Incest/Taboo Gary, My Son

Gary, My Son

Mom Lures Son from Seclusion (a Tale of Two Mothers).
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Fucking idiots! I screamed.

Nobody turned to look of course because I had vented my frustrations to myself. The only apparent measure of my anger was the loud clicks of my heels on the once-polished floor of the school hallway, now populated by more than a few teenagers blatantly skipping classes, and the firm set of my jaw. I burst through the double doors which sprung back lively to crash together as I stomped down the cement steps to my car.

Fucking assholes!

Where did they get their degrees? I should call them and tell them what an embarrassment their graduates had become.

No evidence of bullying? Then why the fuck did they think my son was afraid to go to school? A good student suddenly refuses to go to school for no reason at all? Give me a break!

I dropped my keys, bent to pick them up, still fuming, fumbled them again, picked them up, couldn't get the key in the door, felt my arms and jaw to rigid, and yelled out loud, "FUCK!"

Several students and a couple of teachers turned to look. I tried the key again. It worked, so I got in the car, threw my purse on the passenger seat and put the key in the ignition but instead of starting the engine, I grabbed the steering wheel, leaned forward until my head hit the wheel, and cried. The teachers didn't approach the car to offer help.
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****​

"I'm home," I called.

Nobody answered but the house wasn't empty. I knew Gary was upstairs in his room where he would have been all day. He didn't even come down to eat anymore. At first, John tried to get our son to come down for dinner and wouldn't let me take his meals upstairs but eventually we gave up.

During the day, I found evidence of Gary's excursions seeking food when I was away. I guess his hunger could overcome his fear of the great unknown outside his room. Or maybe he wasn't afraid of being in the rest of the house when it was empty. Maybe he just wanted to avoid contact, to be alone, unless absolutely necessary. God knows, he didn't want company when he ate his dinner. For a while, I waited in the hallway after hearing Gary in the bathroom but he always seemed to know I was there and wouldn't come out until he heard me go downstairs.

Eventually, I lost hope and resigned myself to supporting the live-in recluse my son had become. I started going out on the flimsiest of excuses, any reason to get out of my dismal home. Finding evidence of Gary's scrounging for food while I was gone no longer raised my hopes. To make things worse, John became more distant, often missed dinner, and sometimes didn't come home until after I had gone to bed. Maybe he was having an affair—Who could blame him? Our home was as exciting as a tomb—but more likely, he just wanted to avoid being home as much as possible, just like me.

I went to the gym, not so much to become fit as to get away. I took photography lessons, cooking lessons, tried golf, shopped until I was bored to tears, joined a book club, and had coffee with friends until the day I noticed their conversation change when they saw me coming. My mind wandered when I was with them anyway. I might be avoiding home but my thoughts were always with my son.

What had happened to him? How could I help him if I didn't know that? I had tried but couldn't find the answer and that had paralyzed me. Well, no more! I had to find a way to engage my son. Gary wasn't going to spend the rest of his life hiding in a room.
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****​

A week later, I was at my wits end and ready to throw myself off a cliff. It didn't matter what I did, what I said, what I offered to entice him, Gary just wouldn't come out of his room. What was in there? Did he play games all day, look at porn, was that it? I didn't know for sure but sensed there wasn't anything keeping him in his room. He was truly afraid of going leaving.

We tried another round of doctors but they didn't do any better and after two months of that, we gave up again. School was now out but Gary hadn't missed finishing Grade 12. The school had come to its senses and let him finish his courses and write his tests online but he refused to go to the graduation ceremony let alone any parties.

Only one thing was going right in my life: I was exercising so much to relieve the stress that I lost a lot of weight. I hadn't been so light since my early thirties and was in much better shape but it was too good to last. I started getting headaches and pains all over my body. I stopped going to the gym but found another excuse to get out of the house: massages. They felt great and helped with the headaches but couldn't rid me of the constant aches that prevented me from exercising. However, one massage therapist, my third I think, recommended a solution.

"Jenny, I can't get a massage every time I want to exercise."

"Well no, I know that but you can get a body doll."

