Drama Finding Beth

My next few days at the grill went okay. Trevor and I mostly worked different shifts -- I was mostly in at mornings and he at evenings, he'd come in early on that first day to help me. Whenever we did see each other I did my best to act normal but found it hard going -- I just couldn't help thinking about that night.

I ran into Jamie in the hallway once or twice, too, but either one of us were always in a hurry so barely did more than wave and smile. Until the weekend, that is.

I was at home, returned from work and freshly showered when there was a knock at my door. I opened it to Jamie who was all energy and smiles. She produced a bottle of wine from behind her back and beamed at me:

"Howdy neighbor!" in a mock, southern drawl, as if I was from Texas rather than literally fifty miles further south than right here. "I remembered you telling me about your job -- wanna cork open a bottle and tell me all about your first week?" Her energy was so damn infectious it was hard to say no, and for all the awkwardness I felt, given what I knew about her and she didn't know I knew there was a part of me that was lonely and really wanted to keep building a friendship with her. I said yes, but then kind of pathetically glanced behind me at by apartment: I had a fold-out kitchen table with two old chairs from my parent's house. I didn't even wine glasses. Jamie didn't even wait for me to say anything, she just waved me on.

"Come on over, you'll host when you're more settled, yeah?" I smiled and we went into her apartment.

Her apartment was very, very nice. It seemed an exact duplicate of mine, as I'd expected, but was lovingly, if a little sparsely decorated (though hardly compared to my own place at the time). Her dining room-cum kitchen had a small, round mahogany table; the kitchen space itself was pretty small, just like mine, but I saw a big assortment of spices and herbs.

As I took it all in Jamie quickly fished out two wine glasses and urged me further in to one of the two bedrooms. The door to the bigger one -- the one wall-to-wall with mine -- was partially opened and I carefully glanced it, but didn't see much. She had a beautiful leather sofa in front of a glass table but no TV. The table had candles and oil diffusers on it which spread a lovely, fresh flower scent throughout the room. A thick, lush carpet covered most of the floor. We both lived in small apartments but she'd made the most of it and I definitely felt a little jealous: My first paycheck had come in and I'd started to have my first, niggling fears about how I was going to be able to afford rent unless I got more hours at the grill.

Jamie poured me a glass and demanded I tell her everything about my new job and my first week. She wore a simple white blouse and jeans -- elegant, but casual. I felt a little awkard; my own shirt was hidden under a sweater vest but as we both sat next to each other I became acutely aware of my belly and how hers barely showed. The reason I usually wore something over a blouse like that was to not show off the way the buttons and the placket stretched when I sat down. Unconsciously I pushed my knees together as I took a sip and started telling her about Bart's Grill. Almost immediately she brightened up:

"Oh wait, is it Bart's Grill you work at? I have a friend who works there, Trevor, have you met him?" I took another, longer sip of wine to buy time as I again fought off thinking about her and Trevor too much.

"Mhm, yup -- he showed me how to work the grill. He seems nice."

"Yeah, Trevor's a real nice guy, lots of fun, too. We should go out for drinks together some time." My head swam but I said something non-committing. We kept chatting about work a little and had more wine until my head was starting to swim a little more from the wine than anything else. I was relaxing a little more and Jamie seemed a little buzzed, too.

She asked me more about my home; my family. I told her about my parents and my brothers, and she probed me for details. Did I grow up on a farm? No, I told her, just a house. Although my grandparents had a farm nearby. What was it like growing up with so many siblings? Being an only child having six brothers seemed to her like it would have been nice but also a bit of a nightmare. It had its moments, I told her, but was quick to point out I loved my brothers and they were very protective of me. Without too many details I told her how Jim and Simon, my two older brothers, had offered to beat up Mark for breaking up with me but I'd told them off for it: It really wasn't like Mark broke my heart.

"Sweet of them, though."

"I like I said, they're very protective of me." I smiled.

"Well, they had the right idea, I'm sure; I don't know Mark, but he's obviously a loser to let someone like you go." I blushed quite a lot and tried to brush her off, but she insisted: "Oh don't be modest! You're a real catch, and I'm sure in no time you'll be fending off the locals with a stick." she said, before adding with a wink; "Or giving them a spin, if you prefer of course." My cheeks burned bright red and I felt my thighs growing warm. Jamie emptied her glass and sadly noted we'd emptied the bottle (she'd done a bit more of the work than me). Lightweight as I was, I already felt buzzy and was a little scared of doing or saying something stupid.

