Fantasy Making of a Starship Captain

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[Note: This Science Fiction story is an intense character study with occasional sex scenes.]

The Grade School Years​

Captain's Log, Stardate Supplemental, Michael Taylor, USS Comet, Commanding:

I have taken a landing party down to the unexplored world of Gamus II. It is filled with forests and rivers and oceans that are really wild! And I am the first man to land on the planet! I see all sorts of amazing things! There are giant giraffes, but these giraffes had lines instead of spots, and they ate people instead of plants! They started to attack us, so we opened fire with our compression rifles, bam bam bam bam bam-

"Ow!"

Mike Taylor rubbed his arm. "Darden, you hit me!" He looked up at his brother, who was grinning at him as he stood inside Mike's bedroom.

Darden grinned. "Mom said to tell you dinner was ready."

"But I was making a Captain's log entry!" Mike whined.

"Sorry, Lifeboat," Darden grinned. And then he was gone.

Lifeboat.

That's what Darden called him now. Ever since the incident on the Arcturus, two years ago, Darden called him Lifeboat. He still harbored a grudge that his parents had chosen Mike and not him to be saved on the Survey Service scoutship. Why should Darden blame him? He hadn't make the decision. Mom and Dad did.

Darden had always been jealous of the attention Mom and Dad had given him, ever since he was born. Before Mike, Darden had been the only child. But when Mike was born, Darden had been forced to share his parents with Mike. But after their sister Val was born, Darden didn't heap scorn on her; somehow, though, brothers were different.

Mike rushed to the dinner table.

"Took you long enough," said his father.

"I was making a Captain's log entry, Dad," said Mike. "I was practicing, for when I join the Survey Service."

His father sighed. "Mike, I wish you would give up this fantasy."

"It's not a fantasy," Mike insisted. "I am going to join the Academy, right when I graduate high school."

"I almost wish the Survey Service hadn't saved us," Dad sighed.

But Mike wasn't listening. He was sure that he was going to join the Survey Service. He would be brave and bold, just like Captain Renton. He watched reruns of a holoshow called Survey Trek, a space drama which was based on the Survey Service. It featured a big, brave handsome man named Captain William Burgess who would always be brave and bold and strong. He would fight enemies hand to hand and more often than not get his shirt ripped, showing off his handsome chest. He would also kiss girls too, but always right before commercial breaks, and afterwards he would always be doing something completely different, which confused Mike for a number of years, until he eventually figured it out.

There were actually several iterations of Survey Trek, but Mike didn't like the later ones, which featured much more talk than action, and focused on weird things like skin color and sexual orientation and recycling. Mike watched and rewatched the original series over and over. His favorite episode was the one where a glowing alien changed everyone's compression pistols into swords, and Captain Burgess had swordfights with Ramadhan Corsairs on his ship. Mike estimated he had seen that episode at least 38 times.

Mike attended Lorena Hickok Middle School in Cambridge, Massachusetts. It was called progressive, though Mike didn't really learn the meaning of that word until many years later. He learned in school that Lorena Hickok had been a friend of Eleanor Roosevelt, the wife of President Franklin Roosevelt, back when the United States had been an independent country, before it joined the World Government. At first it confused Mike to learn his school had been named after a friend of the President's wife. It was explained to him that Lorena Hickok had been a very special friend of Mrs. Roosevelt, a special friend who could give her things that her husband couldn't. Mike concluded that Lorena Hickok must have been a really special friend to get a whole school named after her.

Mike didn't have many friends in school. Kids thought he was weird. While kids were playing together at lunch, Mike would be sitting on a bench, his eyes glazed, his mind thinking of adventures in space, his mouth making "boom" or "zap" noises as he imagined space battles he was participating in. Meanwhile the boys were playing Equalball during recess, each one dutifully taking their turn to kick the ball into the goal while the others respectfully stood on the sidelines and clapped. The girls had their own fun, playing word games such as "What color will my husband's eyes be?", "How big will my husband's hands be?" and the ever popular "How much money will my husband make after the wedding?"

