Adultery Knowing My Wife, Knowing Me as Well

"Like what if I was there with you? I would have helped you from that loneliness and darkness."
"This is not a place to receive such help anyway," I said. "Meera will be here soon."
"Meera is with Piyush. How come you're not worried about it?" she asked.
"Why would I be worried about them?"
"Are you sure he is not like Desai?"
"Now you're overthinking. I know Piyush very well." I defended. "I’m rather worried about Vaikha."
"Yeah, right! Desai's latest one-night stand. I think she is going to have a blast tonight. It’s her night."
Maithrei’s voice was filled with excitement. I laughed too.
"Yeah, someone else scored tonight."

But it was far from true. I learned it when Piyush phoned me and asked if Meera got home. I was surprised.
“Wasn’t she with you?”
“Yeah, but she left with Desai. He said he would drop her home.”
I wondered how Desai came into the picture. Wasn’t he busy seducing another married woman?
But I didn’t feel anything wrong in Meera leaving with Desai because Vaikha was supposed to be with them.
“Okay, that’s great.” I said, “What about you? Have you reached your place?”
“Yeah, Vaikha dropped me at my hotel. We were staying in nearby hotels, so we felt it would be convenient.”
His revelation set off an alarm in my head, and I stood up. But before I could worry, I heard the doorbell. They are here!
Desai and Meera are here!

My mind scrambled for action, and an instant desire to see how they would behave in my absence filled my head. I looked around for a place to hide.
Bathroom? No. Behind the curtain? Never. Shelf? Yes? Which one?

Even as I consciously and frantically searched for a hiding spot, a deep, instinctual part of my subconscious mind warned me that something terrible was about to happen. I couldn’t explain it scientifically, but from my experience of living through similar moments many times before, I knew I wasn’t wrong.
And it was terrifying.

My eyes suddenly fell on my large clothing shelf. It had enough space for me to hide, and the chance of Meera opening it was slim. For a moment, I wondered if there was any chance of Meera knowing that I was already home. When I was talking to her on the phone, we had only spoken about her whereabouts. I hadn’t told her where I was. She was probably expecting me to be home; her ringing the doorbell suggested that. However, she would be easily convinced otherwise if I did not open it.

I thought the odds were in my favor.
I decided quickly and moved to open the door of the shelf. There was enough space for me to hide behind the clothes on the hangers. I looked back to check if I had left any evidence of my presence. I saw my shoes lying on the floor, quickly grabbed them, and rearranged Meera's clothes that I had touched while sleeping on the bed earlier. I hurried back to quietly slip inside the shelf. As I slowly closed the door and immersed myself in complete darkness, I heard the front door opening. I could literally hear my heartbeat, but I concentrated all my senses on any sound coming from the hall.
There was no spoken voice. A few seconds later, I heard someone walking into the room. Although there were no spoken words, I could tell it was Meera from her movements. The light in the room was switched on soon after. I suddenly realized that she would soon call me, and I would be caught when my phone rang. I quickly pulled out my phone and put it on airplane mode.

Meera's phone started ringing after a while. I peeped through the gap between the shelf doors. Meera glanced around and answered the phone quickly. She stood in front of her dressing mirror and placed the phone down on the dressing table.
“Meera…” I heard Desai's voice from the phone. The call was on speaker.
“Hello,” Meera said in a calm voice as she began to slowly remove her earrings.
“I was checking if everything’s fine, all safe.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. But Krish isn't home, and his phone is not reachable,” Meera replied, her voice carrying some curiosity.
“Isn’t he?” Desai asked. “Maybe he got busy with Maithrei, told you already.”
“Ha ha.” Meera giggled casually as she finished removing one earring and started on the other. “What about Maithrei’s family? They must also be there, aren’t they?”
"Think about it, Meera. They could have gone somewhere else too.”
Meera paused. "You really think so?"
"Why not?" Desai replied. "They could have decided to spend some time together. It would explain why Krish’s phone is off."
Meera smiled again. “Well, I guess you have a point,” and then she began to unfasten her necklace. She knew Desai was trying to trick her.
“Should I come back, Meera?” he asked after a momentary pause.
My senses became extra cautious at his question.
“Why?” Meera asked.

