Update 02
The mysterious lover Shiva became her soul mate. Being loved and desired by a man, younger to her by fourteen years is thrilling and exciting for her. His letters evoked her dormant romantic feelings surface, her banal and carnal desires aroused, awakened, incited and provoked. It didn't take long to realize how wonderfully he is tuning her and prompting her mind to think about her own unsatisfied sexual desires and needs. She began falling in love with the mysterious lover, whom she never met. She thought, 'I have been going through some kind of sex drought. I am hungry and ravenous. All I want is to meet this mysterious lover. He can only satisfy me.'
She could not resist. Her mind is occupied by him and with his thoughts. Every day she read his letters many a time. Each time she could interpret the meaning of words in a new way and got more and more excited. The more she read his letters the desire intensified and aroused her like reading an erotic explicit pornographic story. The urge to express, to convey and to communicate with him and reciprocate has become uncontrollable. Every time she read his letters she became wet with uncontrollable desire. She want to share her feelings with him. Once she started writing, her thoughts are flowing out as if water gushes out when the gates are opened in dam. Her deep rooted memories, dreams, desires, longings which she thought long forgotten and resting at the bottom of her mind surfaced and became more pronounced.
She wrote and rewrote many a time to finalize the letter putting her thoughts into words. Finally she wrote as the thoughts came out without editing uninhibitedly. It was as if she is rediscovering her own psyche and her inner self. The process of writing the letter to him is like catharsis, ablution, abreaction, cleansing, expurgation, purgation, purification, release, and lustration. She felt like he is her alter ego. Thinking of the unknown lover while writing, she got so much aroused with immense desire and she had to masturbate many a time massaging her clit and inserting her fingers in to her cunt deep to orgasm before continuing writing the letter.
Chapter 4
Shyamalavthy reply to Shiva
Dear Sir
I am amazed, astounded, surprised and puzzled to receive such detailed beautifully handwritten lovely erotic letters on aesthetic stationery from you, daily for the last one week expressing your intense love and immense desire for me. Who are you? How do you know me?
I am forty seven year old, widowed fifteen days back. I have two daughters of marriageable age and a son. Your letters did not indicate the fact that you know about my widow status. I am happy to know that you have been in love with me for the last ten years. It is definitely a pleasure for me to know that a man has been admiring, appreciating and loving me with immense desire silently and secretly for ten years without any encouragement from me. Ten Years is a long time for an young man to sustain and continue such an intense love and deep desire without reciprocation from a lover.
I am amazed that you have been giving me love without expecting anything from me in return till now. You have been giving perhaps a lot more than you initially thought and now want to begin experiencing the flow of reciprocity. What are you expecting from me? What do you want from me? I do not know whether I truly deserve your intense love. You have demonstrated by waiting for ten years that your love is true and mature and not just infatuation. I realize that you really love me so much. Why have you been waiting for ten years my dear lover?
I wonder why did you choose to reveal now expressing your love for me. Is it that, you are aware that I have recently become a widow and hence an easily available woman for your enjoyment and sexual pleasure? Do I look like a woman who needs regular sex and ready to have an affair immediately of acquiring widowhood? How do you know that I am not grieving. I wonder whether it is so apparent and obvious on my face and in my behavior that I am looking for a lover now for sexual pleasure? The post mark on your letters indicate that you are not from this town. I cannot recall having acquaintance with you or knowing you. I also wonder, is it a mistaken identity? Are you sure it is me you have been and are still in love. You may have been in love with some other younger beautiful and sexy woman from this college, and got the name wrongly. But I feel It is me you are seeking and not a mistaken identity. I wonder why me? Do you like me so much?
You say that you have been in deep love with me for the last ten years. You could have informed me then. Why did you not inform your love for me ten years back? Why did you wait for so many years? Perhaps you have seen me when I was thirty six old and fell in love with me being infatuated and attracted by my beauty. Have you seen me recently? Now I am a matured woman and may not be as beautiful and sexy as I was. Have you been waiting for me to become a widow? what would you have done if I have not become a widow? I wonder whether you would have remained as silent lover forever, had i not become a widow. Should I feel happy that I became a widow and hence you thought I am available for you.
Eleven years ago, I was at Technical Teachers' Training Institute (TTTI), Madras for one year Faculty Improvement Program(FIP), staying alone without husband in hostel. Do you know me in Madras? Are you one of my ex-colleague or ex-student? Are you younger or elder to me? The intensity of your romantic love and erotic desire expressed explicitly in your letters so beautifully make me think that you are younger to me. So many unanswered questions in my mind.
You might be aware that I have been leading a respectable life with dignity and social status. If your letters to my college address are opened by others, it would scandalize me receiving such explicit erotic romantic love letters at this age from a man. Being a widow, I am an easy target for gossip. There are gossipmongers who are jealous and envious of me in my college and especially in my department. I hope you do not want to scandalize me. I have two daughters of marriageable age and do not wish to get remarried. Having clandestine love affair now at this age disgraces me in the society.
I appreciate your knowledge, language skills, effective and succinct use of erotic words and phrases, tone and clarity of your poetic writing style to communicate romantically and erotically your intense love and immense desire for me. I am sure you are a highly educated romantic and creative and passionate person. Reading your letters is like reading an erotic romantic novel. I feel like a teenage girl while reading your letters. Thank you for choosing and showering me with such an honor of praise, admiration and adoration of my beauty. Despite having arousal romantic feelings influenced, induced, and invoked by your ardent adoration and admiration and at the same time consequences of accepting you as a lover and soul mate into my life at this age, you obviously won my heart.
You have been seeing me for the last ten years and must have been aware of the changes in my body. I am used to many men including my male colleagues, young students and strangers gaze at me obviously with sexual desire. Some men even made indecent proposals to me suggesting extramarital affair. But I remained a faithful wife without having any extramarital illicit affair. Do you think being a widow, I am now an easily available woman for your pleasure? I wonder whether all the men gazing at me are thinking so? Is it that I look like a sexually starved and hungry for sex for every man. I have been faithful in the marriage and did not have any extramarital affairs despite the fact I did not have happy married life and my husband could never satisfy me physically and psychologically.
I have been living a life as a wife without having love in marriage. I wonder many a time, Is it true that the love between a man and woman exists as described in romantic novels. Is the relationship between man and woman, be a marriage or having extramarital affair is a convenient arrangement to satisfy mutual physical desires. I realize like most of the women that having children in marriage is not a sign of having good and satisfying sex. I learned to live without romance, having my physical and psychological desires unfulfilled.
