Incest/Taboo Discovering Mum

I had to agree. Considering his drinking habits recently, it seemed the most likely scenario. I just shrugged and smiled at her. I realised I had reached a point where I just didn't care if he wanted to drink himself into oblivion anymore. If it wasn't hurting Mum or me, then I just didn't care anymore.

"At least it's quiet."

We both chuckled, and Mum looked across at Chilton.

"I know we sound a bit cold and callous about this at the moment, but you have no idea how much heartache that man has caused us lately."

He smiled and held his hands up in mock defence.

"Hey, I'm not judging. If there is one thing I have discovered in my life, it is you have to do whatever is necessary for your own happiness. Fuck what anyone else thinks. As far as I am concerned, so long as you aren't hurting anyone else, if it makes you happy, then go for it."

She was looking at him in a way that was almost questioning if he knew more than he was letting on. She looked almost frightened but excited at the same time. After a few seconds, she seemed to come to the conclusion that he was just speaking words of experience and wisdom, then relaxed a little. I could see in his face that he was now thinking a little deeper about what he had perhaps missed. He certainly didn't fail to see the mild look of panic that flitted across her face for a moment. Nothing was said, but questions were asked between them silently.

Thankfully, neither seemed to want to pursue it for now, and the tension eased in the room. No one openly acknowledged it, but everyone was aware of it.

There was a pause as everyone stopped to think for a moment, and then she started asking the questions that she really wanted answers to. The reason we were here after all.

"I know you can't really say, but I was wondering if you had any idea how long Mum has left."

Chilton nodded slowly as he looked at his hands. He took his time thinking about it and then made a decision. He spoke in a softer, quieter voice.

"I am willing to talk about this, but give me a minute to go check on Liz first. I'll be back in a minute."

He stood up, but before he left the room, he turned back to Mum and me.

"I'm going to make myself a cup of tea while I'm up. Would either of you like one too?"

We both agreed, and I offered to make them, but he insisted we stay put as it would give him a moment to think about what Mum had asked while he made it. He left the room, and we heard him go into my grandmother's room. At first we sat in silence, but after a minute, Mum turned to me.

"I'm sorry I dropped that news on you about staying here. I haven't actually decided anything yet. The thought came to me, and I just blurted it out. I want to discuss it with you over the next few days, though."

"I have to admit, that kind of threw me for a loop. I think there's a lot we have to think about first, though."

She nodded and looked down at her hands.

"There is something that I have decided, though. Something that I thought I would need more time to think about, but every time I think about it, the more convinced I am that it's the right thing to do. I am going to get a divorce."

I nodded. It was such a weird thing to try and process with my mind in so many places at the moment. I completely understood and respected her decision for herself. If she had asked my opinion, I would have told her to do exactly that. But it also felt like a chapter of my childhood was being closed forever. I knew it was already closed, but your inner child doesn't let go of these things so easily. From a purely personal and selfish aspect, I was delighted. I loved and cherished this new relationship that was developing, and I, selfishly, wanted more, and I saw this as an opportunity for more. I also felt a little bit guilty for feeling that way. Like I said. I was definitely feeling conflicted.

"There's something that I want to ask your opinion about, but I don't want to come across as a callous bitch."

"I know you're not like that. You can ask me anything. After today, surely you know that."

She smiled and nodded.

"Today sure has been an eye-opener for both of us, hasn't it? I don't want you to think it's because I don't trust you, but I need you to understand just how important it is that this remains just between the two of us."

"There is so much about today that will forever remain just between the two of us. I promise you that anything you tell me or ask me is going to be taken to my grave if that's what you want."

She looked at me seriously, as though trying to see in my face what I was thinking.

"Okay, one of the reasons I want to start divorce proceedings straight away is to protect us. I think Granny has a lot less time than I thought she did. I think Chilton will be able to give me a better idea on this, but I think it's definitely less than six months. I hate to say it out loud, but it could even be just days. The problem is, I know what is in her will. She plans to leave everything to me."

I started to get an inkling of where this was going, and I felt sad that she had to think this way.

"Hmm, I see."

"Yeah. If she passes away before the divorce proceedings are even started, I will have to sell this place and give half of the value to Dad. I'm happy to split everything else fifty-fifty, or he can even keep the house if he can't touch this one, but I couldn't stand it if he got to interfere with this place in any way. It's been my home since I was a little girl, and I know Mum wouldn't want him to have access to any of it either."

I nodded as I thought about it. I didn't want to see either of my parents get screwed over, but I could see where she was coming from. I took a deep breath and tried to be as detached about the whole thing as much as I could.

