Adultery Knowing My Wife, Knowing Me as Well

When I reached home that evening, the weight of the day hung heavy on my shoulders. The exhaustion from the whole day’s events was pressing down on me. But as soon as I stepped inside, I knew something was wrong.
Meera was sitting on the couch, her face buried in her hands, her body trembling.
"Meera?" I called softly, my voice laced with concern.
She looked up slowly, her eyes red and swollen. It was clear she had been crying for hours. Her lips quivered as if she wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come.
I sat with her, my heart already pounding in my chest. "What happened?"
For a long moment, she just stared at me, her expression a mix of guilt and pain. Then, in a voice so soft I almost didn’t hear it, she whispered, "I met him."

There she was. I didn’t need to ask who she meant.
"At Alpine Heights," she continued, her voice trembling. "I... I slept with him."
For a moment, I didn’t move. I just stood there, trying to guess what made her confess.
It was nothing like what I had feared earlier in the day. I had feared that she would confess to me to make me attracted to the idea. But here, I saw a woman who was deeply in pain, in remorse. Her tears were real, just like the night after the concert.
I remembered how she had told Desai she wanted to confess to me but was scared of it. I felt she was confessing for her, not for Desai.
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked. My voice was cold. "Why not keep it to yourself?"
She shook her head, tears filling her eyes again. "I couldn’t. I couldn’t hide it from you, Krish. I felt guilty. I had to tell you."
I exhaled sharply, fully knowing the futility of her confession. I wanted to scream, to shout, but I didn’t. "And now?" I asked, my voice quieter. "Do you feel any better?"

"No," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I feel worse."
And then she broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. Her cries were so raw, so filled with regret, that it almost seemed like the world was crumbling around me.
"I love you, Krish," she sobbed, her voice muffled by her hands. "I love you so much. I want to promise I don’t want to do this again. I’m sorry."
Her words cut deep, a mix of guilt and vulnerability that twisted inside me. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her everything would be okay, but I knew it wouldn’t be.
"I’m sorry," she cried, her voice shaking. "I’m sorry for everything. For being distant, for questioning your proposal about having children... I was wrong, Krish. So wrong... I... Krish, I want to be the mother of your child," she said through her tears, her voice full of desperation. "I want us to have a child, Krish. I want us to move forward, to leave everything behind... just be us."
Her hand reached for mine, trembling as it touched my skin. Her eyes searched mine, pleading for something – anything. Forgiveness, maybe, or just an answer.

But at the same time, a chilling thought suddenly surfaced – an unsettling possibility that I immediately wished to push away.
Could there be something worse than this?
I replayed the events at Alpine Heights in my mind, her gaze locked on Desai, her body and mind seemingly consumed by him. Then, a memory from those moments resurfaced – a moment when she had asked him to give her a child. At the time, I had dismissed it as nothing more than roleplay, a fantasy in the heat of the moment. But now, as I sat here, hearing her talk about wanting our child, doubt began to creep in.
What if she hadn’t taken the pill? What if...
My fists clenched involuntarily, my nails digging into my palms. I hated myself for even letting the thought take root, but it wouldn’t leave me.
“Did you take the pill after... after you were with Desai?”
I asked. Meera’s expression froze. Her tears stopped mid-flow, her eyes widening in shock. For a moment, she looked as if I had struck her.
“What?”

“You heard me,” I said, my voice steadier than I felt. “Did you take the pill after you had sex with him?”
She blinked rapidly, as if trying to process the question. Then, she nodded. “Yes,” she said. “I took the pill.”
I thought her answer would give me relief. But instead, the fact that I had to ask this question, that this doubt had even taken root in my mind, felt like a wound that might never heal.
Meera looked at me, her eyes pleading. “Krish, I wouldn’t...” she started, her voice faltering. “I wouldn’t do that.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. The distance between us, once just a subtle rift, suddenly felt far wider.
Meera took a deep breath, as if gathering courage. “When I said I wanted a child, I meant our child, Krish. Yours and mine.”