Many women experience similar phenomenon and stay married for the sake of children and society. Some may opt for divorce and remarriage. I am not young, I cannot think of remarriage at this age, Even if I opt for remarriage, there is no possibility that I get a man who can love me and satisfy my desires. Even if I remarry to a man elder to me, how can my desires be fully satisfied? I am having so many thoughts confusing and conflicting. The society do not appreciate and approve remarriage at my age, having young daughters of marriageable age. The society also do not approve having an affair with a man that too with an younger man.
Your letters are filled with intimate details and descriptions of various Kamasutra positions. I assume you want to try all these coitus positions with me. In your letters, you have not been requesting for my love. It surprises me that you are commanding me, as if I have been your lover or mistress for a long time. You have been ordering me to open up my mind to you and share my secret thoughts and desires. Sharing my innermost feelings and thoughts with anyone else scares me because I may be misunderstood. Why are you so confident that I accept you as my lover? I am sharing all my secret thoughts with you now, because now I accept you as my soul mate.
You have become a mysterious man and definitely aroused and awakened my romantic love feelings and sexual desires. I now believe true romantic love exists. Honestly, you have already invaded me, opened me, and entered me, penetrated me and occupied my mind fully without my permission. The penetration is so deep, touching the core, to the bottom of my mind I have been forced to think of you ever since you wrote your first letter. You have occupied my mind and intervened so effectively that I cannot think of anything else except you. I am surprised at my own self, even before I start sorting out my feelings and enjoying the freedom of my newly acquired status of widowhood that I am influenced by you and awakened to think of love and sexual pleasure. It is as if I have been waiting eagerly to be a widow to start a love affair with you.
When I read your letters, I feel you, feel your love as if you are touching me, cuddling me, and embracing me and feeling and exploring every part of my body. Sometimes, I think and feel you are communicating with me through Telepathy. You are reaching my mind effectively transferring mind-to-mind communication, thoughts, ideas, feelings, sensations and mental images. I feel you are reaching me through your mystic telepathic power whenever you want, because I feel your presence as if you are there with me and my mind and body is filled with pleasurable sensations.. I can feel the waves of your love surrounding me. I can feel and sense you that you are watching me. You are making me to think about you always. telepathically.
I feel you are sending sexual love and making love to me telepathically, because whenever I think of you, I feel aroused and stimulated and body responds uncontrollably with desire. Yesterday, when I was taking bath nude and later on dressing, I felt you were with me, in me, into me, watching me, touching me, fondling me, kissing me, entering me, exploring me, and opening me, Did you make love to me at that time? It may be my imagination, but I think you tune the frequency of my mind and send your waves of desires telepathically to me and receive my inner thoughts. I cannot help or control thinking of you and feel your presence sometimes when I am in the midst of people, in the college, in the classroom teaching or at home, suddenly you enter my mind and I feel your presence in me, around me and with me and my body responds. Sometimes it is an embarrassment to conceal the waves of pleasure, when I feel your presence with me, surrounding me, because my juices flow out, dripping on to my thighs. I become wet and cannot stand or walk. My petticoat becomes wet.
Thank you for your sustained love for so many years. I am curious to know how do you know me, what do you know of and about me, and where did we meet, Do you still love and desire me with the same intensity? I would have accepted your love had you informed me eleven years back when I was at TTTI. But you were there one year later. I was staying in the Hostel away from husband. I could have been your lover all these years, had I met you eleven years back. I missed the opportunity to meet you then and experience your intense love and romantic all these years. It would have been wonderful. I would have been happy to be owned by you, to belong to you, to be your mistress. I wonder how many women do you own. Have I become the latest acquisition and a member of your harem.
My reawakening immediately after my husband died and receiving your love letters really surprised me. I am ready from expecting to be done with sex to having an intense physical relationship, to experimenting in a way I never had when I was younger and married, and finally, to being with You. But more importantly, rediscovering my sexuality helped me to be open to enjoying life again, and to look at new things with curiosity instead of judgment. I think I am now ready for you. The change in my outlook about life and the way I think is now pronominally conspicuous, incomprehensible, inconceivable, incredible, notable, noticeable, prominent, remarkable, outstanding, salient, striking, strange, unimaginable, unthinkable it reflects in all aspects of my living. You are the only reason for influencing the changes and transformation in me to become a new confident person. Surprisingly, even my children are happy noticing the positive change in me and they know it is you who invoked me to become a more confident sexy sizzling sensuous woman. Had I known that you have been waiting for me to become free from marriage, I could have divorced my late husband to be your lover or enjoyed having extramarital relationship with you.
I should admit honestly that I am in love with you, Shiva, my mysterious and unknown lover. Your powerful love activated, animated, energized, enlivened, excited, fortified, galvanized, invoked, inspired, induced, invigorated, reinforced, rejuvenated, restored, revitalized strengthened, vitalized, renewed, roused, stirred, triggered, vivified, and zapped up my faith in true love and turned me on sexually. I am waiting for you to explore me.
I read about the detail description, characteristics and qualities of different types and categories of women. I prefer to hear from you what type of woman I am, after exploring me. You successfully made me realize my own psyche and now I wonder what you will find in me - physically and psychologically and how you would classify me. I am not bothered how would you classify me, because I want to be loved and desired by you. I am longing to meet you, to see you, to be with you, to experience your love and to reciprocate your feelings. I am anxious to present myself and want you to see the changes in me. I want to share with you all I have and all that I can give. I want to give you myself without hesitation or inhibitions.
You said, I am like a Kakinada Kaja. How do you know? You have not bitten and eaten me yet. You have not tasted me. How do you know that I am juicy at the core. Is it obvious for you that I am full of juice inside, easy to bite and eat. You definitely make my juices overflow so much that I become wet reading your letters and become a rasagulla soaked in sweet syrup. I imagine you biting me and slurping my juice.
I may be the Karini type of woman having most of the qualities as you described. I want you to tell me. You might have enjoyed all types of woman of all ages. Do you prefer mature woman like me much elder to you.
Anxiously await your creative detailed descriptive animating awakening beautiful besieging bewitching captivating commanding delightful demanding enchanting enthralling enticing energizing engaging erotic exciting exhilarating fascinating fabulous fortifying inducing influencing inspiring invoking indulgent inciting interesting intoxicating invigorative informative lovely luring naughty provoking pleasurable raunchy refreshing rejuvenating reviving seducing stimulating stirring tempting thrilling uninhibited reply.
