Fantasy Making of a Starship Captain

"The Prime Minister isn't going to lift a finger to help us," said Taylor. He couldn't say it outright, but he had screaned the Prime Minister and it was very clear to him that however friendly he seemed, Nabil was thoroughly antagonistic towards them. In fact, he might even be the one who had instigated the mobs in the first place.

"But we give aid to his government!" said Allyson.

"That doesn't mean he will help us," said Taylor.

"I'm inclined to agree," said Chellina. "This siege of our embassy cannot be allowed to stand. Any sign of weakness on our part could spark another war. Mike, are you sure you can extricate them without any loss of life?"

"Without any loss of life? No. With minimal loss of life... probably," said Taylor.

"Then go to it, you have my authorization."

Allyson said, "Admiral, I protest-"

"Noted," said the Admiral rapidly. And then, "Proceed, Captain Taylor."

The large, heavy mass of the USS Relentless hovered low over the embassy on Ramada. "Are you sure you want me at the controls for this, Captain?" Ensign Redding had asked anxiously. "It's not like a shuttle."

"Which is why you are at the controls," said Taylor calmly. "You must gain experience with all ship systems. Take us down another 200 feet, Mister."

"Another 200 feet?" Redding cried.

"Ensign, the Captain just gave you an order," said Sophie.

Redding, his hand trembling, took the Relentless down another hundred feet. It was now scarcely 300 feet above the ground. They could see the crowds of angry demonstrators encamped outside the embassy, shouting up at them.

"I think we need to set a message of our own," said Taylor. "Mister Garrity, lock forward megajoulers one and two on that park, there, just across the street from the embassy."

"Megajoulers... locked," said the gunnery officer.

"Set Megajoulers to 4% of full strength," said Taylor. "Sophie, open up the external broadcast system."

"System open, sir."

"Attention out there," said Taylor. His voice could be heard booming outside the ship. "Attention! My name is Captain Michael Taylor of the United Survey Service. You are engaged in an unlawful siege of the embassy. I order you to leave immediately, or face the consequences."

They could see on the holoscreen that the crowds were jeering and yelling at them contemptuously.

Taylor spoke again. "To convince you of our determination, we are going to destroy the park across the street from the embassy. You have sixty seconds to vacate the park, starting now."

People looked hesitant for a moment, and then they started running from the park. As they ran they reminded Taylor of ants... but not just any ants. The ants he had burned to a crisp on PR-52981.

Burn, you bastards, burn!

Taylor blinked as he pushed aside the unpleasant memory.

After sixty seconds had passed, he said, "Perhaps there are those who didn't hear me. Leave the park now." He saw a few stragglers, staring upwards defiantly. Several brandished laser rifles, which they fired up at the hull.

Taylor sighed. "Fire, Mister Garrity."

Two of the massive ship's forward megajoulers shot out. Even at four percent power for only three seconds, the results were dramatic. Before, there was a park. And now... there was only a smoking ruin.

Taylor saw the crowds on the holoviewer screaming obscenities. "I'm sorry I had to make that demonstration," Taylor broadcasted.

The yells continued.

"But if you don't leave the embassy grounds right now, my next demonstration will be on you! You have thirty seconds. 30. 29. 28. 27...."

The crowd, which looked formerly immobile, moved. With real feeling. By the time Taylor had very slowly counted to one, the block around the embassy was clear.

Taylor spoke into his comm. "Lieutenant Tierce, go."

A shuttle launched from the Relentless. In moments, it had landed nearly on the front doorstep of the embassy. And a few moments after that, it was lifting off, heading back to the Relentless.

Taylor looked at Allyson Harshbarger, who was glaring at him. "Commissioner?"

She turned to him.

"Mission... accomplished."

There was a welcome of sorts in the crew lounge. Taylor got a glance at Andrea Zuckerman and Audra Zuckerberg. They looked like two very plain looking girls who had gotten in over their head. Whatever had possessed them to come to Ramada and think that they could overturn a 7th century culture-

"Mike!" And suddenly Taylor was being hugged by a petite brown girl.

Taylor looked at Mohammida Najjar as she pulled back. It was if scarcely a day had passed. Mohammida looked nearly as Taylor had remembered her. A little older around the eyes, perhaps.

"What in the world were you doing on Ramada?" Taylor asked.

"Trying to improve the plight of women and girls," said Mohammida.

"But didn't you realize it might get some people angry?"

Mohammida shrugged, as if she didn't care. "I fled Ramada as a child bride, Mike. Thinking of all those girls facing the same fate was eating away at me. I had to go back."