Mercifully, Jamie told me she might be going out later and I said I was a bit too tired to go out this late (it was barely eight -- god I was such a wuss then). But I told her I really appreciated her inviting me over like this (which was true) and she reached in for a hug and told me she knew what it was like to be new in town. Then she got up as if on a mission and told me to come along. I rose a little unsteadily and followed her to her bedroom. By the time I turned the corner she was rooting through their closet and I found myself staring at her bedroom.

Her bed wasn't huge, only a little bigger than mine and only just big enough for two, but she had a little makeup table next to the closet, facing the bed, and draped over the head of the bed was a beautiful drapery of string lights which cast a soft glow over the entire bedroom. Both our bedrooms had windows facing a nearby street but she'd covered it in a full-length tapestry which gave the whole room a soft, cozy feeling. The head of her bed was against the wall adjacent to my apartment, and in that moment I couldn't help but imagine the scene I'd listened in to the week before:

I imagined Trevor lying down on the bed, his rigid cock up in the air, and as I watched Jamie still searching her closet I imagined her climbing onto the bed and up Trevor's legs and wrapping her lips around his member. I saw in my mind's eye her pausing for breath and telling him his cock was so big it only barely fit in her mouth.

Wait, if he was lying down, how did he bang the wall so hard? I asked myself and tried to imagine a different scenario, but I'm embarrassed to say I didn't quite have the imagination or the experience to figure out what it might have looked like. I glanced under the bed and thought I spotted a bag with the name of a famous camera brand on it and almost had a heart attack as I realized I also didn't know where the camera might have been.

"Here it is!" she held out a black leather jacket and presented it to me and I was startled back to reality.

"What's this?"

"It'll look good on you!" she said and motioned for me to take it. I hesitated, I didn't think she'd have anything that would fit me but she seemed insistent. I took it and awkwardly put it on. Jamie closed the closet door which had a mirror on the outside and nearly pushed me in front of it.

Fuck me, I thought. It actually fit me pretty well and damn if I didn't look pretty good in it. The sweater vest would have to go and maybe not this skirt, I thought, but yeah -- I could make this work.

"Oooh, girl you look hot!" Jamie said and bit her lower lip. I felt my world spin as she did.

"I can't-" I began but Jamie practically shouted me down.

"Don't be silly, it doesn't suit me and I'll just give it to charity if you don't take it. You look great it in! Consider it a moving in present. Sorry it's not a blender or something." I laughed a little and looked at myself in the mirror again. I'd never worn a jacket like that in my life. I looked like a badass city girl, I thought.

I thanked her and she pulled me in for a kiss on the cheek.

"I get you're tired, don't worry, but if you ever want a good time, just hit me up, hun -- you and I could get the whole town riled up, I'm sure." She meant going out for drinks, of course, I told myself. She probably did, in hindsight.Or maybe... the voice in my head said but I shut it out and said good night to Jamie before escaping to my own apartment. In comparison to hers mine looked so bland and lifeless.So boring. I had to do something about it, I told myself: If nothing else I needed to be able to repay the favor to Jamie and have her over. Although how I was going to be able to afford it I did not know.

I had some water to clear my head then lied in bed, my thoughts drawn to Jamie's bedroom. What was it I was so obsessed over?You're not gay, the voice in my head said again.Right? My heart raced even as I thought it. Being gay had not been an option I even thought about growing up. My parents weren't crazy right-wingers or nothing but... well it would have been complicated, let's say.I'm not gay, I told myself. I was just... fascinated. Curious, I guess.

Horny as fuck, the voice said and I closed my eyes. It was true, I'd been horny as all hell all week but afraid to do anything about it. I didn't really masturbate often but these past few days I'd stopped myself whenever the thought popped up, which it had a lot.

And I still stopped myself now. Stubbornly I changed into my pyjamas and got into bed properly and just like most nights put on my headphones and watched TV, ignoring the warmth and wetness between my legs. Eventually I dozed off.