Every day I await your letter, read and experience your love which gives pleasure and new meaning to my life.
Please reply to my residential address which is given below.
Sincerely Yours
Kakinada Kaja - K. Shyamalavathy
Chapter 5 - Shiva's reply
My dear sweet sexy sizzling Shyamala,
Shyamala, you asked me, "Do I look like a woman who needs sex and ready to have an affair within two weeks of acquiring widowhood? I wonder whether it is so apparent and obvious on my face, in my behavior that I am looking for a lover now?"
Yes. You definitely look like a woman who needs to be fucked, not after becoming a widow but even before. Its apparent on your face and your body language that you want a man to satisfy your insatiable desires.
I know that you cannot think of anything else except me after reading my letters and receiving my love. You are experiencing power of my love and my intense desire for you. As we become older, we know more about ourselves and what we want, what we can tolerate and what we cannot. Falling in love later in life can be a lot less confusing just because we know ourselves better. I think we have a better idea what we desire from a partner, so perhaps identifying a compatible lover is little easier too. I do not hesitate to state that it is physical attraction, fatal infatuation and intense desire for you that sustained my love for you.
In a conscious romantic loving relationship, there's room to feel anything. Not only that, there's room to express those feelings and fantasies to your partner. This is edgy territory. it's not easy to do. But it's also one of the most healing things we can experience in love. It's rare to be completely honest about who you are, and to stretch yourself to let your partner do the same. You may not like what you hear, in fact, it may trigger the hell out of you. But you're willing to be triggered if it means your partner can be authentic.
You asked whether I am transferring my feelings of love and desire for you telepathically and making love to you. You may wonder, 'Is my lover thinking about me?' Yes I am communicating with you telepathically. You will know if you listen to your thoughts. we can experience a pleasure that lifts the soul and catapults it across galaxies, taking it to a place of beauty that exists as a secret of nature. And a secret of nature is what true sexual pleasure is. Much more than the physical experience of sex, which is about friction of body parts, psychic and telepathic sex is among the highest expressions of Love, Harmony, and Beauty -- it is the result of merging thoughts, auras, and souls in a dimension that is within our grasp, yet out of this world. How we get there, however, requires complete openness and trust; it also requires practice and patience. I encourage you to try to enter my thoughts so that you may share in the pleasure I feel as you send thoughts of your sexual pleasure to me. I am happy to know that you received my feelings of making love to you.
My Sexy Sensuous Shyamala, Sit and concentrate, visualizing me entering you, inside of you, at that the stage of physical intimacy just before climax; holding my manhood inside firmly. Keep those thoughts for as long as you can, sending thoughts of your pleasure while receiving them - importantly, share. It is the sharing that brings supreme pleasure, which exists at a deeply psychic level. In this dimension of thought and knowing, send whatever thoughts and emotions you are feeling to me, expressing your love and admiration for me, telling me how you feel - express all of it, even if there are tears, just express.
Through practice, you will know when I am thinking of you and I will know when you are thinking of me. There will be no question, there will be just love, there will be pure bliss, there will be a release and experience of pure joy. Experience me. I am with you whenever you think of me, though not physically. But you can feel me with you and in you.
You are an erotic beauty. Every inch of you exudes raw sexuality. You seduce with your eyes, that slight smile, walking style and your mannerisms. Despite that fact you are elder to me by fourteen years and that you are a widow now makes me think that our relationship can flourish now. I can marry you and make you my wife for which you may say that society does not accept and approve. We can be lovers and soul mates forever. Do you think having clandestine love affair at this stage of your life is improper, immoral and illicit. You know very well that age does not matter.
In fact sexual intercourse between a matured woman and young man is more pleasurable. Come to me my darling, I will show you the heaven, make all your sexual dreams and fantasies come true. I envy the men who has the opportunity to see and enjoy your beautiful sexy figure every day. Had I met you eleven years ago, at Madras during your one year FIP, I would have definitely seduced and fucked you then, you would have happily become my lover committing adultery having an extramarital affair cheating your husband and betraying him. We could have enjoyed one year of living and fucking together. Later on he could have even enjoyed seeing you fucked by me. He would not have objected to your parallel extramarital relationship with me. You could have turned your husband to be a Voyeur and Cuckold. He would happily become your slave. You missed the opportunity.
It is not obvious how to explain this phenomenon as emotions are typically partial and exclusive. This is especially so in romantic love which requires a lot of energy and resources. People sometimes express the difficulty in loving two people at the same time, by posing it as a logical contradiction: "He cannot romantically love both me and her at the same time."
A plausible way of explaining this difficulty is to claim that romantic love is based upon a few significant characteristics of the beloved, and hence loving more than one person at a time may not be entirely unfeasible, as the additional love would be based upon a different set of characteristics, and thus the two loves could be considered complementary rather than contradictory. Another context for such polyamorous love is having two or more romantic relationships which are at a different stage: one could be at the infatuation stage and the other at a later, more mature stage. It seems that there is no logical contradiction in romantically loving two or more people at the same time, and the issue here is psychological, as it generates profound emotional dissonance. The dissonance stems from the fact that by definition, emotions demand partiality, that is, the preference of one over another, which entails some sort of exclusivity. Emotionally, it is extremely painful to imagine your lover in the arms of another person. Indeed, most of those who are being romantically in love or having multiple lovers with two or more people at the same time and pleased with the experience also claimed that they would do not find it enormously difficult and is possible, to share their beloved with someone else.
How can human society cope with such emotional dissonances? One approach may be to adapt our accepted norms concerning romantic and sexual exclusivity to reflect the occasional dissonances of our reality, a change which has indeed begun to take place in modern society. People now allow their spouses to have more freedom in their personal relationships with others, and attitude is more flexible also concerning sex. In many societies extramarital sex is disapproved socially, nevertheless, the transgressor is only mildly criticized for such activity. Indeed, extramarital affairs begin to be described in more neutral terms. Instead of the highly negative terms of adultery and betrayal, some people begin to use the more neutral term of parallel relationships. I have had parallel relationships with women without any problems.