For a moment, I forced myself to believe her words. I felt the tension in my shoulders easing slightly, and a flicker of hope igniting within me. I wanted to lose myself in the idea that we could start over, that the wounds we had inflicted on each other could somehow heal.
But then, like a reflex, reality snapped back into focus. The weight of everything we had done, everything we had become, was too much to ignore.
I took a deep breath, pulling my hand away from hers. “Meera,” I began, my voice steady but heavy. “We can’t stop this now.”
“What?” Meera stared at me. “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice broken.
“Like you, I have a secret to share,” I said, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “I’ve been holding this in for too long, and it’s time you knew.”
Her expression froze, and after taking a deep breath, I spoke.

“I had sex with Maithrei,” I said, my voice calm but deliberate. “It happened weeks ago.”
Meera stared at me for a few seconds, as if trying to figure out whether I was just making it up. Then she asked, “When? And how?”
“It was after you slept with Desai, on the night of Ritu's wedding,” I said, my voice rough with the weight of the confession. “I was frustrated, angry, hurt. And then… I ran into Maithrei. One thing led to another, and we ended up in my car. We had sex.”
Meera stared at me, her face pale, her eyes wide with disbelief. “In your car?” she repeated.
“Yes,” I said, gathering the courage to be more honest. “And to be honest, it was a satisfying experience. It gave me an outlet for everything I was feeling at the time.”
“Did you meet her again?”
“No,” I said truthfully. “But I can’t say it won’t happen again. Because today, when I found out that you and Desai were meeting at Alpine Heights, I was frustrated. That frustration… it almost led me to have sex with Nidhi.”
Her hand flew to her mouth, stifling a gasp. “Nidhi?” she whispered, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. But then, the realization hit her, and her eyes filled with another kind of horror. “You knew?” she asked, disbelief dripping from her words. “You knew about Desai and me at Alpine Heights?”
I nodded. “I knew,” I said. “Two days ago, you left your laptop here, and I saw your chat with him, planning the meeting, before you deleted the chat history. I’ve known all along.”

Meera was stunned. She grabbed the armrest of the couch for support. The silence that followed was deafening, filled only with the sound of her shallow breaths and the ticking of the clock, counting down the moments of our unraveling.
I drew in a shaky breath, gathering the courage to say what I knew I had to.
“And Meera,” I said, “After today, I’ve decided that we need to part ways. For both our sakes.”
She was on the verge of crying again as soon as she heard me. “Krish, no – ”
“I’ve made my decision,” I interrupted, repeating myself. “We need to part ways. For both our sakes.”
“No,” Meera shook her head, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. Her voice broke as she spoke further, “Don’t make that decision, Krish. Please.”
Her tears came harder now, her shoulders slumping as she buried her face in her hands. “I know I’ve hurt you,” she sobbed. “And I know your reasons make sense. But… I don’t want to leave you. I love you, Krish. I love you more than anything.”
Her tears were making me soft. But I knew this was the right decision – the only way to move forward.
“Meera, I believe you. I believe you love me. But love isn’t always enough. Desai loves you too, and he’s better suited for you. He’s the man who can give you everything you want.”

She looked up at me. “Don’t say that,” she cried, shaking her head. “You’re wrong. I don’t want Desai. I want you.”
“Meera, Desai is a changed man. I’ve seen it. He can give you the happiness and freedom you need – the kind of life I haven’t been able to offer.”
“I don’t care about any of that!” she exclaimed. “I care about you. About us.”
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to hold my ground. “Desai can offer you everything, Meera. He’s the one who truly deserves to be your man. Not me.”
“You’re wrong. You’re so, so wrong. There’s no one else for me, Krish. I don’t want a life with Desai. I want a life with you.”
“Meera, you need to open your eyes and see the truth,” I said firmly. “Our life together has hit rock bottom. Your body and your mind – they’re craving Desai. You want more of him. Don’t deny it.”
“That’s not true; you’re the one I want. You’ve always been the one I’ve wanted. Desai was… he was just a game. A game that we played together, wasn’t it?”