Desai’s response was smooth and suggestive. "I think we might never have another opportunity like this in the near future. I want to talk to you."
"About what?"
"Hey…” Desai's voice was soft. “I’m sure you have noticed my eyes… you know how I was dying to stare into your eyes, Meera… I miss seeing the shine in them. Don’t you miss me?”
“Susheel…” Meera’s voice took on a tone of caution. “What are you saying?”
“I… I haven’t left. I can come back.”
“Susheel, no.” Meera said quickly, looking at the phone. “Just leave.”
“Come on, Meera. Can’t you just let me see you?”

“Oh…” Meera sighed. “Susheel… are you even thinking about what you’re saying? Please… go.”
Meera was pleading. I felt a jolt of shock as the tone of their conversation changed in a few seconds. My heart raced, and I felt I was going to witness something I was unprepared for. I struggled to keep my breathing quiet.
“Should I leave?” Desai asked again.
Meera turned away from the mirror and leaned back onto the dressing table. I could see how shaken her psyche was with uncertainty.
"What if Krish comes back?" Meera asked. “It won’t be a nice meeting; I’m warning you.”
Why isn’t she asking him to leave?
"I'll leave before he comes.”
"Susheel…” Meera's voice trembled. “You are definitely scheming. It’s not going to end well.”
"I just want to see you," Desai insisted.
"Oh my God, my heart is already beating hard," Meera confessed nervously. "Are you sure? You’re not planning something stupid, are you?"
"Just a few seconds. Let me talk to my driver, and I'm coming back," Desai reassured her.
"I’m scared, Desai. What if we end up doing something wrong?"
Desai’s voice was calm and reassuring. "Are you still concerned about what is right and wrong, Meera? Ask your heart and listen to what it says."
“I’m not going to cheat on him. Let me make that clear.”
"You’re worrying too much, babe.” Desai said. "See you in a minute."
The call was disconnected.

I was stunned as if lightning had struck me.
What are they scheming? What has suddenly happened? What are they planning? Is it even real? Am I dreaming all this?

It was real. As soon as the call ended, Meera hurriedly moved to grab her clothes from the bed and stuffed them into a drawer. She closed the half-open drawer of the wardrobe and also pulled the bed sheet on the bed to remove its wrinkles. Then, she turned to face the mirror, as if to ensure she still looked her best. She was preparing to welcome Desai back into her house.
I had definitely heard her saying no to him. But the way her voice was breaking and the way she was suddenly becoming conscious of herself and the surroundings together told me that she was preparing for his return!

Saying that I was shocked doesn’t even begin to cover what I was experiencing. It was unlike anything I’d seen in a long time.
Is my wife about to betray me? And without giving me any hints?
The realization that this betrayal came at a time when I thought I had everything under control only amplified its impact. There was no seduction, no romance, no teasing. She was putting up signs of resistance and refusal, but I could see clearly that even she was aware she wasn’t doing it wholeheartedly. A part of her wanted to see where this would go. Another part of her wanted to see where it would take her. Just an opportunity and a small push – that was enough for her to falter, I felt. The sound of Meera's hurried movements and her nervous excitement made my heart pound with a mix of fear and frustration.

As Meera finished arranging the room, she looked back at the bed and then hurried to the hall. I sat inside the shelf, backing off from peeping through the small gap in the shelf door. The seconds seemed to stretch endlessly as I waited in that darkness, trying to make sense of the chaos unfolding before me.

