the neighborhood green space with the little lake and walking paths. The lot on this end of the house sloped down and away, leaving a beautiful panoramic view of the surrounding parkland over the line of the trees at the back of the property. There was even a small private patio outside the bedroom, with wrought-iron railings twisted in artistic lengths.

Nate could already see their chairs on the deck, Lizzie sitting in one with her sketchpad on her lap, he in the other, cup of coffee and newspaper in his hands. He could imagine watching the sun set every night too, holding Lizzie in his arms and whispering all the things he wanted to do to her in bed after dark.

"I think we should make an offer." The words were out before he'd had a chance to think beyond his daydream.

Lizzie laughed and jiggled his hand. "Maybe we should check out the rest of the house first."

Nate turned to her with a smile and nodded. They walked through the rest of the house, finding and admiring the other two bedrooms, the large, state-of-the-art kitchen, and the back deck with the beautiful, elaborate gardens. Downstairs, they found a wide-open living space complete with a wet bar and wine cellar.

"This is a nice house, Nate." Lizzie let go of his hand to walk over and look out a window. For a basement, it wasn't very basement-like. The windows were high but large, letting in an inordinate amount of light. "But neither of those spare bedrooms upstairs were big enough for an art studio for me."

Nate nodded. "You're right. I guess we'll just have to renovate part of the basement into a studio for you."

Lizzie turned from the window to look at him. Nate met her gaze and neither of them spoke for a long moment. She dropped her hands from the windowsill and twisted her fingers together. Nate walked towards her and pulled her hands apart to bring her fingers to his lips.

"Boy, you just have an answer for everything, don't you?" Lizzie smiled over his bent head. "Quite a change from just a few weeks ago when neither of us had answers for anything."

Nate nodded. "It's not that we didn't have answers. I think it's that we didn't want to face what the answers meant."

Lizzie looked back and forth between his eyes. "You're right. And now you're ready to face the answers?"

"I don't know about that but I know I don't want to keep going on the way we have been. I'm ready for a change." He leaned closer, their noses almost touching. "Aren't you?"

She stared at him for a moment longer then nodded. "You're right. We should go make an offer."

Nate kissed her and they walked back upstairs to find the realtor.

****

Lizzie knew it wouldn't last, their elation over making a decision and moving forward with their lives. They got home and reality sank back in. As Lizzie moved forward with her transition, Nate made arrangements to close out his accounts. Somewhere in the midst of moving arrangements, packing and unwinding together, they knew they had to make time to tell their parents.

Lance made a suggestion as to how they should handle it. He came over one evening and they all dined on Chinese takeout over boxes draped with old checkered tablecloths.

"You need to invite them over for coffee, they'll see the boxes and there's your conversation starter." Lance gestured with his chopsticks as he spoke. "The rest will just come."

Lizzie and Nate exchanged a look. They battled their guilt daily already for not having even mentioned the move to their parents up to this point. There was a good chance they might not even be forgiven for that, never mind their relationship.

"Thanks, Lance, but it's going to take more than that, I'm afraid." Lizzie smiled and lifted a dumpling from her plate.

"Well, the longer you leave it, the worse it'll be." Lance dug around his vegetables until he found a piece of water chestnut. "Don't think you can just move and then call them from Atlanta."

Lizzie shook her head with a laugh. "No. We wouldn't do that. But how do you tell your parents you're in love with your brother?"

"I'd start by assuring them that it doesn't have anything to do with them."

Nate nodded in agreement. Lance's words made sense. Lizzie agreed as well but she knew that no matter how they put it, their parents were going to be hurt and confused, maybe disgusted and angry. Maybe even angry enough to decide never to see them again.

"All I know is it'll be easier for them once we're in Atlanta." Lizzie pushed the remaining food around on her plate. "The distance will help."

"Easier for them? Or for you two?"

Lizzie glanced up at Lance before looking to her brother. Nate met her eyes with his own steady gaze and she felt calmness settle over her. The hardest part of all this was still to come but in the past several weeks, she'd come to realize that with Nate, she knew she could face anything. To Lance's question, she had no firm answer except that it was a little of both.