"And them?" Taylor nodded at Andrea Zuckerman and Audra Zuckerberg.

"Oh, them," said Mohammida, making a face. "Two women's studies majors from Berkeley Absolute Equality University who thought they could change the world. Rich girls who wanted to uplift the darkies," Mohammida grinned. "They're actually well intentioned, if a bit...."

"Sanctimonious?" Sophie suggested.

"Annoying?" said Lieutenant Garrity.

"So sure they're right, and the universe is wrong?" Taylor asked.

"A little bit of all of those, I think," said Mohammida. She hugged Taylor again. "So good to see you again, Mike, after all these years! You have become the most famous Survey Service Captain of all, haven't you? What can top that?"

"Humility?" Sophie suggested.

"Sophie!" said Mohammida, turning towards her with a broad smile. "Is that you?"

"No. I was replaced by an android many years ago, when the real Sophie grew tired of answering the most obvious of questions," Sophie answered, blank faced.

"Sophie, it is you! You haven't changed a bit!' said Mohammida, giving the startled looking Sophie a big hug. Then she pulled back and got an odd look on her face. "Sophie, what's with the big boobs?"

They were sitting in the officer's lounge. "You're looking rather radiant today, Ann Marie," said Ensign Redding, smiling cockily at the blonde yeoman, who looked slightly abashed by the statement.

"No," Taylor cringed.

"What... what was wrong with that?" Miles Redding asked.

Acting Ensign Miles Redding was getting lessons to teach him how to talk to girls. It was a continuing part of his holistic command training that Taylor had decreed was necessary to produce a calm and confident Survey Service officer.

"Because... you've got this crazy look in your eyes, like you're some kind of serial killer," said Taylor.

"How should I be looking at her?"

Taylor sighed. "Miles, it's a fine line. Looking at her with a certain amount of interest is fine, even expected. But you were looking at her like you wanted to cut her up into chops and throw them in your freezer."

"I was?" Miles asked, turning to Ann Marie.

"Don't ask her!" Taylor snapped. "Just look how she's flinching."

Ann Marie gave Miles an insincere smile.

"Then... how do I do it?" Miles asked.

"Here, I'll show you," said Taylor. But Ann Marie was already turning away, wiggling to the snack bar in her high heeled boots. "Audrey!" he commanded.

The luscious red headed yeomen came over with a smile. "Sir?"

"King, have I told you how lovely you look today?"

"No sir," said Audrey King, fluttering her eyelashes.

Sophie Astor rolled her eyes.

Taylor leaned forward. "What would you say, Audrey, if I told you that you were possibly the most gorgeous yeoman in the entire Survey Service?" He paused, then said, "Freeze! Freeze, Audrey, freeze your expression!"

Audrey froze.

"Now look at her face, Miles. What do you see?"

Miles put his face close to her, as if he were studying an artifact. "Her mouth is kind of open. Her eyes are wide."

"What feeling does her expression give you?"

"Uh... surprise. Pleasure."

"Good," said Taylor, aware that the entire officer's lounge was looking at them. "Now look at my face. What does it tell you?"

Miles studied Taylor's face for a long moment, his eyes, his facial expression, his mouth, even the tilt of his head.

"Well, Miles?"

"You sir... you look like... it's hard to put it in words."

"Try, Miles.

"You... you sort of look like you're... in command," said Miles.

"Exactly," said Taylor.

"Can I relax now?" Audrey asked.

"Of course," said Taylor.

Audrey smiled and self consciously rubbed the front and back of her tiny miniskirt flap as she felt the crew's eyes on her.

"It is very easy to demonstrate appeal to one who already finds you appealing," Sophie noted.

Taylor turned to Sophie. "Would you like me to demonstrate it on you, Sophie?"

"You would be wasting your time, Captain. I am a Passive Observer."

"Or so you would have us think," said Taylor. He lowered his voice, turning it into a gravely, sexy tone. "Sophie, may I tell you something?"

"I have the feeling you are about to," said Sophie.

Taylor leaned forward, and put a hand over hers. Sophie felt her eyebrows go up. "Sophie, you and I have been working together for several years now."

"Your talent for stating the obvious grows in leaps and bounds," said Sophie.

"I feel a certain... connection had grown between us, Sophie. A connection which is increasingly hard to deny," said Taylor, feeling the eyes of everyone in the lounge on them.

"You are probably referring to your Pad, which is interfacing with my Pad's network connection-"

"No, Sophie, Sophie," said Taylor, shaking his head slowly, and giving her a look of pure lust, coupled with that patented Taylor half smile that made grown women swoon.