I heard the front door opening and closing. I opened the shelf door slightly so I could hear the voices coming from the hall. Luckily, Meera had left the bedroom door open; the sounds from the hall were audible to me.
“Never thought I would be walking this door again!” I heard Desai's voice. I could sense his excitement from his voice.
“What is it that you want to talk about, Susheel? Can’t you just call me later? You never call me, by the way.” I heard Meera's words, filled with a pang of anger. I felt she was pretending to be angry.

“Meera, I didn’t know it would be so tough to walk away,” Desai's voice was slow.
“You will have to walk away. Krish will be here any minute.”
“Meera, I have asked my driver to watch the gate. He’ll call me if he sees someone enter the building.”
Desai's assurance struck me like lightning. He had come prepared.
“I’m not convinced.”
“Okay, then, call Krish. At least confirm where he is before you start panicking, Meera,” Desai said.

I heard footsteps approaching the room, and I became alert. I pulled back the shelf door, leaving just enough of a gap between the doors to see through.

Meera picked up her phone from the dressing table and dialed a number—apparently mine. The call, of course, went unanswered, and as she placed the phone down, I saw Desai walking up behind her.

Meera turned to him. “Still out of network!”
“My gut feeling is saying he’s already busy with Maithrei,” Desai said.
“Your gut feeling can only say that!” Meera looked him in the eyes. “Susheel, you think only the way you can think. Come on; let’s go sit in the hall. I’m not feeling safe here with you.” She said this with a light-hearted giggle. She moved to pass Desai, but he deliberately blocked her path.
“Do you enjoy feeling safe all the time?” he asked.
Meera sighed. “Susheel… we have moved on, haven’t we?”

“Have we?” Desai's voice was filled with an intensity that made Meera look up, her eyes meeting his.
“Oh, Susheel…” Meera's voice was barely audible. The only reason it was audible was that it was night-time and there was silence everywhere.
“Meera, I can’t go back. I have missed you more than I ever imagined. Meera, I came to leave, but my heart won’t let me. I miss you so much, Meera. There’s no way I can leave like this and breathe like a living human.”
Desai was not the confident business tycoon I had last met a few hours ago; he was a man broken inside from longing.
“Susheel… this is over,” Meera was still trying to turn him back.
“I know it is over. But please stay with me for now.”
“This is wrong… this is not going to end well. You’re putting me in a situation I…” Meera was struggling to speak. “Susheel…”
Desai had a reply to calm her down. "It’s not a path we haven’t walked before.” He moved forward and slowly grabbed her hand. “We’ve shared so much. Trust your feelings."
I saw Meera hesitating, but she didn’t pull her hand back.
"But this feels different," she said, her voice trembling.
"Listen to your heart, Meera. What does it say? Didn’t you miss me?" Desai's voice was so soft that only my heightened sense of hearing made it audible now.

"My heart says I’m messed up, nothing else," Meera admitted.
“Meera, I know you don’t hate me. I can see it in your eyes, baby. I saw it the moment I saw you today.”
There was no reply from Meera. Her eyes dropped to the floor. She must be wondering what to say to make him turn away.
“Meera… look at me… please… give me your eyes at least…” I heard Desai say. It felt like a mumble.
“Susheel, we shouldn’t be here. We don’t want to cheat, do we?”
“Meera, we're not doing anything new. I'm sure Krish wouldn't stop us if he were here. He would enjoy it instead. Then why not us?”
“But he's not here.”
“Because he could be busy with someone else.”
“What if you are wrong?”
“I'm just saying, baby. But we're not here because of them. We’re here because of us. We wanted to meet. We are meeting. We wanted to catch up. We are catching up. We wanted to find the fire. We're finding it. Baby, look at me.” Desai stood close and gently lifted her face with his fingers under her chin. “Don't lose this moment.”
And then he kissed her!