The three of them finished their meals and cleaned up. Lance offered to come back the next weekend to help them pack but they declined.

"I think we'll go have lunch with them on Saturday." Nate reached for Lizzie's hand.

She squeezed his fingers and he looked down at her with a smile. She stepped closer and he tucked her against his side with one arm. They looked up at Lance, who stood near the front door.

"So when do you guys move?"

"Three weeks tomorrow," Lizzie said.

"Wow. Coming up fast." Lance narrowed his eyes. "Don't wait to tell your parents. Go for dinner tomorrow night."

Lizzie and Nate exchanged another look but didn't say anything about it one way or another. They hugged Lance goodnight and watched him head down the front walk towards his waiting vehicle.

"He really is a good guy, isn't he?"

Lizzie smiled at Nate's perplexed tone. "I think he is."

"He doesn't care at all about us being together. I mean, he cares, but only as a friend looking out for other friends."

"I know what you mean."

Nate nodded and they backed into the house, shutting the door behind them. They made their way upstairs to the last two rooms in the house that hadn't been packed up, their bedroom and their shared office. Nate went to his computer to make sure everything was shut down for the night and Lizzie flipped her sketchbook open.

The page it opened to was her sketch from several weeks ago, following a restless night. She'd dreamt of the isolated cabin by the lake and drawn it after waking up in the middle of the night. Later that night, Nate had found her and offered her comfort as only he could. She smiled as she traced the outline of the chimney with one finger. So much had changed since that lost and hopeless night.

"What are you working on?" Nate asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Nothing yet." She walked over to his desk and he pushed his chair back so she could settle in his lap. "I was just looking at this."

He nodded as he looked down at the drawing. "I remember. It's very good."

Lizzie smiled and relaxed against his chest. She kissed his cheek and put her fingers to the cabin in the drawing. "I'll have to do another one once we've moved."

"Good idea, sweetie." He kissed her and held her close while they stared at the drawing for another few minutes.

Nate yawned. "I'm beat."

"Me too." Lizzie closed the sketchbook, any urge to draw now gone. She set it on his desk and cuddled up to his chest.

For a little while, they sat there, arms around each other, hearts beating in time. It was quiet in the house, no artificial noise or light beyond Nate's desk lamp. Noise from the street out front was almost nonexistent. They could almost pretend they were alone in the world. A few weeks ago, plagued with bleak dreams, Lizzie would have been afraid of that very thing. Now, she realized she only needed one thing: Nate.

She tipped her head back and he looked down into her face. "Let's go to bed."

He chuckled and pressed a brief kiss to her lips. "It's only nine. You're that tired?"

Lizzie grinned. "No. I'm not tired at all, but you just said you're beat." She shivered as she watched Nate's eyes darken and his grasp around her tightened.

"Well then. I'm sure I can figure out a way to get us both a good night's rest."

And he did just that.

Next weekend, they took the long drive out to their childhood home in Winnetka. Just as they'd done last time, they held hands and spoke little. Lizzie's leg twitched and Nate's fingers tightened more than a few times on the steering wheel.

"Should we eat first?" Lizzie asked.

Nate glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "As opposed to...?"

"Telling them before we eat?"

"Is that something you want to do on a full stomach?" Nate gave her a weak smile.

She looked out the windshield and Nate saw the muscles of her throat work as she swallowed. "I think they might not want to hear it on a full stomach."

Nate's insides clenched at the thought of how their parents would react. They'd agreed to lay it all out for them, be honest and clear, answer any questions they might have. Above all, they wouldn't fight with them. If the worst happened, they'd just leave and go back home. In a short while, they'd be moving and they'd be out of their parents' hair for good, if they wanted it that way.

Drawing in a deep breath, all Nate could do was squeeze Lizzie's fingers. They'd be at their mother and father's house in a few more miles. There was no going back.

"I love you," Lizzie whispered as they pulled into the driveway.