The kids ostracized him. They called him Captain Taylor and Space Cadet. Mike did have one friend, though. His name was Bob Petrovic. Bob said that he too wanted to join the Survey Service when he grew up. They played Survey Service games together, like Rescue, or Fight the Ramadhan Pirates, or Hunt the Manophobes, or Delete the Drug Dealers.

Mom thought his play activities were mostly harmless, but objected to the fact that every time they played Delete the Drug Dealers, the villains had names like Little Pepe or El Curo or Alienza. She said that was racist and she wanted the drug dealers to have more ordinary names like Fred or Bob or John. When Mike made the mistake of telling her that drug dealers on Survey Trek didn't have those kind of names, she began to wonder aloud if he should be allowed to watch the show. Just like Dad.

And of course Mike also played with Mister Peepers. Mister Peepers was his best friend and slept with him every night. One time Darden stole Mister Peeper's battery and hid it for three days. Mike cried and cried until Dad forced him to give it back.

An interesting conversation was taking place, deep inside of Mike's brain.

Curiosity tapped Ambition on the shoulder. "Oh, hey there," said Ambition.

"Hey yourself," said Curiosity. "There's someone who wants a chat with you."

"Someone? Who?" Ambition asked.

"I don't know," said Curiosity.

"How can you not know?" Ambition asked.

Suddenly, the environment melted around him, and Ambition found himself somewhere else. With someone else.

"Who are you?" said Ambition. He usually recognized everyone on sight, having had interactions with nearly every motivation in Mike's brain.

"I don't really have a name," said the newcomer. "You can call me... Galactic Hope, for want of a better term."

"Galactic Hope?" said Ambition. He squinted. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No."

"And you're not someone else's ambition."

"No."

"Then if you're not from Mike's mind, and you're not from the Ambition plane, how are we even able to talk?" This meeting was getting odder by the minute.

"Let's just say I'm from a plane of existence that is perpendicular to your own, and intersects it in parts."

Ambition shook its head. None of this made sense. "What do you want?"

"It is very important to us that the one called Mike Taylor succeeds in his ambition to join the Survey Service."

Ambition gave a laugh. "Mike Taylor? He's a dreamer. An outcast. He'll be lucky to graduate high school. I have difficulty enough just getting him motivated to do his school work. He'll never amount to much."

"No, you are mistaken," said Galactic Hope, and there was something in its voice, something so authoritative, that Ambition found himself focusing with great seriousness. "Michael Taylor is destined for great things. He will become one of the greatest Captains in Survey Service history. He will save the galaxy."

"Mike Taylor... will save the galaxy?" This was too much, even for Ambition.

"Yes. You must nurture his interest in the Survey Service, and promote it at every opportunity."

Ambition paused, and then held out his hands. "Sure. That's my job, I mean. To make him have ambitions. I'll try my best. But I really think you have the wrong guy."

"We don't." The environment around Ambition started to fade. "You... will... see....."

In the fourth grade, Mike learned that there were currently seventy two different genders, and that the number of different kinds of genders were growing almost daily. Teacher made the students go through exercises to help figure out what their gender was, and the School Counselor followed up with individual sessions. At first Mike was sure of what he was. "I'm a boy," he would insist, stubbornly, but his teachers were equally stubborn in telling him he was not.

After several intensive counseling sessions, Mike gradually became convinced that he was the robot gender. He was given assignments in class to help reinforce his new gender identity. He was made to write an essay describing what it felt like being robogendered. By now fully convinced he was robogendered, Mike wrote that it felt very good, and he felt very empowered, because he knew how powerful robots were.

Self-Image looked in the Mirror. He saw a robot looking back at him.

"I am a robot," he said smugly. "A robot. I am a robot."

Ambition tried to shake some sense into him. "You're no robot!"

"I am a robot," said Self-Image, preening in front of the mirror. His metallic image shined back at him. He had a metal body and metal arms and legs and a metal head. "School says I am a robot. So I must be a robot."

"No, you are simply a little boy, a little boy who is getting distracted, who is getting off track," said Ambition desperately.

But Self-Image would not be moved.

When the school felt he was ready, Mike was sent home with a note stating that he was robogendered, and that he would go through a period of adjustment, and that his parents should be understanding and encourage him in his wonderful journey of gender self-exploration.