To say I was stunned or shocked would be an understatement. The kiss seemed to suddenly calm Meera; or she appeared too stunned to react. Desai's mouth had sealed over hers, and he didn’t seem satisfied with merely tasting her lips. I saw his jaw moving as he sucked on her lips, and his body pressed closer, erasing the gap between them. His arms soon wrapped around her: his left arm traced her back upward, finding a spot behind her neck, while his right arm encircled her just above her love handles, pulling her stomach toward him. In other words, he had my wife in his arms.
I felt a strong temptation to fling open the shelf door and step out. Should I scream at them? “What are you doing? Meera? Desai?”

But no part of my body believed I could do that. I had become a statue, breathing at a pace that ensured what was happening in that room would not be interrupted by me. More than what I thought or believed, I wanted to see what would happen next. It was the first opportunity to watch Desai and Meera behave freely and truly become themselves in each other's company.

My breath was shallow, and my heart pounded loudly in my ears. The darkness inside the shelf was suffocating, but the tiny sliver of light through the gap allowed me to see just enough. My heart nearly stopped as I saw them slowly moving toward the bed. No, it was Desai trying to move her there!
“Susheel… no…” Meera put her arms between them and tried to push him away. This brought me a sense of relief, though I was surprised to see her resisting. I had clearly seen her surrender to his kiss just a few seconds before.
“Meera, I’m not forcing you, am I?” Desai asked. He had stepped back but still clung to her arms.

Meera looked straight into his eyes. “What’s on your mind, Susheel?”
“Baby, we won’t be seeing each other anytime soon.”
“Susheel…” Meera sighed, continuing to stare at him.
“Meera, how can you let me go?” Desai whispered.
“You should find someone else.”
“No, I only need you in my life.”
“Until I frustrate you, isn’t it?”
“You’re talking about Nidhi, aren’t you? Meera, that day I decided I should let you go and move on. But now I can’t. I’ve tried and failed to move on. I can’t, baby.”
Meera's eyes brightened in a way that frightened me. He was opening up his feelings, and she seemed to like it. For me, it was terrifying. Meera's next words, however, brought me some relief.
“You know I have a husband who will never leave me.”
“But I also know I can coexist with him.”
Meera smiled and patted his cheek, a gesture that seemed like a soft slap across his face. “He is a changed man, now. And I have no desire to go back.”
Desai smiled back at her, “Then don’t tell him.”

As they spoke, Desai’s right hand slowly traced her left arm to her shoulder, then moved up to her neck and then to her chin, and finally touched her lips. He gently squeezed her lower lip, and Meera seemed to enjoy his touch.
“Didn’t you miss my touch, honey?”
Desai leaned in again, his face coming a few inches away from hers.
“Please… listen to me, Susheel …” Meera pled, her voice trembling. But she didn’t pull back, and I knew a part of her heart was just waiting to be kissed again.
Desai knew it better than I did. His palm slipped under her ear, pulling her closer as he sealed her lips with his once more. This time, he tilted his head slightly, making the kiss even more intense than before. As their kiss deepened, Desai guided her other hand around him, wrapping it around his torso. She passively obliged, nullifying all the resistance she made until that moment.

The sight of my wife in Desai's arms, surrendering to his kisses with such intensity, was something I thought I would never witness again. At one point in my life, this had been a fantasy I longed to watch. After a brief struggle, I had corrected myself and done everything in my capacity to avoid such a scenario. But my fate had other ideas.
Now, I was left to watch this, especially after I had believed my wife was appreciating the new life, without my kinky fantasies. She had revealed a side of herself I never expected, engaging in infidelity with a confidence that I had no involvement in this act, making the impact of her actions even more devastating. I could feel my pulse quicken and my stomach churn as I continued to watch in disbelief.

As the intensity of Desai's kiss heightened, his way of expressing his desire also changed. His lips moved away from her mouth, landing non-stop kisses across her face before plunging to her neck. Meera’s breathing grew heavier, and she was forced to lift her chin to give in to his relentless enthusiasm. I watched on as his tongue made a swift pass at the base of her neck, followed by his lips wiping away his saliva from her skin. He returned to her lips, only to shift back to kiss and lick along her bare shoulder. The effects of their long separation and the frustration that came with it were evident in the intensity with which he showered her with his passion. To my astonishment, Meera seemed to genuinely enjoy it. The off-shoulder gown she was wearing seemed to make his advances all too easy. I felt he might tear it off at any moment.