"I love you, too." He brought her hand to his lips for a kiss.

He parked the car and they got out. At the front door, their mother answered after the first knock.

"I'm amazed!" Clara exclaimed and drew them inside for hugs. "You're on time for once."

They laughed and Nate knew their mother wouldn't hear the strain in their laughter.

"Where's Dad?" Lizzie asked.

"He's in his den, watching the game." Clara turned and urged them towards the kitchen. "God, you're both too skinny. Come eat something."

"Mom, we're here for lunch." Nate laughed but followed his mother into the kitchen. "The whole point is eating."

"Yes, well, lunch won't be ready for a bit yet. Come have a snack and then you can go tear your father away from the television."

Lizzie and Nate exchanged a look as their mother moved across the kitchen. It didn't matter what they looked like, if they were chubby or skeletal. Clara liked to feed her kids. They submitted to her snack-administering and sat together at the kitchen table.

"How is work, Elizabeth?" Clara asked as she set a bowl of mixed fruit on the table between them.

"It's great." Lizzie smiled, happy to discuss her work. Ever since accepting the new position, she'd been taking on new and different duties as training for her eventual transfer. She told her mother about the new job and left out the part about the transfer to Atlanta for the moment.

"That's wonderful, my dear." Clara bent to kiss her daughter on the cheek. "I knew you'd make a name for yourself there, but I had no idea it'd be so fast."

"Me either, Mom." Lizzie agreed with a nod before glancing at Nate again.

He couldn't help it. He beamed with pride at the way her cheeks turned pink with pleasure at the discussion. He knew she'd been working her ass off for months now and more recently, since accepting the new position. She came home fit to bursting with tales of her day at work and all the new things she'd been learning. Between that and the move, she'd changed. She was more relaxed and playful. Nate would have loved her forever, no matter what, but he'd be lying if he said the change to her demeanor didn't please him.

"Maybe now you can get your own place and let Nate have his house back," Clara said as she turned back to the counter where she was finishing up with lunch prep.

At that, Lizzie straightened up in her chair, the cheerful color fading from her face. Nate met her look and gave a slight nod.

"Uh, I'll go get Dad." He stood up and hurried down the hall to find his father. He heard Lizzie speaking to their mother.

"Mom, there's something about the job that I have to tell you..."

Nate swallowed the lump in his throat. It was here, the time they'd have to come clean with their parents. He paused in the doorway to the den and knocked on the open door.

"Dad?"

"Hi, Nathaniel. How are you, son?" Davis stood up and walked over to give his son a hug. "Where's your sister?"

"In the kitchen with Mom." Nate swallowed again and gave his father a weak smile. "Would you come into the kitchen? Lizzie has some news to share."

Davis grinned. "Yeah? Of course." He turned and picked up the remote to flick the TV off. Then he followed Nate back to the kitchen.

"Hi, Dad." Lizzie stood up to give her father a hug.

"Hi, sweetie." He kissed her forehead and held her at arm's length. "You look different. Are you eating enough?"

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Why is that the first question from both of you? Yes, I eat enough."

"We just want to make sure you're taking care of yourselves." Clara smiled over her shoulder. "Davis, get them some drinks and sit down so Elizabeth can tell us her news."

"Sure. Nate, you want a beer?"

"No thanks. Just iced tea is good."

"Elizabeth?"

"Same for me."

Davis pulled the pitcher from the fridge and poured four glasses. He set Clara's on the counter, giving her a quick kiss and squeeze around her waist with one hand. Then he sat across the table from Lizzie and Nate, setting their glasses down as well.

"So what's the big news, Elizabeth?" Davis asked.

"I was telling Mom about my new position with the publisher." Lizzie quickly recounted what she'd already told Clara about the job. Davis grinned, patted her hand and gave her a hearty congratulations.

"Thanks, Dad." Lizzie smiled and looked down at the table. She fidgeted for a minute until Nate touched her leg under the table. Her eyes lifted, flicked over his face briefly before turning to their father again. Clara had moved over to sit beside Davis as well.