"A body doll?"

"Yeah," Jenny said. "I know it sounds stupid but several of my clients have tried it and they all swear by it."

"So, how does that work?"

"Well, you do exercises at home but before and after you do them, you massage the doll." She laughed as she ended, I guess realizing how silly it sounded.

"So how is massaging a doll supposed to make me feel better?"

"I know, sounds silly, doesn't it?"

I nodded.

"Well, the doll is supposed to be an image of you, so when you're massaging it, you're actually massaging yourself. It's based on the notion that you know best where you hurt and will subconsciously massage yourself in the right places and in the right way."

I was skeptical but went along for the ride. "So, where am I supposed to get a doll that's an image of me?"

Jenny laughed in a way that showed she was embarrassed about what she was going to say next. "Well, there's this old black woman that sells voodoo stuff. She makes personalized dolls."

"A voodoo doll? Am I supposed to stick pins in it?" I teased.

"Not unless you're a masochist," Jenny laughed. "Seriously, several of my clients have tried it and they say it really works."

"How much are these dolls?"

"I think they're about fifty bucks."

"And are there's a special exercises plan to go along with the doll?" I asked, smelling a sales pitch.

"No special exercises. Just do your regular routine. I'll show you some good ones to do at home and instead of stretching before and after, you massage the doll." Jenny tittered. "Then, if you feel better, you can start going back to the gym."

"Well, it's worth a shot," I sighed. "I'm starting to gain weight again."

So, on top of everything else, I started exercising at home and massaging a doll that looked like me. My life was a pit.
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*****​

I felt silly the first few times I massaged the doll but, strangely, I did feel better. Not only did the pain stop but the stress disappeared as well. I began feeling good about myself. I had lots of energy and I looked good, not only in the mirror but in the faces of men glancing my way a sure-fire measure of attractiveness.

My husband, however, hardly noticed which made me even more convinced that he was having an affair. Surprisingly, I didn't really care that much. It actually allowed me think clearly about what to do about Gary.

I didn't have any new ideas about how to solve my son's problem but I was no longer depressed about it. I was confident that I would come up with something. We had relied on the doctors and they had failed us, twice, so we had given up. I now knew that wasn't acceptable and, rather than convincing John, I decided to handle it on my own, as soon as I came up with a plan.

The solution came upon me by accident and, at first, I didn't recognize it for what it was. I was about to begin my exercise routine when Gary surprised me. I was sitting at the kitchen table, finishing my fruit bowl with one hand and absent mindedly massaging the doll with the other when Gary shuffled into the kitchen.

"Oh," he said, surprised. "I didn't know you were home."

Obviously, because he hadn't called for me to bring his lunch. It was well after one so he must have been starving.

I surprised myself by not jumping up to get him something to eat, which would have been my normal response. Instead, I said, "I'm about to start my exercises so you'll have to get yourself something."

Gary shuffled over to the counter and put some bread in the toaster, then got some peanut butter from the cupboard. He was wearing a pair of flannel pajamas that looked like he'd been wearing them for at least a week. I bit my lip.

I only had one slice of orange and two slices of peach left in the bowl when I realized that Gary was watching me. Of course... it was the doll. He had seen me exercising before but hadn't seen me massaging a doll, especially one that looked like me. It must have looked weird. I was about to explain, then thought better of it. Maybe a puzzle was just what his crippled mind needed.

I toyed with my food, cutting each slice in three. I studiously avoided looking at Gary so he could observe me without feeling self-conscious about it. He opened the fridge to get some jam, closed it, and walked slowly back to the toaster. I knew he was looking at me rather than where he was going. He was so fascinated by what I was doing, he bumped into the counter. Unconsciously, I rubbed the doll more slowly, just as I had slowed the pace of eating, as if they were part of the same process.

The toast popped up. Gary pushed it back down.

"Mom?"

"What dear?" I responded without looking up from what I was doing.

"Nothing," he mumbled.

I rubbed my thumb up the front of the doll, over its breasts, and back down. I couldn't see him directly but I knew his eyes were glued on what I was doing to the doll.