I met your colleague Lakshmi eleven years ago at Technical Teachers Training Institute (TTTI), Madras while she was doing FIP, and she became my lover. I used to fuck her during that one year and continued thereafter. I know both you and Lakshmi are not on friendly terms. Ten years back, during one of my visits to Lakshmi I saw you. I fell in love with you at the first sight. It was fatal attraction and I decided to have you as mine. Lakshmi told me that before marriage, you used to come to college with your hair in two braids. The image of you in my mind in two braids at the age of twenty two was thrilling and exciting, I am anxious to see you now in two braids. I have been aware of animosity between two of you. Strangely, She was the reason I had the opportunity to see you. She is aware of my intense desire for you. I think, the reason of animosity between two of you is that 'both of you are beautiful and sexy'. You envy her because she was bold to divorce her inept tormenting husband, and has been able to get a lover of her choice, which you could not do. Now you know that I love you and desire you, envious feelings about Lakshmi should cease and both of should become my loving mistresses and sisters in sin.
I have seen you few days after your husband's demise when you came to Lakshmi 's house. There was no sadness or grief in your eyes. I saw immense relief in you. Despite being a new widow you are looking happy and beautiful exuding raw sexuality. You aroused my intense deep carnal desire for you. It is visible that the sudden demise of your husband brought out the real woman hidden inside you. I know that you were ready for me, and now available for me. You ready to be mine. I was sure that you noticed the desire for you in my eyes when I looked at you. I recognized the pent up desire in you and the real you in you. I think you are have felt that your wishful thinking became true when your husband died. It may sound sadistic and cruel but you can tell me. You are now free to do and live the way you desire. Your thoughts now are free galloping like wild horse with new found freedom.
You are like a wild horse. You need to be tamed. I am the man who can tame you. I know you are in an emotional and biological need that must be gratified. The perception of need begins with a rise in emotional intensity, you feel more strongly about being with someone who loves you, dominates you, protects you and possess you. As the intensity increases, it can feel like you need to have it, for one compelling reason: It's the same emotional process as biological need. When emotion suddenly rises, your biological needs increases. In other words, the perception of need becomes self-reinforcing: "I feel it, therefore, I need it, and if I need it, I have to feel it more."To love freely and safely, get in touch with your deepest desires, lurking beneath surface feelings of loneliness. Your deepest desires will lead you to a relationship with me based on compassion, kindness, fairness, intimacy, and love, rather than temporary excitement or relief from shame and loneliness. Do not be ashamed to recognize your need. You need a man who can tame you. It is me who can tame you. Any other man ca not tame you, control you, and dominate you. You need me.
You will enjoy the erotic humiliation by me. You are ultimate bitch and a Cunt. You need to be humiliated, degraded by me so that you realize what you really are. I urge you to awaken your erotic life. Embracing your erotic soul and deepening the intimacy in your life is both a consequence of deep presence and its gift. Healing yourself in your deepest erotic space can only be a deliberate act, and the doing of it miraculously heals everything else. Tapping into the courage to know your own deepest sexual thoughts and feelings, and offering them with your whole being, is both a life work and lasting gift.
Shyamala, You may wonder why am I using erotic filthy dirty obscene abusive words. I know you like them. If you want a simple answer, it is because You have come to recognize humiliation or humiliating treatment as a sexual behavior in the same way that most others would recognize flirting, or personal contact, or even a style of revealing dress or other behavior. You like a man to be in charge. All sex has an emotional aspect and humiliation is a very powerful emotion. You like humiliation and have probably learned to associate belittling treatment with the sex you are attracted to. It is possible this could come from trauma, but it may more commonly come from the personalities they have encountered in early life. It may be perhaps that you were abused in your childhood by a relative. You were definitely mistreated and abused by your husband. This desire is fairly common. So far you did not enjoy submission and humiliation.
The liking of humiliation varies from just enjoying some very specific fantasies, up to a liking for extreme and repeated mistreatment, but despite this it is really just part of the emotional aspect of human sexuality, though it can become quite addictive and a problem in some people. For you I am there to guide, direct, command, teach you to enjoy your journey of erotic humiliation.
Do you want to further waste your life living like a celibate without pleasure thinking of ethics, morals, traditions and social restrictions. Are you afraid of the disgrace that you may face socially and consequences, if you are in love affair now.
Men around you may be looking at you with desire but do not have capacity to recognize the real adventurous, amative, amazing, amorous, aphrodisiac, ardent, aroused, bewitching, carnal, concupiscent, desirous, enchanting, erotic, exotic, fascinating, fervid, hot, kinky, lascivious, libidinous, loving, lustful, lubricious, maudlin, romantic, passionate, prurient, sexy, sensual, steamy, stimulated, slut, sultry, voluptuous, wanton, wild, wistful person hidden in you. I recognized the hidden qualities in you long back and I want to have you as mine and I am sure you want to be mine.
I will help you to be a desirable and dazzling woman instead of desolate, sexy instead of being a seclusive, raunchy instead of being reclusive woman, and celebrate every moment of your life instead of being a celibate. So let's celebrate everything we are and everything we have with mind, body and soul! Once you learn to enjoy, you will not be afraid of the society, you will be confident and proud to announce to the world that you are now having an affair with young lover in your life.
My desire for you is so intense, many a time I wish I could have been your Neighbor, Colleague, Student or one of your family member, may be a Uncle, Uncle's son, Cousin, Brother, Brother-in-law, Nephew, Step-son or Son so that I can see you, talk to you, have you and know the real you in you. You may feel that I am thinking of taboo incestuous relationship with you. Whatever the relationship I want to have you. even if its incestuous, immoral, and taboo. You are celebration of feminine sexuality. Our relationship extends beyond this life. Perhaps we were related in our earlier janmas. You might have been my Mother, Aunt, Sister, Sister-in-law, Mother-in-law, Cousin, Lover, wife, Mistress or even Courtesan.
I would like to know you - your mind and body. What are the most sensitive erogenous zones of your body. I will find out when we meet. I will explore each and every minute part of your body and mind to know you. You may be thinking whether I will be able to satisfy your insatiable desires. Your mouth and pouting thick lips indicate that you have large and deep Cunt, thick cunt lips and prominent protruding big clitoris. You will be able to take a big horse's cock and needs to be fucked for very long time to reach vaginal, clitoral and whole body orgasm. I am endowed with humongously hung long thick fat monstrous magnificent special cock with huge knob. Your cunt will stretched, torn, deepened, widened once I fuck you. I will fuck you baby, so much that you plead for mercy. You will love it so much that you will become my slave, baby.