"What is it?" Their mother cocked her head to one side.

"This new job came with... conditions." Lizzie swallowed. "Well, one condition, really."

"What?"

Lizzie glanced sideways at Nate once more. "Um. I have to move. To Atlanta. The new position is there."

For a second, no one spoke. Davis cleared his throat and reached for his wife's hand. "Elizabeth, this job is an amazing opportunity for you. If it was in Anchorage, we'd still say you should take it."

"Oh, I've accepted the job, Dad. I've already been down there to look for a place to live."

"That's wonderful, my dear." Clara blinked a few times and Nate knew she was holding back tears.

He looked down. He had a sinking feeling that the rest of this conversation wasn't going to go well at all.

"Of course, we'll miss you, but it's only a plane ride away," Davis said, still holding Clara's hand. "When do you move?"

"In a little less than three weeks."

"My goodness, that's soon." Clara looked up and gave her daughter a watery smile. "Do you need help packing?"

"No, Nate... um, Nate's done a lot."

Nate could hear the catch in her voice and knew he'd have to do the rest. She was on the verge of breaking down.

"Well, at least Nate will get his house back." Clara gave a little laugh. "You can start doing your own thing again."

"Mom, Dad. There's something else we need to tell you." Nate cleared his throat, the words churning over and over in his head. He needed to say it, just say it once, out loud for them and then they could deal with whatever came. The were stuck though, lodged in his throat and he struggled.

Their father frowned. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I'm moving. To Atlanta, as well."

Davis frowned. "I don't understand. Did your office offer you a new position there?"

"No. I've signed off most of my accounts here and tendered my resignation with the firm."

Clara shook her head. "Why would you do that? What's in Atlanta?"

Nate looked at Lizzie. Her eyes were wide and she was pale as snow. Now. He needed to say it now. All of it, all at once.

"Lizzie will be there. We're moving to Atlanta together."

Silence dropped over them like a shockwave. Lizzie reached down to clutch Nate's fingers where they still rested on her thigh. He returned the gesture, more than aware of the desperate worry in her grasp. Drawing in a deep breath, he lifted their joined hands, overpowering Lizzie's panicked resistance, and set their hands on the table.

Their parents' eyes fell to their hands and Clara sucked in a sharp breath. "No." Her voice was barely a whisper, her face drawn taut.

"I don't understand." This from Davis, his expression one of confusion.

"I'm moving... we're moving to Atlanta together." Nate drew a deep breath. "I'm moving because Lizzie took that job in Atlanta and we didn't want to be apart from each other. It's what... it's what couples do."

"Couples?" Davis' eyes snapped to Nate's face. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Davis..." Clara's voice was weak and her husband turned to her immediately. "Don't."

"Don't what? Ask questions? Did you hear what he just said?"

Clara stared at her husband, her eyes pleading. Nate and Lizzie watched the exchange, their fingers tightening their hold.

Davis swung his head back to pierce Nate with a stony gaze. "You mean to tell me that you and your sister have been carrying on like a couple in that house? This whole time? Is that why you've never thought of moving out? Is that it?"

Lizzie flinched as her father's voice rose. "No. It hasn't been that long. We didn't... get together until later."

"Jesus Christ." He dropped his head to his hands. "This is not happening."

"Dad, please." Nate stopped and cleared his throat. It was difficult to breathe all of a sudden. "We didn't–"

"Don't you say anything." Davis jerked away from the table and stood up. "Don't you defend yourself in this."

Nate blinked, taken aback. Whatever he might have been expecting, it hadn't been this. "I'm not defending myself. I haven't done anything wrong."

"Nothing wrong? Are you kidding me?" Davis gestured between them. "Taking advantage of your little sister like this doesn't require a defense?"

Lizzie spoke up again. "Dad, it wasn't like that. He didn't take advantage of me. I wanted to be with him the same way he did with me."

"Don't say that." Davis shook his head. "You can't mean it."