But Mom and Dad were not accepting of his new gender, and Dad even wondered aloud if he should have been home schooled, until Mom reminded him that the World Government had ruled that home schooling was anti-communitarian, and punishable by five years in a rehabilitation colony.

"I'm a robot, just like Mister Peepers!" said Mike gleefully, hugging his dog.

Dad turned red and Mike thought he was going to burst.

But Dad got his revenge at dinner. When Mike sat down to eat, and Mom served him, Dad took his plate of food away.

"Hey!" said Mike. "Why did you do that?"

"Robots don't need to eat," said Dad, with a nasty grin on his face.

"But... but...."

"But what?"

But. Mike didn't have an answer for that. Mom seemed about to say something, and her eyes watered with sympathy, but a glare from Dad shut her up.

And then later, upstairs, when he went to go to the bathroom, Dad was there, blocking the way. "What?" Mike said.

"Robots don't need to go to the bathroom." Dad had another evil grin on his face. Could he really be enjoying this?

Mike's jaw dropped as he realized the implications of this.

"I am a robot," said Self-Image, looking into the mirror.

"But I have to go to the bathroom!" said Bodily Needs.

"I am a robot," Self-Image repeated.

"No you're not, if you feel like you're going to explode on the inside!" said Bodily Needs. He touched Self-Image's body. "Feel that?"

Self-Image suddenly felt a tremendous pressure in his bowels. "Oh... oh... oh..... All right, I'm not a robot!"

And that was the beginning, and the end, of Mike's gender identity quest at the tender age of nine.

Dad was an Equalitarian, and Mom was a follower of the She-Goddess Aura, so they ended up going to the First Equalitarian Church of Cambridge... at least, at first.

Sara, Mike's Mom, really liked Reverend Lustman's sermons, at first. He would talk about how everyone should be equal, and how the poor should have everything the rich did, and how rich people never, ever made money honestly, which is why they were rich. In the beginning, Mike's Mom enjoyed the sermons very much. But it wasn't long before the sermons began to take on an apocalyptic tone, specifically an equalitarian one, as Reverend Lustman harped on the coming Equalpocalypse.

"And the ground will open up, and the rich will fall into the cracks of the Earth! The Lord will return, and smite the rich where they stand! Their skulls will burst open like melons, and their skin will burn like fried chicken! And all their ill gotten worldly goods will be redistributed to the more worthy-"

All this talk about bursting melons and fried chicken got Mom upset, and she stopped going to church, and didn't let the kids go either. The next thing that Mike knew, Mom was taking him and Darden and baby Val to another church, one with a decidedly different holy message....

Audra Rosenbloom didn't plan to become a priestess; at first, she wanted to open up a health food store, one that sold dried nuts and granola. She applied for and received a special World Government grant for disadvantaged women without color, but the store quickly went out of business due to little sales. So she got a second grant from the World Government and tried again, with similar results. After the third grant and her third failure, Audra began to realize that society unfairly discriminated against purveyors of dried nuts and granola.

Feeling depressed, she attended a vegetarian barbecue at the local Church of the She Goddess which opened her eyes. Audra realized how comfortable she was with the ideology of the She Goddess. Eating meat was bad! Audra always knew that, but never knew why. Men, Capitalism, the free market--they were all destroying the environment. Audra had always sensed that too, subliminally, but when it was finally explicitly spelled out for her, it all made sense. Even her name Audra, was remarkably close to the name of the She Goddess, Aura. It was meant to be, Audra decided.

And so Audra got a degree in divinity from the Highlands Community College School of Religious and Social Justice Studies, and was graduated with top marks after getting an "A+" on her graduating thesis entitled "A woman god--if not now, when?" She worked in several ministries before being chosen to lead the one in Cambridge, where the Taylor family attended.

Sara Taylor liked the sermons at the First Coming of the She Goddess Community Church. They were filled with hope and love for the environment, and women, and women's issues, and women empowerment, which was good for Val and maybe the boys too if they would open their minds and broaden their perspectives a little. Edwin, however, would have none of it; after trying one service, he dropped out. He complained that there were very few men there, which was true, and he noticed that the men who were there all looked weak and emasculated. But Sara brought the children and they kept attending.