"Your toast is burning," I said a minute later.

"Oh shit."

Gary popped the toast up but rather than spreading his peanut butter and jam while he was at the counter, he put the toast on a plate and carried everything to the table. For months he had minimized contact with us and now here he was joining me at the table. Excitement surged through me.

Gary sat down and busied himself with his toast. I avoided eye contact, concentrating on massaging the doll, and I knew Gary was just as focused on it. I hadn't seen him pay so much attention to anything for months. I kept massaging the doll after I finished eating, which I had stretched out ridiculously long. Finally, I felt I could hardly justify carrying on so I got up, leaving the doll on the table, and put my bowl in the sink.

I walked behind Gary and stopped by the end of the table, before leaving the kitchen. I stretched, holding my arms above my head, tipped my head back and shook my hair, then arched my back and tensed my legs and buttocks. I told myself I needed to expel the thrill coursing through me, but in reality I was parading my new, buff body shamelessly in front of my son. Clad in a tight-fitting black leotard covered by a blue, swim-style, leopard-decorated suit, I knew I looked good and, subconsciously, I wanted confirmation that it was me and not the doll that my son found so fascinating.

"I feel great," I sighed.

What the hell was I doing? All I knew for sure was I didn't want Gary to go back upstairs. In the living room, I started my routine with a series of stretches, pausing in poses that weren't my regular stretch points. I kept my back to the kitchen but was aware when Gary got up to stand in the doorway to watch me. All I could think of was what to do next to keep him downstairs.

I bent over to touch my toes and managed to touch the floor many more times than I had before. I rose up with my legs still spread, tensing my thigh muscles and glutes, shook my hair and stretched sideways, sliding my hand down the outside of my leg, first the left, then the right, again and again. My ears were peaked, straining for signs that my son was still there, watching me.

When I turned around, he seemed startled but before he could escape, I said, "You can watch TV if you want. I won't be in the way."

Gary flushed red and ran up the stairs.

I wasn't disappointed. I was ecstatic!

This was the ticket. Nothing we had done, or the doctors had done, had drawn Gary out of his shell but we had all overlooked the obvious. Gary was a typical teenager, probably a virgin, and likely thought of little else than the pussy he craved but hadn't yet enjoyed. Even as a recluse, he was probably still interested in girls and I was the only one in the near vicinity. If I could activate his fantasies, despite being his mother, I could gradually use his teenage libido to lure him out into the real world where his lust could be transferred to a more appropriate target.

This was it. This was the plan that would save my son.
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****​

The next day, I made my lunch and waited for Gary to call out, determined to ignore him until he ventured downstairs to make himself something to eat. Long after lunch would have been ready, his bedroom door opened and I heard him shuffling down the stairs. I picked up the doll in my left hand, looked at the magazine I had spread on the table beside my bowl of fruit, and stabbed a slice of peach. I knew I looked good. I had warmed myself up with a short routine to bring color to my face and checked myself in the mirror to make sure the leotard made my legs look good, that the exercise suit didn't overly restrict my breasts, and that it molded nicely over my butt.

Gary poked his head around the corner. I rubbed my thumb up the front of the doll.

"Did I miss lunch?" he asked.

"You did," I said.

Gary didn't seem perturbed. Without complaint, he shuffled to the counter and put bread in the toaster, then turned and looked at me. I ignored him, delicately sliding a slice of peach between my lips and massaging the doll without a break. Gary watched in silence.

The scene was surreal. We were together yet apart. I dangled my crossed legs under the table, knowing my foot extended out the side toward Gary, drawing his attention to my carefully painted toes which had consumed almost an hour of my morning. Whiffs of perfume occasionally overpowered the fruity odor emanating from my bowl.

Gary's toast popped up and he pushed it down again. I picked up the peeled banana that I had laid on a side plate and slowly slid the tip into my mouth and just as cautiously bit off the end. I chewed slowly, constantly rubbing the doll with my thumb. I was halfway through the banana when the toast popped up again. Only then did Gary get the margarine and jam from the fridge.