"I do, actually." Lizzie stared hard at him when he looked her way. "I'm not a child and I'm not stupid enough to allow someone to take advantage of me."

Davis frowned. "I never said you were stupid."

"No, but you think I'm so naive or... or insecure that I would fall for it." Lizzie lifted her chin. "I'm not stupid or naive, and I'm definitely not insecure. If I was, we wouldn't be here, telling you the truth about us."

"The truth?" This from their mother, who until now had remained mostly silent. She looked up, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "The truth is you two have been carrying on for how long like this?"

"Nine months." Nate looked down. "Almost ten."

Clara stared at him and then shook her head. "Ten months. Ten months and you tell us now? And only because you're moving away."

Lizzie looked at her mother and when she spoke, there was a catch in her voice. "We thought it might be easier this way."

"Easier? To lose both my children in one fell swoop?" Clara covered her mouth with her hand. Nate felt his heart twist when he saw how her fingers trembled. "I don't understand. Why did this happen?" She looked back and forth between her children. "Did we do something wrong?"

"Mom, this isn't your fault." Nate reached for his mother's free hand and she let him take it. "It's no one's fault. There's no one to blame. We fell in love, that's all."

"In love?" Davis let out a dry laugh and turned away from the table. "You're not in love. You're two confused kids who have been living together for over a year and you were... I don't know, bored or something. You got curious and you think it's love." He turned back to face them, pointing a finger at Nate. "You're not moving to Atlanta, Nate. I won't allow it."

Nate stared at his father, his heart sinking with each passing moment. "I'm well past the age when you had any say in my decisions, Dad."

"I do have a say and I say you're not going to Atlanta where you can continue to ruin your sister's life!"

"He's not ruining my life!" Lizzie shot to her feet, the chair clattering on its side behind her. "Nate completes my life, Dad. I can't live without him."

Davis turned pained eyes on her. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do." Lizzie straightened and drew her shoulders back. "We decided to come here today and tell you both the truth about our relationship. We knew you'd be upset but we didn't expect insults about our maturity and intelligence."

"Lizzie–"

"No. Let me finish." Lizzie looked down for a second and drew in a breath before proceeding. "First and foremost, you don't have any say in the decisions we make about our own lives. We told you we were moving because that's what you do, you tell your family about the big decisions, but you don't ask permission." She glanced back and forth between her mother and father before speaking again, this time with a catch in her voice. "Nate did not take advantage of me. This was something mutual that we both walked into with open eyes."

She turned, reaching for Nate and he stood up with her, clasping her trembling hand in his. They shared a brief look and faced their parents together. "We are adults, Dad. We're also in love. You don't have to like it but you will have to accept it if you ever want to be a part of our lives from here on out because Nate and I, we're in this for life."

No one spoke. Silence filled the kitchen for a long minute, then another. Clara was stirred to action when the single pot on the stove boiled over. She lifted the pot, turned off the element and faced the rest of the family. Nate saw her glance at Lizzie before focusing her gaze on Davis. Nate looked at his father and was shocked to see how pale the older man looked.

"I think..." Clara cleared her throat. "I think we need some time. I don't know what to think of all this." She finally looked at Nate and gave him a weak smile that made him feel like the biggest jerk in the world. "You caught us a little off guard."

Nate shifted on his feet. "There was no easy way to talk about this."

Davis made a noise and turned away, arms crossed over his chest. Clara went to his side and touched his shoulder. Without looking at their children, she sniffed once before speaking again. "I think it'd be best if you two just went on home for now."

"Mom..." Lizzie's voice was plaintive but when she said nothing else, Nate knew it would be best if they left.

"We'll call before we move." Nate put an arm around Lizzie's shoulders to guide her out of the kitchen. "Or you can call us if you want to talk."

Neither Davis or Clara responded. Nate and Lizzie stopped in the kitchen doorway and faced their parents once more.

"I love you, Mom, Dad."

Lizzie echoed Nate's words and they walked away, no comforting response from either parent.