“Meera, you’re lying to yourself. I’ve seen how he makes you feel. I’ve heard it. You don’t need to pretend for my sake. Just go to him.”
“Krish, tell me the real reason. Why are you suddenly leaving me? I’ve slept with many men in the past. With and without your permission. Ashish, remember him? You didn’t have this much of a problem back then. But now, you’ve jumped to this decision without even talking to me? Why, Krish? Why are you doing this? Is it because of Maithrei? Fine! You slept with her! I don’t care! I just don’t care anymore!”
“It’s not about Maithrei, and you know it.”
“What do I know?”
“Everything changed since the night of the concert, Meera. I heard your conversation with Desai. The way you enjoyed… I mean, the way he’s given you pleasure… your bond. I can’t replicate that. I can’t match that.”
“But that was months ago. We’ve talked about how he forced me and how I was lured by the memories of our past. But you’re holding on to something that happened months ago?”
"It wasn’t just that night," I pressed, my voice growing firmer. "The night of Ritu’s wedding, when you went to his room – I had bugged that room, Meera. I heard every word you said to him."

She stared at me.
“I had a feeling that you would do that. But I wasn’t sure.”
“You didn’t know it when you were having sex. Your emotion was honest. From that night, I knew you’d love to do it again.”
“But you had masturbated that night, probably listening to the sounds. You were excited. If you have a problem, you should’ve told me to stop. But you can’t stop yourself – that’s the truth,” she said bitterly.
“Yes, I can’t stop. This is me now trying to stop,” I said.
“Is this another experiment of yours? We’ve tried to separate already, Krish.”
“But this time it’s different. Your heart belongs to someone else. It doesn’t belong to me anymore.”
“You’re fucking wrong,” she cried, her voice cracking. “You’re so, so wrong. There’s no one else for me, Krish. I don’t want a life with Desai. I want a life with you.”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady the storm raging inside me. “Meera, I wish I could believe that. But I can’t. Not after everything I’ve seen and heard. The way you laugh with him, the way you light up around him... I’ve never seen you like that with me. And I can’t live with the doubt anymore. I can’t live with the ghost of him in our marriage.”

“I don’t care about him!” she shouted. “I care about you! About us! Desai was... he was a game that we played. We agreed to play because we both liked the game. Now, if you want to stop, then let’s stop it. We can draw lines… we can keep him away. Please…”
I looked at her, my heart breaking all over again. “But today, you met him secretly; you even wanted to hide it from me. I don’t know what changed afterward, but why did you hide it from me in the first place?”
“Because... I didn’t want you to be excited about it.”
“And now? You wanted me to be excited about it? Is this part of a plan that you made with him?”
“I confessed because after it happened, I felt bad. I felt like I stabbed you in the back.”
“Meera, leave the confession part. It happened because of a reason. Let’s not deviate from that. You can’t deny it, the truth. You wanted him. You still want him.”

Meera shook her head and covered her face with her palms. She was crying again. She leaned forward and dropped to the floor, her knees giving way beneath her. “I can’t believe this is happening,” she whispered. “How did I not see this? How did I not know this much was happening around me?”
I knelt in front of her. “Because you didn’t want to see it. Neither of us did. But we can’t keep pretending, Meera. You and Desai... you bring out something in each other that I never could. And honestly, I can’t stop my own messed-up fantasies either. If we want peace, a real chance at happiness, we have to let this go.”
She looked up at me, her tear-streaked face filled with anguish. “I don’t want this,” she shouted. “I don’t want to lose you, Krish.”
I closed my eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat. “You already have.”
The words hung in the air, heavy and final. I stood up, feeling like the weight of the world was pressing down on my shoulders.