They quickly got to know Sister Audra. They would stand in line to talk to her afterwards. Sara got to be on good terms with her. Sister Audra took one look at Darden, at the defiance in his eyes, and never paid him any mind ever again. But Mike was a different story. She would pat him on the head, and smile at him, and look him in the eye and ask how he was, every time. Sister Audra asked Sara if Mike showed any troubling harbingers of masculinity. Sara told Sister Audra how Mike fantasized about space battles, and compression pistol firefights with alien races.

"Oh no no no, we can't have that," she said, smiling as she cupped Mike's face. "Such a dear boy! He's way too young to be corrupted by toxic masculinity! Does he eat meat? Does he urinate standing up?"

"Yes," said Sara, hanging her head, as she started to feel embarrassed.

"Don't feel bad, my child," said Audra. "I think we can save him. I want Mike to join our special boy's choir."

"You did what?" said Edwin, at dinner.

"I signed Mike up for the church's boy's choir," said Sara.

Edwin dropped his fork with a clatter. "Sara, I had no real objections when you joined that church, but going to church is one thing, and putting Mike in their choir is another. Haven't you heard about the scandals that have been rocking the Church of the She-Goddess?"

"Oh, those are a few isolated incidents," said Sara, waving her hand dismissively.

"A few? Almost every day we hear about Headophiles in the Church," said Edwin. "The whole problem is that they don't let their priestesses marry men. Only women."

"Aura says that women who truly serve the faith can only lay with other women. It is the way," said Sara, raising her chin.

"Yeah, but what happens when closeted heterosexual women join the church?" Edwin asked. "Their... tendencies come out in other ways."

"I'm sure Sister Audra is not like that," said Sara. "She's a committed lesbian. I can feel it."

"How?"

"From... from the way she stares at my breasts." She flushed slightly as she said it.

"I stare at your breasts, and I'm not a lesbian," said Edwin.

Sara's eyebrows furled, and she gave Edwin a nasty stare. Edwin smiled at her and resumed eating his peas.

It was going to be the first of a new line of Survey Service battleships. The USS Warspite, bristling with megajoulers and plasma ray emitters. Mike stared at the outline of the new twenty story building under construction in downtown Cambridge, seeing its majestic steel beams jutting skywards, and knew he had to check out the spaceship that was being built just blocks away from his home.

"Don't go," said Ambition.

"But I want to go," said Love Survey Service.

Love Survey Service was one of Ambition's deputies. After all, they both had the same goal, for Mike to eventually join the Survey Service. But Love Survey Service was easily led astray, in this case, by Love to Play.

"It's a construction site, for an unfinished building," said Ambition.

"But we can pretend it's a spaceship," said Love to Play, putting hands around Love Survey Service's shoulders. "It will make us more excited about joining the Survey Service."

"Yes... yes, that would be fun," said Love Survey Service.

"Think about what you're doing," said Be Cautious. "This building is not meant for kids! You could fall to your death, or be crushed by something heavy!"

But Mike was only nine years old. The voice of Be Cautious was thin and reedy. He found the voice of Love to Play much more persuasive.

"It will be our first spaceship, our first command!" said Love to Play.

"Let's go!" said Love Survey Service.

Mike snuck in after nightfall, when the construction site was empty. Mister Peepers wanted to come too, but Mike knew Mister Peepers wasn't good at climbing, so he stowed him on his back in a knapsack.

It was easy to get in--they had only half heartedly fenced a portion of the construction site. Mike entered the ground level and shined his light around casually. This must be where the engine room would be, when the Warspite was finished. Oh how he would love to see the ship when it was fully built!

"Arf arf!" said Mister Peepers, on his back.

"That's right, Mister Peepers," said Mike. "This is going to be one of the finest ships of the line." He went over to a ladder and looked up. It was a long way up.

"Arf arf!" said Mister Peepers, looking up.

"We can do it, Mister Peepers," said Mike. "I want to get to the bridge."

Mike started to climb the ladder, rung after rung. But his little arms and legs quickly got tired. He stopped on the fourth floor for a rest, and started looking around. This floor was barely finished, with empty squares in the ground.