In the car, Nate started the engine with shaking hands. He managed to back down the driveway and down the block. He didn't realize how far he'd gone until the first sign for the interstate came into view.

Then he started to shake and had to pull over to avoid running into something. As soon as saw the restaurant and the relatively empty lot, he pulled off the road and parked. Lizzie was already reaching for him when he turned to her and for a long time, they clung to each other.

"Oh God, Lizzie. I've never... I didn't think they'd..." Nate shook his head and buried his nose in her hair.

"I know. I didn't think Dad would react like that. Or Mom." Lizzie shook her head.

"I didn't know what to expect." Nate sighed and pulled away so he could look into Lizzie's face. He brushed her hair back from her face, where he'd messed it up because of their embrace. "I didn't expect that."

They stared at each other for a second and then Lizzie started to laugh. Nate blinked, surprised and then he started to laugh as well. It wasn't the kind of laugh you shared over a joke. This was a laugh that seemed to ease some of the nervous tension and energy they'd been carting around all day. The sudden loss of all that energy left them feeling giddy, if not exactly relieved.

Their laughter died and they leaned on one another for a few minutes. Nate pressed kisses to Lizzie's face and hair while she rubbed a hand up and down his arm.

Nate was the one to break the silence. "I guess we should get home."

"Yeah. You're probably right."

They still held on to each other. After another lengthy period, they at last separated, shared a kiss and faced forward. Nate turned the key in the ignition and took a deep breath before putting the car in gear. Once they rolled back into traffic, Nate reached for Lizzie's hand and they laced their fingers together.

"Do you think they'll come around?" Lizzie asked after a few miles.

"I don't know. I hope so." Nate squeezed her fingers. "You did."

Lizzie's head swiveled around and she stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

With a smile, Nate brought her fingers to his lips. "When you moved back home. You just needed to come around."

Lizzie let out a soft laugh. "Did you know that I would?"

"I hoped and prayed that you would." Nate's hand tightened around hers. "I was so scared I'd never see you again."

"Oh, Nate." Now it was Lizzie's turn to kiss his hand. "I can't imagine what it would be like to not have you in my life. I don't even want to imagine it."

"Well, lucky for you, we're stuck with each other."

Lizzie smiled. "Not stuck. Blessed."

"You're right. You're always right."

"Not always." Lizzie shook her head. "I was wrong to run away." Her face colored. "I was wrong to sleep with Lance."

"Sweetie, it doesn't matter now." He jiggled her hand in his until she looked at him again, her cheeks still pink with remembered shame. "What happened before you came home doesn't matter. We were both surprised by what happened between us and neither of us knew how to deal with it."

"That's true. It was a surprise." A beat of silence passed. "I guess I can understand Dad's reaction then. It's not like I handled it well at first."

Nate chuckled. "Neither did I. But you came home, Lizzie. That's all that matters now. That and the fact that we'll always be together."

She nodded in agreement and kissed his hand again. "You're right again, my love." She smiled. "God, I wish you could have seen your face when I came home."

Nate chuckled. "Was it something like this?" He pasted an exaggerated expression of shock on his face and Lizzie laughed.

"Close. Were you really so shocked to see me home?"

"Like I said, I'd hoped and prayed that I'd see you again but wishing for something and having it actually happen are two different things."

"I suppose so. Once you got over your surprise you seemed better."

"Did I? I think I was still in shock for a couple weeks."

Lizzie grinned and squeezed his fingers. "I couldn't tell."

Nate turned to look at her and gave her an identical grin in response. "No?"

"I was so lost in love with you that you could have grown a second head and I might not have noticed."

Nate couldn't speak for the sudden emotion clogging his throat. He pressed Lizzie's fingers and she returned the gesture. They didn't speak again for the rest of the drive home, words no longer required for now.


EIGHT MONTHS AGO

Nate came home from work at his usual time and Lizzie spent the remaining ten minutes before that pacing through the main floor of the house. When she'd arrived back at the house, she'd had a momentary panic that her key wouldn't work but Nate hadn't changed the locks. She let herself in, dropped her suitcases in her old room and commenced with the pacing.