"Well, I think the logical thing to do is talk to Granny tomorrow, and then I think you need to go find a solicitor as soon as you possibly can. I suspect it's not going to be all that straightforward. I don't want it to get nasty, though. I think if you talk to Dad, he might just be agreeable to a lot of what you are saying. Especially if he feels that you are going to sweeten the deal and he gets to keep the house."

She was looking at me quite intently, and I watched as her chin quivered a bit, then a single tear slid down her cheek. I moved in closer to her and held her to me. I felt her shake a little as she cried silently against my chest. I kissed the top of her head and whispered.

"I love you so much."

Chilton called out quietly from the kitchen, asking how we wanted our cups of tea. I answered for both of us as she straightened up and wiped the tears from her eyes. She looked at me and smiled sadly.

"I love you too. Thank you. I'm sorry to have put you in this situation."

"Today has been a tough one for so many reasons, yet it's also been one of the best days of my life. Don't ever apologise for being true to yourself. Never again, okay?"

She smiled and nodded. Then she whispered.

"I could kiss you right now in a completely un-mother-like way, but I won't."

I chuckled.

"I wish you would."

She looked for a second like she was going to, or was at least considering the merits of doing it, but just at that moment, Chilton entered the room bearing two steaming mugs of tea.

My heart was pounding in my chest, and I know my face went red because of the thoughts running through my mind. I must have looked as guilty as sin, but Chilton didn't say anything to indicate he had noticed.

We thanked him for the cups of tea and watched as he settled himself in again. He took a sip of his tea and sighed in appreciation.

"It's one thing about spending so much time in England: you learn to appreciate a good cup of tea."

He took a few more moments to enjoy it before shifting in his seat and facing Mum.

"Now, to answer your question. I want you to know that this is purely speculation, and I absolutely cannot give you any sort of accurate time frame."

She nodded and smiled.

"I know that. I wasn't asking for a time and date, just an educated guess."

"Good. Some people are funny about this sort of thing, and I really don't like answering this question, especially if I think the family isn't ready to hear the truth."

"I understand. Don't feel you have to answer. I was just trying to brace myself for the inevitable and trying to wrap my mind around how much time I have left with her."

Chilton nodded and took another sip of his tea.

"Well, seeing as I think you are dealing with your mother's situation fairly rationally, I'll tell you my best guess. I would think she has a month, maybe two, and that's just based on what I have seen before and her attitude. I have seen people with the same condition look fine one day and be gone the next. I have also seen it drag out for an awfully long time. Both are possible, of course, but not as likely."

Her head bowed a little, and she went quiet. She wasn't crying this time, but she was obviously hurting. I instinctively reached out and took her hand. She squeezed it in acknowledgement but didn't say anything for quite some time.

The room was quiet except for the sounds of breathing and the sounds of tea being drunk as we were each lost in our own thoughts. After a while, Chilton stood up and stretched.

"Well, I have an early start, so I'm going to hit the sack. I will see you both in the morning."

He turned to walk out, but Mum spoke his name.

"Chilton?"

He turned back to face her, and she stood up out of her chair herself. She walked up to him and embraced him in a hug. He looked quite startled but eventually returned the hug.

"I want to say thank you. Thank you for being honest with me, but mostly I want to say thank you for everything you are doing for Mum. I truly appreciate it."

He smiled.

"You are most welcome, but this is my job."

"I know, but it's obvious to me that you care a great deal about your patients and the care you give. I can't ask for more than that."

He smiled at her praise, and I swear he was blushing, but his dark complexion made it impossible to tell.

"Thank you. Your mother is a special lady, and she has been an absolute pleasure to look after."

They released each other and both took a step back.

"Good night, Beth."

"Good night, Chilton."

She sat back down, but I could see she was back, deep in her thoughts. I was exhausted, and I wanted to leave her to her thoughts. I stood up and turned to face her.

"I'm tired. I'm going to go have a shower then hop into bed."

"Okay. I won't be too far off. I'm just going to send a message to your father."

I gave her a look that asked if she was okay, and she chuckled.

"I'm fine. I'm just going to say the same things you did. At least he won't be able to say that I left him out of the loop."

It felt kind of ridiculous to be so protective of her, but I couldn't help it.

After my shower I went into our room and lay in the bed. It was such a surreal thing to know that I would soon be joined by my mother in bed. I knew it was a matter of convenience and nothing more. I knew that as a young man I probably should have felt more embarrassed than anything else, but my heart was pounding with the excitement. I then felt ridiculous because I knew that logically the only thing that would ever happen is that we sleep. However, after everything that had already happened today, I couldn't help but fantasise about the possibilities.

I was so tired that it wasn't long before the fantasy became a dream, and I didn't even stir when she got into bed with me.​