"Ooooh," said Ann Marie, in the background, as she put a hand to her chest.

Taylor looked Sophie directly in the eye as he spoke. "It's about us, Sophie. You are the one, Sophie. You. I've been with nearly every other woman across the galaxy, and finally I realize that after all this time, what I wanted was right here, right under my nose. It's you, Sophie. It's always been you."

Taylor stared into her eyes. She stared back into his. For a minute, it seemed they were in a staring contest.

"You're deluded," Sophie finally said.

Everyone's mouth dropped open.

Not because of what she said, but the way she said it. Sophie spoke in a choked, high pitched, stressed voice, a voice no one had ever heard before.

Sophie's eyes wandered wildly around the room for a split second, and then she audibly cleared her throat, and spoke in her normal, dry tone. "Excuse me. I think I need a drink." She turned and left the lounge. After she did, a crewman started clapping.

And then another, and another, and before long the entire lounge was applauding.

Taylor looked up at Ensign Redding. "And that, young Ensign, is the way you need to do it."

"Women and children, burned to their deaths!" the holoimage of Prime Minister Nabil hollered.

Allyson Harshbarger, sitting in the conference room, turned to Taylor for a response.

"There were only a handful of people in the park. Maybe a woman or two, it was impossible to tell. Certainly no children," said Taylor firmly.

"Babies, hundreds of babies were martyred," said Nabil. "Burned in their cribs, by the evil forces of the Survey Service."

"Sorry, not buying it. It didn't happen," said Taylor. In his younger days he would have been excited, even agitated. But now he was calm, perfectly calm.

"Captain, I have seen the bodies," said Nabil. "You are turning the moderates against you!"

"Oh no!" said Allyson. "Mister Prime Minister, I am so sorry-"

"Do not apologize to me! It is the people of Ramada you must apologize to," said Nabil.

"I... I will make amends," said Allyson, bowing her head. "In the Plaza of Martyrs."

Nabil nodded, as Allyson made the arrangements with him.

After the holoconference ended, Allyson said, "Prepare a shuttle for me. I'm going down to the planet."

"I wouldn't advise it," said Taylor.

"I don't care what you would advise," Allyson snapped. "I'm going down there to clean up your mess, Mike. I knew it was a mistake to have you on this mission. Think of all the babies you killed!"

"I would think of them, if only they existed," said Taylor.

Allyson glared at him, and seemed about to turn away. "There is one more thing. It has come to my attention that you have sent more men down to the embassy."

"Yes, twenty marines, to reinforce the existing garrison. Why?"

"I want them withdrawn immediately," said Allyson. "Their presence provokes even more anger and resentment."

"Allyson, is that really wise, after what just happened-"

"They are your men, Captain, but embassy grounds are my authority," said Allyson. "I'll expect the men removed by the time I get back from the surface. If they're not, I'll take it up with Admiral Chellina and the World Government."

Taylor bit his lip. He knew she had the authority. He had to fight the battles he could win. Reluctantly, he nodded. "It will be done."

"Good," said Allyson, giving him a caustic look. She turned to her assistant. "Monehan, where did you put my burka, dear?"

"Lalalalalalalalalalala!" Allyson Harshbarger cried. She was on her hands and knees in a black burka covering her from head to toe, wailing before the statute of Khalid the Mighty in the Plaza of Martyrs. Khalid held a gleaming sword in one hand, and the head of an infidel in the other.

"Forgive us, mighty Laquinta, for we know not what we have done!" Allyson cried as she bobbed her head up and down in observant prayer.

The bridge crew of the Relentless watched in shocked silence as Allyson made a prayer of atonement.

"We killed many innocents. We have sinned mightily against you, Laquinta! But we beg your forgiveness!" Allyson cried.

Sophie looked around the bridge of the Relentless. She noticed that Taylor's right fist was balled up. He had a hard expression on his face. Lieutenant Garrity looked like he was sucking on something unpleasant. Ensign Takeshita was biting her lips, and silently shaking her head.

They were all angry. As Survey Service members they had taken an oath to defend Earth with their lives. They had lost lives in three successive wars with Ramada and countless skirmishes. And now Allyson was on her hands and knees, begging forgiveness from the very enemy who would see them destroyed.

It was beyond humiliating.

"We are nothing!" Allyson cried. "We are unworthy infidels, oh great Laquinta! Please forgive us! We are the lowest of the low, mere bugs to be squashed under your mighty-"

"Enough!" said Taylor, hitting the mute button on the holocomm.