Women are the receiving sex and women want to submit to a dominant man. The shared animating impulse described by all these ideas is the innate compulsion of women to be desired. Desired so strongly that a man loses control of himself. Women are, by their very nature, irredeemably solipsistic, and this solipsism is a function of their genetic prime directive: to use their bodies and their beauty to capture the seed and the services of a high value man. This aspect of female sexuality explains the prevalence of Ra*e fantasies in the female fantasy repertoire. Ra*e fantasies, in this understanding, are actually fantasies about surrender, not out of masochistic yearnings to be harmed or punished, but out of the female desire to be desired by a man to the point of driving him out of control.
There are plenty of women who yearn to be punished, even if their yearning operates mostly on the subconscious level of cognition, It's as if a woman's desire to be desired is, when taken to extremes, warped into a need for punishing treatment as the only demonstrations of male desire that will mean anything to her. I want to fulfill your desires. You are submissive by nature and realize and bring out the real self from subconscious level.
Lovingly Your Master
Shiva
P.S:
Your date of Birth September 14, indicates that your Zodiac sign is Virgo. Virgos have a deep buried sensuality. Outwardly they maintain a cool and calm composure but buried deep inside are great passions. Virgos are very choosy about their lover. In sexual relationship they are very caring and controlling too and can make their partner feel the most wanted person on the earth. They are perfectionists and secretive by nature. The sexual relationship with a Virgo lover may not be a bed of roses. The effort has to be made to unearth and stir the deep buried passions and then you become the vortex of their life.
Chapter 6
TTTI-FIP
Lakshmi, a former student later became colleague of Shyamalavathy in the same department was not on friendly terms with her. Both stay in the opposite houses in the colony. Forty year old Lakshmi, a beautiful lean sexy divorcee with knee length hair has been a mistress of Shiva for eleven years. They met in Madras when Lakshmi was doing one year FIP. They were staying in TTTI hostel.
Technical Teachers Training Institute (TTTI) is also known as 'Tantalizing Temptress Teachers Institute.' Most of the women lecturers from various colleges who opt one year Faculty Improvement Program (FIP) on deputation are Single, Unmarried, Spinsters, Married but unhappy, Married and Separated, divorced or Widows. They are away from family and place work and their known environment for one year and free to acquire and enjoy lovers. They are hungry for sex and look for a mate. Extramarital affairs and illicit sex relationships happen during the FIP. FIP is also known as 'Fucking included Program.'
Some of the women who come to TTTI for one year FIP may not have intentions initially to acquire lovers, have extramarital affairs and enjoy sex. Convenience, Proximity and opportunity influence and induce them to look for sexual adventures. Both men and women live in the same hostel having common mess and common indoor auditorium. Men and Women opt for this one year FIP, to improve their knowledge and teaching methodologies and also as a prerequisite for their career advancement. Whether they really are benefited improving their pedagogical skills, most certainly they improve their tantalizing skills enjoying the freedom and sex with new partners immensely. Once they go back to their home towns they continue their established affairs or use effectively and implement newly acquired erotic skills during one year FIP to acquire more lovers and to have adulterous, amorous, clandestine, illicit, illegitimate, secret and extramarital affairs. They become more tantalizing temptress, provocative, sexy and seductive. The sexual experiences during FIP make them more hungry for sex looking for variety in sex and normally will have multiple partners. Some of them of use these acquired skills for the advancement of their career using sex once they go back. There is lot of competition for women at TTTI since the number of women are less compared to men. Women can select the partners as per their choice and desire. Some Women FIP candidates change their lovers in that one year and some women have multiple lovers concurrently.
I joined as a Research scholar in the adjoining CSIR Research Institute. Since the Institute I joined did not have Hostel facilities, We were provided hostel facilities in TTTI on request.
Lakshmi, a Lecturer aged 29, a divorcee, mother of a six year old son, joined FIP. Being a divorce and celibate for four years, TTTIFIP program offered the best opportunity. Lakshmi is 160 cm tall, lean, skinny fair woman with oily smooth, clear, unblemished and radiant glowing skin, beautiful round face, well defined thick eye brows, large expressive eyes, full wide mouth, juicy thick lips. Her lower lip being thicker is very exciting and erotic. She has smooth neck, thin long smooth arms, and long artistic fingers. Her breasts hung from lean chest and big nipples extend out of her slender lean frame made her brazenly top heavy. Her very narrow thin taut waist curvaceously spread onto firm bottom and hemispherical protruding round hips. Her bewitchingly beautiful, tantalizing thick, long, soft, silky, jet-black, lustrous, shining, wavy, voluminous and uniformly thick hair reaches her knees. Her lean curvaceous body firm yet full at the bosom and wide hips and long legs are erotic. She has blemish less radiant and glowing smooth translucent skin. She is extremely curvy with everything being tight, toned, and feminine, with low body fat, low BMI, extremely narrow thin waist and wide hips. She has sweet, melodious sexy voice. She is every inch an exuberant,, sexy, sensuous, vivacious, glowing and exuding and oozing charming feminine sexuality.
Lakshmi was at her sexual peak. She befriended and fell deeply in love with Shiva. Shiva got attracted to her. She needs man to fuck and satisfy her sexual desires. They soon became lovers. He especially liked Lakshmi's knee length thick hair. Lakshmi is wild in bed and Shankhini woman. The hostel was common for both men and women. For one year Lakshmi enjoyed fucking with Shiva. They used to go to movies and outing on weekends. She actually started treating Shiva as her husband. They went to Tirumala and stayed there for three days in the cottage. It was like a honeymoon. They stayed a cottage at Golden beach for two nights and enjoyed fucking on a full moon night on the beach. They have five day week. Every weekend, over the course of their year-long honeymoon, Lakshmi and her lover husband Shiva visited Kanchipuram, Madurai, Kodaikanal, Ooty, Connor, Thanjavur, Mahabaleswaram, Rameswaram, Coimbatore, Tuticorin, Tirunelveli and Kanyakumari. On some weekends Subhalakshmi Lakshmi colleague another FIP candidate also joined them.
After the one year FIP program, Lakshmi went to her home town. Shiva used to visit her place regularly. She introduced him to all her friends inviting them for Lunch or dinner when he visited. Everyone in the College, Colony and her family know about the affair between Lakshmi and Shiva. Lakshmi told everyone that She is Shiva's mistress.