Meera sat there on the floor, her sobs echoing in the silence. The weight of her pain filled the room, pressing down on me like a vice. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her it would all be okay – but I couldn’t. Not this time.
After a long pause, she looked up at me. “So, that’s it, then? You’re giving up on us?”
“I’m not giving up,” I said quietly, “I’m choosing to let go. There’s a difference, Meera. Holding on to something broken – it’s killing both of us. And I don’t want to keep hurting you. Or myself.”
“You’re wrong, Krish. We can fix this! We can rebuild what we had. You don’t have to do this!”
She was on repeat mode.
“Rebuild?” I echoed bitterly. “With what, Meera? Lies? Secrets? The memory of you with him – those moments you shared – it’s etched into my mind. And I know I’ve failed you too. I’m no saint in this. But I can’t keep pretending this is something we can just patch up and move on from. Meera, I know you love me. But love isn’t always enough. You and I – we’ve been holding on to something that isn’t there anymore. And you can’t deny that part of you feels more alive with him. I’ve seen it. I’ve heard it in your voice when you talk to him.”

“Don’t say that. Please, Krish. You’re all I want. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
“You say that now, but I’ve seen the truth, Meera. You deserve to be happy. Truly happy. And I think Desai can give you that.”
“You’re just trying to push me away. You’re trying to make yourself the bad guy so you can feel less guilty about leaving!”
“I’m not trying to be the bad guy,” I said softly. “I’m trying to be honest. For once, I’m being honest with you – and with myself.”
I stood up and went on. “I’ve made the decision. And I’ve also decided that I’m handing over Vickey Security Services to Desai.”
“What? Why?”
“Because it was a gift from him.”
“No! Krish, that business is yours. You worked for it. You built it. You can’t just give it away like that!”
“But it came from him,” I replied, turning to face her. “And I don’t want anything that ties me to him – or to you. I’m done.”
She stared at me, her expression a mix of shock and devastation. “You’re throwing everything away,” she whispered. “Not just us – everything you’ve worked for.”
“Maybe I am,” I admitted. “But it’s the only way I can move forward. I need to start over, Meera. And so do you.”
She didn’t respond, her tears falling silently now. I knew there was nothing left to say, nothing that could make this any easier for either of us.
The silence stretched between us, heavy and suffocating. Finally, I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper. “Prepare yourself for the goodbye, Meera. That’s all I can tell you now.”

That night, there was no resolution to our argument. We shared the same bed, but the distance between us was wider than ever. We both knew we were in need of help, but neither of us reached for the other. We lay there in the darkness.
In the morning, as I opened my eyes, I found Meera standing by the bedside, a cup of steaming coffee in her hand. Her face was drawn, her eyes puffy, but there was a softness in her gaze, a vulnerability that pulled at my heart.
"Morning, Krish," she said quietly, holding the cup out to me.
I took it, sitting up slowly.
"I want to apologize again, Krish," she said, her voice trembling. "I know I’ve hurt you deeply, and I’m so sorry."
"Meera," I struggled to make myself audible. "You need to see the reality. We can't continue to live like this. Our life together has hit rock bottom. You crave him, Meera. Your body, your mind – they crave him. Don't deny it."
"Are you angry because I met Desai without telling you?" she asked.
"Yes," I admitted, "I was angry. But this incident proved something else too – that you need some freedom."
"Freedom?" she looked at me.

I nodded. "You wanted to go to Alpine Heights with Desai, and you didn’t feel the need to tell me. You even went as far as deleting the chats. That says something, doesn't it? And what about when I spied on your WhatsApp chat? Didn’t that make you angry?"
She shook her head, her voice barely a whisper. "I have no right to be angry," she said softly.
"Didn't you feel the need for freedom?" I pressed. "If not, then why didn’t you tell me when Desai proposed the meeting?"
Meera hesitated, her lips trembling. Finally, she said, "Yes, I didn’t want you to know about it. When Desai proposed the meeting, I was... excited. Especially that morning when I woke up. I was thinking about him. I wanted to be in his bed, Krish. I wanted to be treated the way he treats me in bed."
The confession was raw and unfiltered, breaking through the walls she had built around her desires. A truth that terrified and intrigued me, all at once. I could see it in her eyes – she wasn’t holding anything back now, speaking from the very core of her feelings. "But," she continued, her voice trembling, "That doesn’t mean I love him. I wanted to have sex with you too.”