I could tell that Desai had succeeded in arousing her, and what followed next was exactly what I had been dreading all along. Desai slowly moved backward without letting her go, guiding her toward the bed. My heart ached as I saw Meera’s feet follow him, still lost in the relentless kissing. At the same time, a warm sense of anticipation surged through my body, bracing me for what was about to unfold. It was a sensation I knew I could never escape.

Meera's arms were wrapped around Desai's torso, clinging to him as they moved. Desai's right hand was gently encircling her neck, drawing her closer with each step they took toward the bed. His left hand rested on her back, and they both appeared lost in the fervour of their kiss, oblivious to everything but each other.

They reached the bed, and Meera showed the sign on resistance again, lending me a ray of hope.
“No, Susheel… let’s not go there.”
“Meera… Don’t tell me to leave.”
“Listen, Susheel…” Meera argued, “You came just to talk.”
“We are talking.”

“Huh!” Meera sighed. “This is not what…” She turned her head away. But quickly looked back at him. “You are making me weak, you know?”
“You’re pretending not to see what you’ve done to me, Meera...”
“I know you are good with words.”
“Is that the only thing that you know of me?”
Meera stared at him, and laughed a little, despite all the anger she had been trying to show to him. “Fuck you, Susheel.” She blurted. Her facial expression told me that she enjoyed what she heard. Perhaps he had reminded her of all the good moments they had shared in the past.
Desai grabbed her with his both hands.
“I’d like to hear it again, yes,” he said.
Meera didn’t say anything. To be more precise, she couldn’t; because Desai's mouth had again sealed her lips. And I saw her arms making a circle around him again. I was watching from behind Desai, but I could tell that they were eating each other’s lips.
It didn’t take long before Desai pushed Meera toward the bed behind her, and Meera suddenly became aware of what just happened.
She jumped to stand up again, “No, Susheel, no.”
Desai didn’t give her room to move away from the bed, though.
“What no, my love?”

He asked playfully, and held her hip firmly.
“There is no time, please understand.” Meera pled.
“Means lack of time is the matter of your concern.”
“Everything is my concern, Romeo!”
“Then make my heart your concern, for now,” Desai said and kissed her again. I saw his arms sliding around her, gently caressing the sides of her hips, pulling her closer. He then pushed her again and Meera ended up gently lowering herself onto the bed behind her, pulling him with her. Desai leaned forward to make sure their lips never parted; and their bodies seemed to be in perfect sync. Desai put his left knee on the edge of the bed and bent forward to keep kissing her while cupping his palms around her face. I could hear them breathing hard. Meera leaned backward but didn’t lie down on the bed. She put her arms around Desai's thighs to stay in that position. Desai moved downward to her neck and then to her breasts, over the clothes. His hands reached behind her and apparently pulled down the zipper of her light blue gown. Meera arched further back, and I could see the gown slipping off her body, revealing more of her smooth skin and the strapless bra she wore underneath.

Desai supported her body by putting his hands under her back and then lowered his face into the abundance of her softness.
“God forgive me,” I heard Meera whisper. I saw Desai's hand moving behind back; to unhook her bra to free her breasts. Meera did not know it immediately, and as soon as she felt the looseness of her bra, she grabbed the bra cups with her one hand, and tried to keep it in place.
“Susheel…” her voice was filled with uncertainty.
“Show me, Meera. Let me see it, baby.” Desai said and pulled it away from her. I couldn’t see it because my view was blocked by Desai's back, but I knew it as I saw him pulling the bra out and discarding it on the bed. Desai then lowered her body onto the bed, and I saw him move his right hand onto her chest and lower his head to the left side of her chest. He sucked her left breast while caressing the right breast with his right hand.
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