She could not resist. Her mind is occupied by him and with his thoughts. Every day she read his letters many a time. Each time she could interpret the meaning of words in a new way and got more and more excited. The more she read his letters the desire intensified and aroused her like reading an erotic explicit pornographic story. The urge to express, to convey and to communicate with him and reciprocate has become uncontrollable. Every time she read his letters she became wet with uncontrollable desire. She want to share her feelings with him. Once she started writing, her thoughts are flowing out as if water gushes out when the gates are opened in dam. Her deep rooted memories, dreams, desires, longings which she thought long forgotten and resting at the bottom of her mind surfaced and became more pronounced.
She wrote and rewrote many a time to finalize the letter putting her thoughts into words. Finally she wrote as the thoughts came out without editing uninhibitedly. It was as if she is rediscovering her own psyche and her inner self. The process of writing the letter to him is like catharsis, ablution, abreaction, cleansing, expurgation, purgation, purification, release, and lustration. She felt like he is her alter ego. Thinking of the unknown lover while writing, she got so much aroused with immense desire and she had to masturbate many a time massaging her clit and inserting her fingers in to her cunt deep to orgasm before continuing writing the letter.
Chapter 4
Shyamalavthy reply to Shiva
Dear Sir
I am amazed, astounded, surprised and puzzled to receive such detailed beautifully handwritten lovely erotic letters on aesthetic stationery from you, daily for the last one week expressing your intense love and immense desire for me. Who are you? How do you know me?
I am forty seven year old, widowed fifteen days back. I have two daughters of marriageable age and a son. Your letters did not indicate the fact that you know about my widow status. I am happy to know that you have been in love with me for the last ten years. It is definitely a pleasure for me to know that a man has been admiring, appreciating and loving me with immense desire silently and secretly for ten years without any encouragement from me. Ten Years is a long time for an young man to sustain and continue such an intense love and deep desire without reciprocation from a lover.
I am amazed that you have been giving me love without expecting anything from me in return till now. You have been giving perhaps a lot more than you initially thought and now want to begin experiencing the flow of reciprocity. What are you expecting from me? What do you want from me? I do not know whether I truly deserve your intense love. You have demonstrated by waiting for ten years that your love is true and mature and not just infatuation. I realize that you really love me so much. Why have you been waiting for ten years my dear lover?
I wonder why did you choose to reveal now expressing your love for me. Is it that, you are aware that I have recently become a widow and hence an easily available woman for your enjoyment and sexual pleasure? Do I look like a woman who needs regular sex and ready to have an affair immediately of acquiring widowhood? How do you know that I am not grieving. I wonder whether it is so apparent and obvious on my face and in my behavior that I am looking for a lover now for sexual pleasure? The post mark on your letters indicate that you are not from this town. I cannot recall having acquaintance with you or knowing you. I also wonder, is it a mistaken identity? Are you sure it is me you have been and are still in love. You may have been in love with some other younger beautiful and sexy woman from this college, and got the name wrongly. But I feel It is me you are seeking and not a mistaken identity. I wonder why me? Do you like me so much?
You say that you have been in deep love with me for the last ten years. You could have informed me then. Why did you not inform your love for me ten years back? Why did you wait for so many years? Perhaps you have seen me when I was thirty six old and fell in love with me being infatuated and attracted by my beauty. Have you seen me recently? Now I am a matured woman and may not be as beautiful and sexy as I was. Have you been waiting for me to become a widow? what would you have done if I have not become a widow? I wonder whether you would have remained as silent lover forever, had i not become a widow. Should I feel happy that I became a widow and hence you thought I am available for you.
Eleven years ago, I was at Technical Teachers' Training Institute (TTTI), Madras for one year Faculty Improvement Program(FIP), staying alone without husband in hostel. Do you know me in Madras? Are you one of my ex-colleague or ex-student? Are you younger or elder to me? The intensity of your romantic love and erotic desire expressed explicitly in your letters so beautifully make me think that you are younger to me. So many unanswered questions in my mind.
You might be aware that I have been leading a respectable life with dignity and social status. If your letters to my college address are opened by others, it would scandalize me receiving such explicit erotic romantic love letters at this age from a man. Being a widow, I am an easy target for gossip. There are gossipmongers who are jealous and envious of me in my college and especially in my department. I hope you do not want to scandalize me. I have two daughters of marriageable age and do not wish to get remarried. Having clandestine love affair now at this age disgraces me in the society.
I appreciate your knowledge, language skills, effective and succinct use of erotic words and phrases, tone and clarity of your poetic writing style to communicate romantically and erotically your intense love and immense desire for me. I am sure you are a highly educated romantic and creative and passionate person. Reading your letters is like reading an erotic romantic novel. I feel like a teenage girl while reading your letters. Thank you for choosing and showering me with such an honor of praise, admiration and adoration of my beauty. Despite having arousal romantic feelings influenced, induced, and invoked by your ardent adoration and admiration and at the same time consequences of accepting you as a lover and soul mate into my life at this age, you obviously won my heart.
You have been seeing me for the last ten years and must have been aware of the changes in my body. I am used to many men including my male colleagues, young students and strangers gaze at me obviously with sexual desire. Some men even made indecent proposals to me suggesting extramarital affair. But I remained a faithful wife without having any extramarital illicit affair. Do you think being a widow, I am now an easily available woman for your pleasure? I wonder whether all the men gazing at me are thinking so? Is it that I look like a sexually starved and hungry for sex for every man. I have been faithful in the marriage and did not have any extramarital affairs despite the fact I did not have happy married life and my husband could never satisfy me physically and psychologically.
I have been living a life as a wife without having love in marriage. I wonder many a time, Is it true that the love between a man and woman exists as described in romantic novels. Is the relationship between man and woman, be a marriage or having extramarital affair is a convenient arrangement to satisfy mutual physical desires. I realize like most of the women that having children in marriage is not a sign of having good and satisfying sex. I learned to live without romance, having my physical and psychological desires unfulfilled.
Many women experience similar phenomenon and stay married for the sake of children and society. Some may opt for divorce and remarriage. I am not young, I cannot think of remarriage at this age, Even if I opt for remarriage, there is no possibility that I get a man who can love me and satisfy my desires. Even if I remarry to a man elder to me, how can my desires be fully satisfied? I am having so many thoughts confusing and conflicting. The society do not appreciate and approve remarriage at my age, having young daughters of marriageable age. The society also do not approve having an affair with a man that too with an younger man.