"Do you really not have any feelings for Desai?" I asked, struggling to contain my own emotions.
"Is that what you believe?” she responded, looking up at me.
"I believe you're drawn to him. He excites you. He challenges you. He brings out a side of you that you've never shown me."
She shook her head. "No, Krish. You're wrong. You're so, so wrong. He's just... different. Exciting. But it’s not love. It’s not the way I feel about you. You know, whatever I have in me, this feeling you're talking about, I can let go of that, if you can let go of him. That’s what drew me forward. If I was with him, it was because of you, Krish. We had stopped, hadn’t we? Then you brought him back. Not suddenly, but little by little. Inch by inch. Slowly working on your fantasies. I’m your partner not only in life, but in your fantasies too, Krish. Try to understand that. I don’t have these fantasies if I don’t have you."
I didn’t say anything. Meera continued. "You didn’t want me to tell him that you knew about the night of the concert, and then about Ritu’s wedding night. In his mind, and between me and Desai, those instances were already painting me as a cheating partner. If I could sleep with him twice behind your back, why should I stop at a third time? The only person who can stop it is you. You can do that, even now."

She paused, looking at me with hope. "I don’t want to lose you, Krish. Our marriage, I don’t want this to be over."
I stared at her, her face etched with pain and confusion. For a brief moment, I saw the woman I had fallen in love with – the one who had filled my life with joy and warmth. But then the image of her with Desai flashed in my mind: the way she had looked at him, how she had responded to him. The flicker of hope that had ignited in me quickly died.
"But it’s over, Meera," I said, my voice firm. "We can’t go back to what we were. You need to understand that. It’s over. Let’s move on."
Her eyes flashed with anger. "You're unbelievable, Krish!” Her voice rose. “You're pushing me away because you're afraid! Afraid of losing control, afraid of facing your own insecurities!"
"Meera," I began, but she cut me off.
"No," she raised her hand to stop me. "Don’t say anything. Just... just go wherever you want."
Without another word, she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

However, she phoned me later that morning after I had reached the office.
"Krish, I was thinking… Maybe we could see a counsellor together?"
She was trying to find a way. I thought about opening up about our life in front of a counsellor. The thought of talking about our life’s secrets to a stranger simply repulsed me.
"I don’t think that’s a good idea," I said.
"Why not?" Meera asked. "Don’t we owe it to ourselves to at least try? To understand where we went wrong?"
I leaned back in my chair. "Meera, this isn’t about where we went wrong. This is about what’s already broken. Some things can’t be fixed."
"I understand you’re upset, but this isn’t just about you or me. This is about us. About everything we’ve built together, Krish."
I waited for a moment, then ended the call. There seemed to be no end to these talks, and I told myself, it’s pointless.
As I thought about her phone call, I realized she was trying her best to save the marriage. She loved me, that much was clear. And I was left wondering if I was being too hasty.
Am I throwing it all away?
But then the image of Meera with Desai flooded my mind – the way she had looked at him, how she had responded to him, her body drawn to his in a way she had never been with me. That memory erased all my doubts instantly.

"So that’s how it’s going to be," I muttered to myself, the bitterness rising in my throat. "Meera in Desai’s bed. Permanently."

That morning when Nidhi arrived at the office, she looked more beautiful than ever, a newfound confidence in her step. Perhaps it was the unspoken understanding between us after what happened the previous day – how we’d chosen to remain friends, saving ourselves from embarrassment, which only seemed to draw us closer.
"You look beautiful today," I said before I could stop myself.
She paused, locking eyes with me, a smile spreading slowly across her face. "Thank you, Krish sir."
Her response was casual, but the way she said it carried a sense of excitement in her voice. There was a curiosity in her eyes, something I had noticed the previous day. I felt it was because she probably thought I had had a fantasy-filled all-night encounter with Meera.
But neither of us talked about anything personal apart from professional matters that day.