Around midnight I woke up to sounds coming through the wall. I heard Jamie's front door open and close; I heard the lock rotate behind her and listened as she, I assumed, dropped her purse and clothes on the floor. I heard her say something and for a second I listened intently for another voice -- maybe she was with Trevor again? But no-one replied and I realized she must be muttering to herself. After a few minutes I figured she'd walked into her bedroom and I heard her drag something across the floor. The sound of Velcro being ripped open made me pause before my thoughts went to the camera bag I'd seen under her bed and my heart started racing. Again, I carefully put my ear against the wall and waited. After several minutes, I heard her voice again:

"Hi everyone! It's me, your favourite slut again. I wasn't planning on doing a video today but I just got home from a night out and I'm feeling really naughty. I saw all your little pervy comments on the last video and it made me sooo horny." I heard a short, soft moan. "I just can't stop looking forward to meeting my next fan. I hope he's big because I need a really good fuck. Let me show you."

There was some rustling before her voice returned. "Mmm, this is just what I need." I heard another slopping noise and I wondered what she was doing -- I couldn't tell yet. "Except I want a real one. A warm, hard cock from one of you. Mmm I'll treat it so nice, I promise. I'll suck it just like this..." more sloppy, wet noises. "Mmm, get you nice and ready for me. Then I'll spread my legs for you just like this and you -- ah! Ah you just slide it in just... like... this..." she gave little yelps as she, I imagined, slid something into her pussy. I heard a creak from her bed and closed my eyes. I saw her in my imagination, the string lights casting her in a warm, soft glow as she spread her legs and played with a dildo for me. I imagined myself watching her, and her eyes meeting mine and her laughing sweetly.

"Won't you join me, Beth?" She did not say Beth. That was my imagination. But the rest was real, and she continued: "Leave a- ah! Leave a comment on this video on why... oh why you should win and an email address and you can- ooh... oooh you can come here and fuck me like this... or any way you want. I just really, really need a good, hard fuck from a guy with a big, fat cock right now! Mmm I can't wait to get fucked by one of you!"

I couldn't take it anymore. My right hand travelled down into my pyjama bottoms, down the small mound of pubes and slowly my fingers spread my pussy lips. I felt like I was on fire and I had to clench my teeth not to let out a yelp. On the other side of the wall Jamie continued her moaning and her pleas for someone to come and fuck her and I wished I had something to use on me -- but I didn't. Growing up in a crowded house with six brother it was asking for embarrassment to buy anything evenlike a sex toy. All I had was my hands, although that night I really didn't need much. I played the tip of my ring finger over my clit and my whole body shivered.

"That's it, that's it -- fuck me! Fuck me I don't care if you do it raw I just need you to fuck me!" I slid my finger in between my lips and moved my other hand down there, too. I worked my clit and slid a finger deeper inside myself, but thighs burning and the slick walls of my pussy aching. An embarrassing thought came through my head: I won't last long. I knew I needed to keep quiet -- I grabbed my pillow and pressed my face into it to muffle my noises.

"Ooooh fuck!" Jamie's voice reached a crescendo and again, in my head I saw her arching her back again, bucking into the air -- just like I'd imagined a week ago but more complete now. I came. I camehard. I'd been pent up for almost a week and I needed a release badly. My legs shook, my whole body shook and convulsed as I screamed my orgasm into my pillow, momentarily forgetting about everything else. I heard Jamie on the other side grunt and then let out a long, deep moan as she came down -- it sounded deeper than last time. Then silence. I lay still, my own breathing hard and ragged, my heart racing and my whole body still flooding with pleasure and relief. My sheets were covered in sweat and wetness. I slowly withdrew my hands and was shocked at how sticky my thighs were. I had never come like that in my life, not even close.

Eventually, Jamie spoke again.

"I hope you all enjoyed that, I know I did. Remember to leave a comment with your email and maybe -- I'll see you in a few weeks. Bye-bye now." I heard her blow a kiss and imagined she'd been speaking to me. I slowly calmed down, and as I heard her disappear into the bathroom like last time I did the same. When I came back I realized I didn't have any clean sheets. I went to sleep in my own juices and sweat and a strange, nebulous sense of shame.​