At the table, he buttered his toast as I used one finger to poke the rest of the banana deep into my mouth. My thumb slipped down over the doll's torso and rubbed its thighs, brushing up and onto the suit it wore that matched my own, the proud result of an hour's sewing the night before. I turned the page of the magazine, my thumb resting on the doll's pelvis, not quite still. Gary spread jam on his toast, slowly, as if he needed to stay in time with me.

I finished my fruit at the same time that the first slice of toast had disappeared. While Gary began spreading margarine on the next slice, I got up, put my bowl and plate in the sink, then sauntered out of the kitchen. I stopped before the doorway and stretched as I had done the day before but for longer and in an even more exaggerated pose. The only sound I made was a long, satisfied sigh.

I went into the living room. My fingers had barely touched the floor when Gary's body blocked the light from the kitchen. I looked between my legs to verify his presence in the doorway. He was leaning against the jamb with a slice of toast in one hand. He didn't say a word.

I pulled myself up and touched the fingers of my right hand to the floor in front of my left foot, holding it in an extended stretch. Rising slowly, I arched my back before doing the same with my left hand and right foot, conscious of my right cheek thrusting toward the left under the leotard. Rising again, I touched the floor between my open legs, stretching down until my palms grazed the carpet, knowing that the swollen area between my legs was wantonly pouting, begging to escape the confines of the leotard. Joan, you hussy, I reprimanded myself. But it's for a good cause," I replied.

I repeated that routine many times. After a while, not hearing a sound from Gary except an occasional munch on toast, I rose up and started sliding my palm seductively down the outside of my left leg, then the right. I carried that on for another several minutes. I pretended I didn't know Gary was there.

I straightened and paused, trying to think of what I could say when I turned around and pretended to see him. What could I say that would stop him from running upstairs? I can't describe the thrill that flooded my chest when he walked past me and sat down on far end of the couch, then picked up the remote. He forgot for a moment to turn the TV on. I felt like running outside and screaming in delight. It's going to work!

I was facing Gary now but turned around to face the TV so he could continue to watch me unobserved. Several times, I stretched a leg up, like I used to do in ballet class, grabbed an ankle and held my foot by my head. I felt terribly guilty holding this pose that couldn't help but fill the male mind with awe at how wide a woman can open her legs. I hadn't done it since my first boyfriend came to pick me up after class and watched me through the waiting area window, a trick I had learned from Hayley, who used to tease the other girls' fathers waiting for their daughters, an act that made her quite unpopular with the girls if not the men. I knew exactly what I was doing.

My back wasn't directly facing Gary. By looking at the TV, I was facing about thirty degrees off directly away from him, far enough that I couldn't see him so he could safely watch, but enough to show the profile of my left breast from behind. I stretched my other leg up and hugged it to myself, then bent over to touch the floor again, bouncing my palms onto the rug, thrilled with my brilliance. On the first touch, I peeked through my legs and saw Gary gawking at my ass.

This was definitely going to work!

I was careful not to peek again. Gary had to be able to safely watch, comfortable in the knowledge that I was facing away. I concentrated on doing my regular routine so I didn't blow it by being awkward or self-conscious. On the floor, I twisted so I could watch the TV to increase Gary's confidence that I wouldn't suddenly look his way. When I pulled my knees up to my chin, I held them there much longer than usual, keeping the leotard stretched tightly over my bum. I turned onto my left side to scissor my legs and when I did the right, I switched head and feet so I could keep facing the TV. I scissored my legs until I couldn't lift them anymore.

Despite the show, I was surprised Gary didn't bolt for his room until I remembered the pajamas he was wearing. He probably had an erection and was afraid to run past me in case I saw it. I smiled, amused and pleased by the thought of my son sitting on the couch behind me with a bit hardon. It's for a good cause, I reminded myself.

I gave Gary lots of warning before I got up and joined him on the couch by walking into the kitchen first to retrieve the doll. His hands were resting on a pillow strategically placed on his lap when I returned. I almost burst out laughing but managed to turn it into a coughing fit.
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