The bridge crew slowly seemed to relax, a bit. No one spoke for a moment, until-

"I don't understand, sir," said Ensign Redding "The Survey Service fights to defend Earth, and the World Government. And yet she attacks us like we're the enemy."

"We're not fighting to defend her," said Taylor tightly.

Taylor watched as Ann Marie Queen massaged Audrey King. The redhead's top was off, and she was face down on Taylor's couch, while Anne Marie Queen rubbed her back. Audrey's face was framed with a smile as Ann Marie rubbed her back. Taylor smiled slightly as he saw the side of her left breast spilling out of the side of the couch.

And that's how Sophie found them when she entered his quarters.

"My back felt tense," Taylor explained.

Sophie looked at the yeomen and back at him. "And your back can feel better watching Yeoman Queen rub Yeoman King's back?"

"My turn is next," Taylor explained.

"I can probably do a better job than she can," said Sophie.

"You?" said Taylor.

"You?" Ann Marie echoed, looking at Sophie incredulously.

"Take off your shirt and lay face down on your bed," said Sophie. She raised an eyebrow. "Must I make that an order?"

"No, Captain," said Taylor. Taylor, looking as surprised as the yeomen, took off his shirt and lay face down on his cabin bed. Sophie mounted him smoothly and easily, leaning forward on his buttocks as she started to rub his back.

"Oh... oh....." said Taylor.

"Does that feel good?" Sophie asked.

"Yes!" said Taylor. Sophie seemed to know exactly where to rub and precisely how much pressure to apply. "How are you so good at this?"

"Before I entered the Academy I was a professional Comforter," said Sophie, as her hands expertly rubbed his back. "Massage was part of the job."

"Does that mean you're going to show me the other part of your job as well?" Taylor asked. He couldn't believe this. Sophie was rubbing his back and flirting with him!

"Sorry, I can't. I was fired before I learned the other part of the job," said Sophie.

"Why were you fired?" Taylor asked.

"I discovered I was Stripeosexual. I couldn't perform," said Sophie.

"Stripeosexual?"

"I discovered I was only attracted to beings with vivid black and white stripes, like zebras," said Sophie.

Audrey laughed. "You're funny, Sophie!"

For some reason Sophie actually glared at her, before turning her rhythmic attention back to her Captain.

"All right Audrey, do me now," Ann Marie announced. As Audrey King got up, Ann Marie took her top off. The blonde's luscious round breasts looked gorgeous. She lay down on the couch. Audrey hesitated, as she tried to decide whether to reach for her Survey Service day shirt. Finally she shrugged, and, still topless, simply started rubbing Ann Marie's back.

"You're upset by what happened earlier today, aren't you?" said Sophie.

"I guess you wouldn't be much of a Passive Observer if you didn't notice that, right?" Taylor said.

"I guess I wouldn't," said Sophie, rubbing a knot in Taylor's shoulder. He gasped, then relaxed with an 'aaaahh'.

"It just bothers me how we risk our lives for them day in and day out, and this is the thanks we get," said Taylor.

"As you yourself remarked, we are fighting for more than just Allyson Harshbarger," said Sophie.

"True. But when she so publically humiliates us like that...." Taylor shook his head. "I think there's going to be blood on the streets."

"Now you sound like an irlan of Laquinta."

"No, I screan it," said Taylor. "Mark my words, before this is over, there will be bloodshed."

Sophie continued to rub his back. For a few minutes, no one spoke. Then Taylor sat up.

"That felt good. Thank you, Commander."

"You are most welcome, Captain," said Sophie.

Taylor looked her in the eye. "And now, would you like me to rub your back?"

Sophie felt the eyes of two expectant Yeomen on her. She shook her head. "That won't be necessary, sir."

"Don't Passive Observers ever have tense backs, Commander?" Taylor asked. He looked so handsome, sitting up like that with his rugged, hairy man-chest.

"No," said Sophie, heading for the door. "We just observe them."

The embassy was seized.

It happened during the night watch. They didn't even find out until several hours later, when the hostage takers called the ship.

"I am Brother Murshad," said a big man with a long black beard. Behind him were his men, armed with curved swords, and on their knees, embassy officials. Taylor's hands clenched as he saw a Survey Service Marine on his knees, with two black eyes and bruises on the left side of his face. He looked like he had been beaten.

"You're no brother of mine," said Taylor crisply.

Murshad blinked, as if that wasn't the response he had been expecting. "You have profaned against Laquinta."

"What else is new?" Taylor snapped. "Release the hostages."