Later that evening, Meera phoned me again.
"I’m home early," she said, her voice softer. "I don’t want to be alone. Can you come?"
Nidhi was in my cabin when that phone call came, and I was sure she heard Meera’s voice.
"Okay, I’ll be there soon," I said, trying to keep my tone neutral.
As I hung up, Nidhi’s smile lingered a moment longer, a knowing glint in her eyes. I knew what she was thinking, imagining what might happen next. But instead of excitement, an unease settled over me.
I glanced at her again, her eyes fixed on me. I decided to leave immediately, wanting to escape the weight of her scrutiny.

Back at home, Meera thanked me for coming. She didn’t mention the crisis at all.
After having coffee, she suggested a walk, and we went. We spoke about random things, anything to avoid the confrontation that was looming between us. With each step, the silence deepened, the emptiness growing more palpable.
That night, we slept in the same bed, just like the night before – with a wide gap between us.

The next morning, I woke to find Meera sitting by the bed, a cup of coffee in her hand. She looked at me, her eyes filled with sadness, mirroring my own.
"Good morning," she said quietly, her voice barely a whisper.
I took the coffee and thanked her.
We sat in silence, the only sound the ticking of the clock on the bedside table.

Later at the office, Nidhi couldn’t help but notice the shadows under my eyes.
"So, how did last night go?" she asked, her tone casual, but her eyes filled with mischief.
I met her gaze but didn’t want to say anything.
"Guess," I replied.
Nidhi smiled. "I can imagine."

For two days, Meera didn’t bring it up again, but the silence between us was suffocating. Finally, I asked, "Did you talk to Desai about it?"
She shook her head. "No, I won’t. There’s nothing to discuss."
I wasn’t sure what to make of it, so I took a step forward. I called Desai on a video call. He answered, looking uncomfortable.
"Meera told me about your meeting at Alpine Heights," I said, steady but aware of his unease.
He hesitated, caught off guard. Before he could respond, I added, "I have no issue with you two meeting again. It’s clear now that you want to."
Meera, who had been standing silently in the background, grabbed the phone from my hand. "No," she said firmly. "I won’t meet him again." She ended the call abruptly.
She turned to me, her eyes hard. "Stop forcing your decisions on me," she said, voice low. "If you want me out of your life, I’ll leave. But don’t ask me to see him again."
I stared at her, frustration building. "Why?" I asked, but she stayed silent.

Later, Desai called me back.
"Is everything alright?" he asked.
"Not really," I replied, my voice steady. "I need to ask you something. Do you love Meera?"
A pause. Then, Desai answered softly, "Yes, I love her. But I won’t do anything to spoil what she has with you. I’ll never ask her if she feels the same. I’m just happy knowing I can bring her some joy."
I absorbed his words. "She has feelings for you, Desai. You should talk to her, confess what you feel. Let her give you a proper answer."
Desai’s voice was full of confusion. "Why are you saying this, Krish? Why now?"
I sighed, my voice firm. "If you ever had the chance to marry Meera, what would you do?"
He was silent for a long moment, then spoke with regret. "Meera gave me a second chance at life. I would love to keep her in it, to be with her forever. But marriage… that’s just a dream. I know she loves you more than anything. I could never compete with that."
His words settled over me like a cold weight. I could hear the genuine affection in his voice for Meera, and it only confirmed what I was already starting to believe: maybe Meera belonged with him after all.

I listened intently, Desai’s words echoing in my mind. His affection for Meera was clear, and it only solidified what I had begun to believe – that maybe she belonged with him after all.
"I’ve started to think you two deserve each other," I said, my voice colder than I intended. "Our marriage... it’s just awkward now. It lacks color. The passion? Gone. Our sex life isn’t fulfilling. She’s not happy with me. And she’s been seeing you behind my back."
There was a long silence. I could feel Desai trying to process what I was saying.
"And me?" I went on. "I’ve cheated on her too. With Maithrei. We slept together. I’m telling you because I trust you, but don’t tell her. The trust, the chemistry – everything that worked – is gone. It’s time to move on."
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