Your letters are filled with intimate details and descriptions of various Kamasutra positions. I assume you want to try all these coitus positions with me. In your letters, you have not been requesting for my love. It surprises me that you are commanding me, as if I have been your lover or mistress for a long time. You have been ordering me to open up my mind to you and share my secret thoughts and desires. Sharing my innermost feelings and thoughts with anyone else scares me because I may be misunderstood. Why are you so confident that I accept you as my lover? I am sharing all my secret thoughts with you now, because now I accept you as my soul mate.
You have become a mysterious man and definitely aroused and awakened my romantic love feelings and sexual desires. I now believe true romantic love exists. Honestly, you have already invaded me, opened me, and entered me, penetrated me and occupied my mind fully without my permission. The penetration is so deep, touching the core, to the bottom of my mind I have been forced to think of you ever since you wrote your first letter. You have occupied my mind and intervened so effectively that I cannot think of anything else except you. I am surprised at my own self, even before I start sorting out my feelings and enjoying the freedom of my newly acquired status of widowhood that I am influenced by you and awakened to think of love and sexual pleasure. It is as if I have been waiting eagerly to be a widow to start a love affair with you.
When I read your letters, I feel you, feel your love as if you are touching me, cuddling me, and embracing me and feeling and exploring every part of my body. Sometimes, I think and feel you are communicating with me through Telepathy. You are reaching my mind effectively transferring mind-to-mind communication, thoughts, ideas, feelings, sensations and mental images. I feel you are reaching me through your mystic telepathic power whenever you want, because I feel your presence as if you are there with me and my mind and body is filled with pleasurable sensations.. I can feel the waves of your love surrounding me. I can feel and sense you that you are watching me. You are making me to think about you always. telepathically.
I feel you are sending sexual love and making love to me telepathically, because whenever I think of you, I feel aroused and stimulated and body responds uncontrollably with desire. Yesterday, when I was taking bath nude and later on dressing, I felt you were with me, in me, into me, watching me, touching me, fondling me, kissing me, entering me, exploring me, and opening me, Did you make love to me at that time? It may be my imagination, but I think you tune the frequency of my mind and send your waves of desires telepathically to me and receive my inner thoughts. I cannot help or control thinking of you and feel your presence sometimes when I am in the midst of people, in the college, in the classroom teaching or at home, suddenly you enter my mind and I feel your presence in me, around me and with me and my body responds. Sometimes it is an embarrassment to conceal the waves of pleasure, when I feel your presence with me, surrounding me, because my juices flow out, dripping on to my thighs. I become wet and cannot stand or walk. My petticoat becomes wet.
Thank you for your sustained love for so many years. I am curious to know how do you know me, what do you know of and about me, and where did we meet, Do you still love and desire me with the same intensity? I would have accepted your love had you informed me eleven years back when I was at TTTI. But you were there one year later. I was staying in the Hostel away from husband. I could have been your lover all these years, had I met you eleven years back. I missed the opportunity to meet you then and experience your intense love and romantic all these years. It would have been wonderful. I would have been happy to be owned by you, to belong to you, to be your mistress. I wonder how many women do you own. Have I become the latest acquisition and a member of your harem.
My reawakening immediately after my husband died and receiving your love letters really surprised me. I am ready from expecting to be done with sex to having an intense physical relationship, to experimenting in a way I never had when I was younger and married, and finally, to being with You. But more importantly, rediscovering my sexuality helped me to be open to enjoying life again, and to look at new things with curiosity instead of judgment. I think I am now ready for you. The change in my outlook about life and the way I think is now pronominally conspicuous, incomprehensible, inconceivable, incredible, notable, noticeable, prominent, remarkable, outstanding, salient, striking, strange, unimaginable, unthinkable it reflects in all aspects of my living. You are the only reason for influencing the changes and transformation in me to become a new confident person. Surprisingly, even my children are happy noticing the positive change in me and they know it is you who invoked me to become a more confident sexy sizzling sensuous woman. Had I known that you have been waiting for me to become free from marriage, I could have divorced my late husband to be your lover or enjoyed having extramarital relationship with you.
I should admit honestly that I am in love with you, Shiva, my mysterious and unknown lover. Your powerful love activated, animated, energized, enlivened, excited, fortified, galvanized, invoked, inspired, induced, invigorated, reinforced, rejuvenated, restored, revitalized strengthened, vitalized, renewed, roused, stirred, triggered, vivified, and zapped up my faith in true love and turned me on sexually. I am waiting for you to explore me.
I read about the detail description, characteristics and qualities of different types and categories of women. I prefer to hear from you what type of woman I am, after exploring me. You successfully made me realize my own psyche and now I wonder what you will find in me - physically and psychologically and how you would classify me. I am not bothered how would you classify me, because I want to be loved and desired by you. I am longing to meet you, to see you, to be with you, to experience your love and to reciprocate your feelings. I am anxious to present myself and want you to see the changes in me. I want to share with you all I have and all that I can give. I want to give you myself without hesitation or inhibitions.
You said, I am like a Kakinada Kaja. How do you know? You have not bitten and eaten me yet. You have not tasted me. How do you know that I am juicy at the core. Is it obvious for you that I am full of juice inside, easy to bite and eat. You definitely make my juices overflow so much that I become wet reading your letters and become a rasagulla soaked in sweet syrup. I imagine you biting me and slurping my juice.
I may be the Karini type of woman having most of the qualities as you described. I want you to tell me. You might have enjoyed all types of woman of all ages. Do you prefer mature woman like me much elder to you.
Anxiously await your creative detailed descriptive animating awakening beautiful besieging bewitching captivating commanding delightful demanding enchanting enthralling enticing energizing engaging erotic exciting exhilarating fascinating fabulous fortifying inducing influencing inspiring invoking indulgent inciting interesting intoxicating invigorative informative lovely luring naughty provoking pleasurable raunchy refreshing rejuvenating reviving seducing stimulating stirring tempting thrilling uninhibited reply.
Every day I await your letter, read and experience your love which gives pleasure and new meaning to my life.
Please reply to my residential address which is given below.
Sincerely Yours
Kakinada Kaja - K. Shyamalavathy
Chapter 5 - Shiva's reply
My dear sweet sexy sizzling Shyamala,
Shyamala, you asked me, "Do I look like a woman who needs sex and ready to have an affair within two weeks of acquiring widowhood? I wonder whether it is so apparent and obvious on my face, in my behavior that I am looking for a lover now?"
Yes. You definitely look like a woman who needs to be fucked, not after becoming a widow but even before. Its apparent on your face and your body language that you want a man to satisfy your insatiable desires.