"This must be where the crew quarters will be, Mister Peepers. Just imagine it, bunking on a grand starship like the Warspite!" said Mike. He peered down one of the empty holes in the ground. "But first they have to finish putting the floor in. I wonder why they-" his voice broke off as he heard a cracking sound, and suddenly the floor collapsed under his feet, and he was falling--

As he fell through, his hands gripped the edges of the floor and he held on. He looked down. It was a long way to the floor below, perhaps thirty feet or more.

"Arf arf!" said Mister Peepers.

"I... I can't pull myself up," said Mike. "Mister Peepers... Mister Peepers, help!" Mike started to cry for help. Mister Peepers started barking, and instinctively released synthetic urine out of the tip of his robot penis.

Mike felt his grip starting to slip. "Help! Help!" he cried.

Suddenly, he heard a sound, and saw a light, in the distance.

"You could have been killed!" said Sara. "What were you thinking, Mike?"

"I... I wanted to check out the new spaceship being built," said Mike. He looked down, twiddling his fingers.

"This is where all this fantasizing about the Survey Service has taken him," said Edwin, looking perplexed and concerned.

"But Dad, it was the Survey Service who saved me!" said Mike.

"No, Mike," said Edwin. He grabbed Mike by the shoulders. "It was a night watchman. If he hadn't gotten there in time, you could have died."

"That would have upset you, if Mikey died, wouldn't it?" said Darden bitterly. "Maybe you selected the wrong son to go into the lifeboat."

"Darden, shut up!" Edwin yelled. He turned back to Mike. "Mike, you have to promise that you will never do this again."

"But Dad-"

"Promise me, Mike!"

"All... all right," said Mike, looking down.

"We love the green green earth!"

"We love the trees and the grass and the oceans and the fields! We love the great blue sky and the way the wind feels! We love the squirrels and the hay, the fields made of clay, and we love the flowers which are so pretty in our hair!"

"Thank you, Auuura, thank you Auurra, you're the best, thank you Auuura, we really don't deserve the rest."

Sister Audra smiled. The boys' voices were so angelic. She loved them when they were young, before they made the change, before they became infected with toxic masculinity.

Mike didn't really like the boys' chorus. He found it boring. It had nothing to do with being in the Survey Service, and he found singing to be kind of girlish. He also found it strange the way Sister Audra would look at him. Every time she talked to him she had this kind of weird smile on her face. And she was always touching his shoulder and stroking his hair. Mike had never seen anyone who liked to touch so much.

Mike got to know some of the other kids in the chorus, Miles Reddicker and Harmon Cody. They were being forced to sing in the chorus too.

"I hate singing and I hate it here," said Miles, whispering to Mike during a break while Harmon listened in. "But what I hate the most is being called in during breaktime." There were two breaks during the 90 minute rehearsals.

"Called in?" said Mike.

"Sister Audra calls us in sometimes-"

Suddenly Audra came up to them. "Harmon, dear, your singing is divine. But I think you could use a little spiritual guidance. It would do wonders for your singing. Why don't you come to my chambers and we'll pray together to the Goddess?"

"But Sister Audra... I don't want to pray," said Harmon, getting a haunted look.

"Of course you do, dear," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It won't take more than a few minutes, I promise. Come along."

Harmon, looking terrified, allowed himself to be propelled into Audra's office.

Mike looked at Miles, but Miles looked away.

When Harmon came out a few minutes later, he looked like he was about to cry.

Sister Audra, however, was beaming with a wide smile on her face.

Captain Blaster had disappeared.

Mike's toys had a habit of disappearing. "Have you seen Captain Blaster?" he asked Darden, who was lying on his bed, reading from his Pad.

Darden didn't even deign to answer.

"Arf arf!" said Mister Peepers.

"Did you find it, Mister Peepers?" Mike asked.

"Arf arf!" said Mister Peepers.

Mister Peepers was sniffing under the bed.

"Have you found it, boy?"

"Arf, arf!"

Mike reached under his bed, and felt around. He recovered Captain Blaster... in two pieces. His head was separate from his body. "Captain Blaster!" He cried. Captain Blaster had always been his favorite. He held up the head and the headless body. He looked at Darden. "What did you do?" he said accusingly.