When she heard the garage door opening, she hurried to the kitchen and waited for Nate to walk in. He did, carrying his briefcase in one hand and a newspaper in the other. He didn't notice her at first, his gaze on the newspaper. He turned, locked the door and tossed his keys on the counter before looking up.

"Lizzie."

The way he said her name, with no inflection in it, not even surprise, though his face showed a crazy mixture of emotion, made her heart twist.

"Hello Nate."

They stood there, looking at one another. Lizzie twisted her fingers together and glanced down. As their gaze broke, Nate walked to the kitchen table and set his briefcase and newspaper on its surface.

"Where have you been?"

"Lance's."

He winced at the sound of the man's name. "Does he know you're here now?"

Lizzie shook her head. "He knows I'm out but he doesn't know I came here."

Nate pinned her with a hard look. "Does he know why you left in the first place?"

"No." Lizzie could hardly speak for the tension in her body. "He doesn't know anything except that I needed a place to stay."

"And now?"

"Now what?" Lizzie could understand why he was so upset with her but she didn't know what to say to turn this around. She could throw herself at his feet and beg for forgiveness or she could speak to him like an adult until he understood.

Nate frowned. "Now you want to move back in? Like nothing happened?"

"No, Nate. I'm not..." Lizzie stopped and drew in a deep breath before continuing. "I would like to move back in, if you'll let me, but I'm not pretending that nothing happened."

Nate's face relaxed a fraction as she spoke. Lizzie took it as a good sign and took a few steps closer. He didn't step away when she moved close enough to touch. But she didn't touch him.

"Nate, I'm sorry I ran away without talking to you." She cleared her throat. "It was stupid but what happened was so... unexpected that I didn't know what to do."

"I was shocked by what happened too, Lizzie, but I didn't want to run away."

"I know. I'm so sorry." Lizzie did reach for him then, putting her hand on his arm. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I thought we were closer than that."

Lizzie's eyes widened and she bit her lip. Nate flushed, as if he'd just heard his words.

"I didn't mean... That's not what I meant. What I mean is, we were friends. Before. You and I have always been able to talk."

"I agree. That's why I'm here now. We need to talk."

Nate shook his head. "We needed to talk a month ago."

Lizzie blinked and let her hand fall from his arm. "Are you saying you don't want to talk now?"

Nate looked at her. Lizzie met his gaze, feeling the heat rise higher up her neck to her face with each passing second. She gasped and turned to walk away, to put some distance between them. Nate grabbed her wrist and spun her around. They stepped together then, with Nate backing Lizzie up until she felt the wall at her back.

"I don't want you to talk." Nate leaned so close, Lizzie tipped her chin up, expecting his kiss. His breath washed over her lips and he tilted his head to one side. "I want you to listen." He moved his head again and his next exhalation tickled her ear. She shuddered. "I love you, Lizzie. I don't know when or how it happened but I fell in love with you. Not my sister, but the woman in my arms."

Lizzie blinked, tears stinging her eyes. She opened her mouth but no words came out.

Nate kissed her ear before speaking again. "When you left, it felt like you'd walked off with my heart. I could barely function without you. I was out of my mind with worry. But I didn't stop loving you, or wanting you."

"Nate..."

He drew back far enough to meet her gaze. "Lizzie, please don't leave me again. If you do, you might as well kill me before you go because it'll have the same effect."

Lizzie looked into his eyes, his beautiful brown eyes, and nodded. "I'll never leave. As long as you want me here, I'm yours, Nate."

He squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead against hers. His next breath was weak and shaky and Lizzie put her hands on his shoulders, desperate to touch him.

"Do you mean that, Lizzie? Really?"

"Yes."

He shook his head and Lizzie reached up to cup his face in her hands.

"Nate, open your eyes."

He didn't.

"Look at me."

After another second, he did as she asked and her heart squeezed at the tears she saw glistening in his eyes.