"You do not give the orders here, Infidel!" Murshad barked, pointing a sword at the holocamera.

At that moment Allyson Harshbarger and her assistant Monehan Janney entered the bridge. She immediately took stock of the situation.

"We want only peace and friendship!" Allyson cried.

"As do we, as peaceful and loving followers of Laquinta," said Murshad.

"Then let us just come to a peaceful accommodation," said Allyson.

"We are civilized people. We would like that as well," said Murshad. "Therefore, I will grant your request. I will free your people. Provided you turn over the three infidels who committed sacrilege against Laquinta."

"You want us to turn over those three women to you?" said Taylor. He shook his head. "We can't do that."

Murshad leaned forward towards the holocamera, and his eyes grew large. "Then the blood of infidels will not run dry until all necks have been exhausted."

The connection faded.

There was silence on the bridge for a moment.

Then Allyson turned to Taylor. "I warned you. I warned you that your overly aggressive, militaristic actions-"

"Commissioner, we can deal with recriminations later," said Taylor. "Right now we have to plan a rescue."

"A rescue?" said Allyson, with a bitter laugh. "They'll all be killed!"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"It so happens that I do."

An hour later they were in the briefing room. The holoimage of Prime Minister Jihadi Nabil was again on their viewer.

"Your Excellency. My dear, dear friend," said Allyson. "We would greatly appreciate your help."

"And I would love to give it," said Nabil. "But your people, in the embassy, have committed a terrible, almost unspeakable crime."

"What do you mean?" Allyson asked.

"They threw copies of the Great Book of Blood in the trash."

"No!" said Allyson.

"Yes," said Nabil. "They were found in a local trash heap, and traced back to your embassy's refuse. Your embassy has thrown dozens of copies of the Book of Blood into the trash! It is a grave offense to our people."

Allyson got to her knees. "I am so, so, incredibly sorry."

Taylor shook his head. He knew that the embassy had a trash atomizer, for its own security. There was no trash pickup at the embassy. But Allyson wouldn't be troubled by inconvenient facts, he knew.

"Sorry is not enough. It is not for me to forgive you," said Prime Minister Nabil. "You must turn over the three infidels."

Allyson tried to get her mouth working. Finally she succeeded. "I'm... I'm sorry, I can't." She swallowed audibly. "Can't we work this out? Try to negotiate? Meet with the people holding our people?"

Nabil paused. "It might be possible," he said. "I will talk to them, and get back to you soon."

His image faded.

An extensive series of negotiations followed, conducted through the Prime Minister's office. The jihadis were willing to negotiate, if Allyson came to them in the embassy. Taylor vetoed that idea, for obvious reasons. Then after more negotiations, the hostage taker agreed to send representatives up to the Relentless, in a shuttlecraft.

Taylor was reluctant to give his agreement. He remembered his experience on the Charleston, when Jihadis had tried to board the ship and take it over.

"If you feel you cannot handle a handful of fanatics who come aboard your ship with advance warning, maybe you should turn over command to someone who can," said Allyson pointedly.

Taylor was forced to relent.

Taylor watched as the shuttle lifted off from the surface and slowly made its way to the Relentless. "Mogadishu One, what is your status?" came the voice of Audrey King, at the comm panel.

"We are coming in on final approach," said the heavily accented voice of the shuttle pilot.

"Captain, have all the preparations been made?" Allyson asked. "The lamb, the kebob, the rice pilaf?"

"All as you requested, Commissioner," said Taylor.

"And the women... all have been confined to their quarters or their posts, so our guests will not be offended by their dress?"

"Also done," said Taylor, watching the shuttle get closer on the holoviewscreen.

"I will handle the negotiations. I don't want you even there," said Allyson. "Your presence will provoke a negative experience."

"Wouldn't want that," said Taylor. "Sophie?"

"Scanning," said Sophie. She paused, then looked up. "You were right, sir. No life signs. But plenty of high explosives."

"Let her rip, Mister Garrity," said Taylor calmly.

The forward megajoulers from the Relentless lanced out. One of them touched the shuttle, and it burst into flame.

"What have you done?" Allyson cried.

"Look at that explosion, Allyson! Really look at it!" said Taylor, pointing to the holoviewscreen. "Notice how big that explosion is? That's about ten times what we would expect from blowing up an empty shuttle." He stared at her scornfully. "It was a trap."

"And you knew it?"

"Of course," said Taylor scornfully.

"Do you realize how bad you've made me look?" said Allyson. "Now they can claim we are the aggressors! Our negotiating position has been severely weakened!"

"I feel so badly about that," said Taylor.​