Darden shrugged, still not looking up. "I guess Captain Blaster didn't make it into the lifeboat either."

Lifeboat. Darden still called him that, sometimes, even in front of Mom and Dad. Darden was always mean to him now. Mom said that he and Darden were supposed to share the Holoviewer, but the minute Mom left the room, Darden would turn off Survey Trek and turn on Real Woman Wrestlers of Southern California instead. Darden was also always stealing his desserts, and hitting him, or pushing him. When Mike would complain to Mom, she would chide them to both stop fighting. She would never listen when he insisted that Darden started it.

"I'm gonna tell Mom!" Mike sobbed.

"You do that," said Darden, still staring at his Pad.

"You promised Mom and Dad you wouldn't go again," said Want to Please Mom and Dad.

"But it's a starbase! I've never been inside a starbase before!" said Love the Survey Service.

"It's not a Starbase," said Ambition. "It's a sewage treatment plant."

"But it's big and round just like a starbase," said Love to Play, putting arms around Love the Survey Service. "It's the closest thing we'll get to a Starbase for years to come."

"Yeah, yeah that's right," said Love the Survey Service.

"Don't do it," said Want to Please Mom and Dad. "Mom and Dad will be so angry with you!"

"I want to see the Starbase!" said Love the Survey Service. "Let's go!

Sneaking in that night was easy. The Cambridge Treatment Facility had even fewer defenses than the construction site. It was as if they had never considered the possibility that someone might try to break into a sewage treatment plant.

Mike slipped in under cover of darkness. He saw a night watchman, but easily avoided him. Soon he was on a walkway high up over giant vats that were several stories tall. Some were empty, but others were filled with strange, foul smelling liquids. Some vats held a clear, yellow liquid, while others held a dark, muddy liquid that smelled especially bad.

Mike walked around without a care in the world. His imagination told him that he was no longer on a starbase, but the massive engine room of a starship, a starship about to fall into the Vegan sun.

Mike walked over to a control panel full of active screens and bright buttons. "We need to break out of the sun's gravity well," he said, in an authoritative voice.

And then he imitated of Chief Engineer Glascow from Survey Trek. "Captain, the engines are at 100%!"

"Set them to 110%!" Mike snapped.

"Aye sir," said Mike, imitating Glascow's Scottish brogue.

Mike started to press buttons at random on the console. The sounds of machinery moving started to be heard. One of the giant vats, which was three quarters filled with liquid excrement, started to rise even higher. In moments, the vat was full and the excrement started to flow over the top, onto the floor of the plant.

Suddenly, Mike saw red flashing lights and alarms went off loudly in his ears. "Captain, she's taking all she can! I canna give you any moooorrre!" said Mike, in Glascow's Scottish voice, as the shit flew freely all over the place.

"More power, Glascow! We need more power!" Mike yelled.

"Aye sir!" said Mike. He started pressing buttons wildly. More shit started pouring out all over the place. The ground shook around him and lights were flashing everywhere now and the floor below him started to get flooded with liquid shit. People started running out on the floor of the plant, slipping and falling into the shit, which was now waist high.

"Hey, you!" said one of them, running down the elevated walkway. The man had an angry expression on his face, and as he ran up to Mike, and grabbed him by the wrist, Mike realized the man's clothes were all black and he smelled really bad too.

Mike was grounded for a month. He wasn't allowed to go out and play. He had to stay in his room, even on weekends. And if he dared even mention the words "Survey Service", his father's eyes would get big and he would yell at him.

The only thing he was allowed out for was choir practice.

"We love the Earth, we love the Earth, it's so beautiful and green and brown."

As the boys stopped singing, Sister Audra clapped. "Wonderful, simply wonderful!"

It was break time. All eyes were on her as they watched to see who she would select. Miles Reddicker was trembling as she seemed to walk towards him. But then she walked on by, and stopped at...

"Mike. Your singing was beautiful."

"Thank you, Sister," said Mike, aware of all eyes on him.

"But it could be even better. You could sing like the angels. Would you like that, Mike?"

Mike didn't actually know how well angels sang. But he felt a sense of foreboding. "I don't know," he said, staring at his hands.