"Nate, I fell in love with you, too. I knew it that night and that scared me more than anything." She blinked back tears of her own, forging on ahead to get the words out before emotion overcame her. "I've never been in love before, Nate. Falling in love with you felt... right. So right. As if I'd been waiting all this time to feel that thing and I was meant to feel it with you."

She paused, drawing on her inner reserves of strength before she went on. "But you are my brother. I'm your sister."

"Half-sister," he corrected in a weak voice.

Lizzie smiled and the tears slipped out of the corners of her eyes. "Nate. We can't have a relationship."

His grip on her arms tightened and she winced. He kissed her then, just the quick pressure of his lips on hers. "We can't not have a relationship." He kissed her again, lingering a few seconds longer this time. "I can't not be with you, Lizzie."

"Nate..."

He kissed her to silence whatever protest she'd been about to voice. She couldn't even say for certain what it was she'd been about to say. The heat and softness of Nate's lips on hers erased every thought but one.

"I love you, Nate." The words were muffled by the way his mouth covered hers but he heard her and understood.

Their kiss lasted another several minutes, long, lovely minutes of quick breaths and tight grasps. At last, Nate pulled away and pressed his cheek to Lizzie's. She kept her eyes closed and smiled, enjoying the feel of his body heat, letting it warm her.

"We need to talk."

Lizzie's eyes popped open and let her head fall back with a dull thud against the wall. "Talk? About what?"

Nate gave her a gentle smile and touched her chin. He raised his fingers to stroke the curve of her cheekbone. He traced the outline of her brow and brought his finger down the other side of her face, stopping in the middle of her bottom lip. "Talk about all the ways this can't work."

Her heart gave a horrid thump against her ribs. She swallowed and looked down at his hand. She blinked a few times, desperate to keep tears at bay. Nate hooked his finger under her chin and lifted her face back to his.

"And all the ways we're going to make this work."

Lizzie's bottom lip started to tremble and Nate pulled her into the circle of his arms. He held her close as the tears spilled over and she wrapped weak arms around his middle.

After a time, he moved with her into the living room and they sat on the couch. Nate kept his arms around her and she settled against his chest with a shaky sigh. He stroked his hands up and down her sides and back, soothing her, and eventually her tears subsided and her breathing evened out.

She rested her head on his arm, meeting his warm gaze. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Nate smiled. "Where to even begin?"

They fell silent. Lizzie shifted beside him and spoke.

"I didn't know, when I moved in here, that we... that I would..."

Nate nodded. "I didn't either. When you started spending time with Lance though, it almost drove me out of my mind."

Lizzie glanced up in time to see him shake his head.

"I still can't believe how badly I lost it."

"Me either," she murmured, remembering their fight that night. The night before she'd come back early from her date and–

"I don't regret it though, since it seemed to have been the turning point."

"I agree." Lizzie squirmed beside him as the memories heated her blood. "I'm sorry for running away."

Nate squeezed his arms around her. "I know. Not knowing where you'd gone was awful."

Lizzie shut her eyes, wanting to take back the last month of their lives. She should have stayed, talked to him after they'd broken that familial law. They could have figured things out on that very night.

She shook her head. It wouldn't have happened that way. There was no chance she'd have been in a calm enough state of mind to handle that kind of conversation.

"I promise I'll never take off like that again, Nate. I'm so sorry for worrying you so much."

When Nate didn't speak, Lizzie sat up beside him to look into his eyes. She touched his face. "Nate, I'm sorry."

His dark eyes scanned her face and he nodded once. "I know you are and I know you won't do it again. You know now how it would hurt me."

"I never wanted to hurt you." She hung her head, her hand falling from his face. "I still don't. Nate, how can we do this? How can this ever work?" Hope was dimming with every passing word.

"Hey, Lizzie, sweetie. Don't cry, please. Look at me."

She lifted her face and blinked tears from her eyes. They slid over her cheeks. "Be honest, Nate. Do you really see us having any kind of real relationship? Or having any chance at a normal life together?"​