"Of course you do. Come along, dear." Sister Audra led him to her private office. As they walked through the practice room of the Church, which was filled with young boys, Mike reflected on how quiet the room suddenly was.

When they got to her study, Audra stared at him for a long moment, until Mike grew uncomfortable. It was like she was deciding whether to do something or not. Finally, she spoke. "Mike, do you want to get closer to the She-Goddess?"

"Uh... I guess so," said Mike. Truthfully, he didn't think much of the She-Goddess either way. Dad had told him more than once that the day that God was a girl was the day he would become a eunuch. Mike didn't know what a eunuch was, but the way Mom slapped him when he said that made him think it was something bad.

"Good," she said with a smile. She unlocked a cabinet with a special passcard, and took out two shiny, silver helmets. She put one on her own head, and then put the other on his own head.

"What is this?" Mike asked.

"It's technology. Wonderful technology which will help us get closer to Aura," said Sister Audra, smiling at him.

Mike was about to ask what she meant when suddenly he stiffened. All his hairs stood on end. Suddenly he felt a tingling all over his body.

Whatever effort it was having on him, though, was minor compared to what it was doing to Sister Audra. She started to gasp. As she stared at Mike, her eyes got wide, and she started to make sounds, little sounds, like "Ah... ah... ah... ah... ah..." At any other time Mike would have thought it funny, but now it was just plain strange!

The tingling continued, and Mike felt a bit sweaty, but he could clearly see that Sister Audra was much more affected. She leaned against her desk for support, and her jaw dropped open, and her eyes got even wider, and her face got flush, and she said, "Oooh. Ooooooooohhh." Mike wondered if this were some kind of new prayer.

And then Sister Audra took some deep breaths, and suddenly, she was very relaxed. She smiled at Mike and took the helmet off his head and put them away in the cabinet. She turned to Mike. "How did that feel, Mike? Do you feel closer to Aura now?"

"Sort of...." Truthfully, Mike didn't know how he felt, but he sensed that Audra wanted a different answer.

"This kind of... praying... is special. It has to be done in secret. If you tell anyone about it, it won't work. Aura will get angry with you if you do. You wouldn't want Aura to get angry with you, would you?"

"No!" said Mike. He knew from the sermons what happened when Aura got angry. She would wave her hand and make all the meat and air cars disappear from the world. Mike didn't care so much about air cars, but he didn't want to give up his meat! He would be devastated if he could never eat meat again.

"Good," said Audra, patting him on the head. "Let's keep this our little secret, then."

"So how was choir practice today, dear?" Mom asked.

"Tell her!" said Fear.

"No!" said Love the Taste of Meat.

"We're doing something wrong. I can feel it," said Fear.

"No we're not. Sister Audra says we're just honoring the Goddess," said Love the Taste of Meat.

"Do you think it's normal to put on helmets and look each other in the eyes and breathe heavily?"

"All right, that is a little odd. But there are so many odd things in the world. Maybe it's just something adults do," said Love the Taste of Meat.

"We should tell Mom. She could tell us if it's all right," said Fear.

"If we do that, the She Goddess will get angry, and we will never enjoy the taste of meat again! Don't do it!"

"It was fine, Mom." Mike blinked slowly.

His Mom didn't even look at him. She was busy in the kitchen, preparing lunch. "That's nice, dear. I'm glad you like it. Sister Audra commed me, and said you're doing so well, that she'd like you to join them for the Saturday choir practice as well as the Sunday one."

"Oh, no," said Mike.

Sara turned and smiled at him. "I'm sure you're having a great time."

Kevin Landwaster.

Danny Martini.

Roger Spumonte.

They were Mike's tormentors in chief. The other kids scorned him. They called him Space Cadet and Captain Taylor and refused to play with him. But Kevin Landwaster, Danny Martini, Roger Spumonte would punch and kick him. Kevin was the worst of them all. He demanded Mike suck on his "space dick" and when Mike refused, he would slap Mike in the face.

When Mike came home one day with a bruise on his face, his parents asked about it. When he told them what was happening, his mother gasped and immediately called the school. The three kids were called in and ordered to leave Mike alone.

But that didn't deter them. Mike got beaten and abused again and again. When Sara complained again, the school took the harshest measures in its arsenal; it docked all three students of their virtue points. But that still didn't deter them. They continued to beat Mike up.

"Why don't they just suspend them?" Edwin snapped over dinner one night. He had to speak loudly over Mike's two year old sister Val, who was screaming as she spread mashed potatoes all over her face.

"They can't do that! Massachusetts outlawed the suspension of disruptive children from school years ago. They said suspensions were applied in a racist and arbitrary fashion," said Sara. In the background, Val continued to yell.

"Well, we can't just sit here and watch Mike get beaten up," said Edwin. "I'm going to sign him up for karate classes."

"Karate?" said Mike.

"You'll love it," Edwin promised. "They'll teach you how to defend yourself."

"Yeah, they'll teach you, while kids with black belts beat the crap out of you," Darden smirked, hitting Mike in the arm.

"Ow!" said Mike. "Why did you do that?"

"To show you what your classes will be like," Darden replied.

Darden wasn't entirely wrong. Two days later Mike was wearing white pajamas, along with a class full of similarly attired grim faced kids. The beginning of class was the worst. They were made to do twenty pushups. Mike could barely do four. The sensei, Mr. Bloomenfeld, a Jewish man who liked to act Japanese, yelled at Mike to try harder, but he could never do more than four. Then came the stretches. Everyone seemed miraculously able to touch their toes, but Mike could barely touch his knees.

After that was the actual karate practice. Mike was forced to memorize a bunch of kicks and punches. Then he was made to practice them on others while they practiced on him. Kick, punch, kick, punch, kick kick kick, punch punch punch. Mike had different partners, but some of them liked to punch and block hard. Very quickly Mike's arms started to get black and blue marks.

After four lessons he decided to quit.

Endurance was walking slowly on a treadmill. He was gasping for breath.

"You can't give up now," said Ambition.

"But it hurts!" said Endurance.

"It's going to have to hurt if you're going to learn anything," said Ambition.

"Don't listen to him. You don't need to take karate classes anymore," said Taking It Easy. "You've had four lessons, and what have you learned? Kick. Punch. Kick. Punch. You've learned the essentials. You know what you need to defend yourself."

"You're right," said Endurance, and he stopped walking on the treadmill.

"No, it isn't that easy," said Ambition. "Don't stop! Keep going!"

The day after Mike quit karate, Kevin Landwaster came up to him while he was packing his backpack to go home for the day.

"Hey Captain Taylor!" said Kevin.

Mike didn't respond.

"Captain Taylor, I'm talking to you," said Kevin, shoving him.

Mike looked at him.

"Are you ready to suck my space dick, Captain Taylor?"

Mike shook his head.

Kevin slapped his face. Mike reached out and punched Kevin in the arm. Kevin looked shocked. Then he started to punch Mike back.

Mike tried to fight back, but Kevin was too quick. He suddenly realized it wasn't at all like karate practice, where his opponent punched and kicked slowly, and Mike blocked equally slowly. This was real.

As Mike's face got bloodied, and he cried for help, he realized that Ambition had been right, and Taking It Easy has been wrong. Dead wrong.

After beating Mike up, Kevin was forced to write an essay on why he had committed an anti-social act. But it was Mike who took the real punishment. The kids laughed at him when they saw the bruises and cuts on his face.

And when Sister Audra saw what had happen to him, she insisted he go with her into her study immediately to tell her all about it. She listened attentively as Mike described how he was beaten up. Then she hugged him and told him it was going to be all right, and added that she knew just the thing to make him feel better.

A moment later Mike felt the familiar tingling sensation as both he and Sister Audra wore their silver helmets. He didn't seem to be feeling any better, but he noticed that Sister Audra was, as she gasped like a fish, and looked at Mike wide-eyed. Mike wondered if there was something wrong with him, because every time Sister Audra put the helmet on his head, he never gasped like a fish. Or was gasping like a fish an ability that one developed over time?

Mike needed an escape. He had gone exploring twice and gotten caught each time for it, first to the spaceship under construction and then the huge starbase that ended up smelling really bad.​