I know that you cannot think of anything else except me after reading my letters and receiving my love. You are experiencing power of my love and my intense desire for you. As we become older, we know more about ourselves and what we want, what we can tolerate and what we cannot. Falling in love later in life can be a lot less confusing just because we know ourselves better. I think we have a better idea what we desire from a partner, so perhaps identifying a compatible lover is little easier too. I do not hesitate to state that it is physical attraction, fatal infatuation and intense desire for you that sustained my love for you.
In a conscious romantic loving relationship, there's room to feel anything. Not only that, there's room to express those feelings and fantasies to your partner. This is edgy territory. it's not easy to do. But it's also one of the most healing things we can experience in love. It's rare to be completely honest about who you are, and to stretch yourself to let your partner do the same. You may not like what you hear, in fact, it may trigger the hell out of you. But you're willing to be triggered if it means your partner can be authentic.
You asked whether I am transferring my feelings of love and desire for you telepathically and making love to you. You may wonder, 'Is my lover thinking about me?' Yes I am communicating with you telepathically. You will know if you listen to your thoughts. we can experience a pleasure that lifts the soul and catapults it across galaxies, taking it to a place of beauty that exists as a secret of nature. And a secret of nature is what true sexual pleasure is. Much more than the physical experience of sex, which is about friction of body parts, psychic and telepathic sex is among the highest expressions of Love, Harmony, and Beauty -- it is the result of merging thoughts, auras, and souls in a dimension that is within our grasp, yet out of this world. How we get there, however, requires complete openness and trust; it also requires practice and patience. I encourage you to try to enter my thoughts so that you may share in the pleasure I feel as you send thoughts of your sexual pleasure to me. I am happy to know that you received my feelings of making love to you.
My Sexy Sensuous Shyamala, Sit and concentrate, visualizing me entering you, inside of you, at that the stage of physical intimacy just before climax; holding my manhood inside firmly. Keep those thoughts for as long as you can, sending thoughts of your pleasure while receiving them - importantly, share. It is the sharing that brings supreme pleasure, which exists at a deeply psychic level. In this dimension of thought and knowing, send whatever thoughts and emotions you are feeling to me, expressing your love and admiration for me, telling me how you feel - express all of it, even if there are tears, just express.
Through practice, you will know when I am thinking of you and I will know when you are thinking of me. There will be no question, there will be just love, there will be pure bliss, there will be a release and experience of pure joy. Experience me. I am with you whenever you think of me, though not physically. But you can feel me with you and in you.
You are an erotic beauty. Every inch of you exudes raw sexuality. You seduce with your eyes, that slight smile, walking style and your mannerisms. Despite that fact you are elder to me by fourteen years and that you are a widow now makes me think that our relationship can flourish now. I can marry you and make you my wife for which you may say that society does not accept and approve. We can be lovers and soul mates forever. Do you think having clandestine love affair at this stage of your life is improper, immoral and illicit. You know very well that age does not matter.
In fact sexual intercourse between a matured woman and young man is more pleasurable. Come to me my darling, I will show you the heaven, make all your sexual dreams and fantasies come true. I envy the men who has the opportunity to see and enjoy your beautiful sexy figure every day. Had I met you eleven years ago, at Madras during your one year FIP, I would have definitely seduced and fucked you then, you would have happily become my lover committing adultery having an extramarital affair cheating your husband and betraying him. We could have enjoyed one year of living and fucking together. Later on he could have even enjoyed seeing you fucked by me. He would not have objected to your parallel extramarital relationship with me. You could have turned your husband to be a Voyeur and Cuckold. He would happily become your slave. You missed the opportunity.
It is not obvious how to explain this phenomenon as emotions are typically partial and exclusive. This is especially so in romantic love which requires a lot of energy and resources. People sometimes express the difficulty in loving two people at the same time, by posing it as a logical contradiction: "He cannot romantically love both me and her at the same time."
A plausible way of explaining this difficulty is to claim that romantic love is based upon a few significant characteristics of the beloved, and hence loving more than one person at a time may not be entirely unfeasible, as the additional love would be based upon a different set of characteristics, and thus the two loves could be considered complementary rather than contradictory. Another context for such polyamorous love is having two or more romantic relationships which are at a different stage: one could be at the infatuation stage and the other at a later, more mature stage. It seems that there is no logical contradiction in romantically loving two or more people at the same time, and the issue here is psychological, as it generates profound emotional dissonance. The dissonance stems from the fact that by definition, emotions demand partiality, that is, the preference of one over another, which entails some sort of exclusivity. Emotionally, it is extremely painful to imagine your lover in the arms of another person. Indeed, most of those who are being romantically in love or having multiple lovers with two or more people at the same time and pleased with the experience also claimed that they would do not find it enormously difficult and is possible, to share their beloved with someone else.
How can human society cope with such emotional dissonances? One approach may be to adapt our accepted norms concerning romantic and sexual exclusivity to reflect the occasional dissonances of our reality, a change which has indeed begun to take place in modern society. People now allow their spouses to have more freedom in their personal relationships with others, and attitude is more flexible also concerning sex. In many societies extramarital sex is disapproved socially, nevertheless, the transgressor is only mildly criticized for such activity. Indeed, extramarital affairs begin to be described in more neutral terms. Instead of the highly negative terms of adultery and betrayal, some people begin to use the more neutral term of parallel relationships. I have had parallel relationships with women without any problems.
I met your colleague Lakshmi eleven years ago at Technical Teachers Training Institute (TTTI), Madras while she was doing FIP, and she became my lover. I used to fuck her during that one year and continued thereafter. I know both you and Lakshmi are not on friendly terms. Ten years back, during one of my visits to Lakshmi I saw you. I fell in love with you at the first sight. It was fatal attraction and I decided to have you as mine. Lakshmi told me that before marriage, you used to come to college with your hair in two braids. The image of you in my mind in two braids at the age of twenty two was thrilling and exciting, I am anxious to see you now in two braids. I have been aware of animosity between two of you. Strangely, She was the reason I had the opportunity to see you. She is aware of my intense desire for you. I think, the reason of animosity between two of you is that 'both of you are beautiful and sexy'. You envy her because she was bold to divorce her inept tormenting husband, and has been able to get a lover of her choice, which you could not do. Now you know that I love you and desire you, envious feelings about Lakshmi should cease and both of should become my loving mistresses and sisters in sin.
I have seen you few days after your husband's demise when you came to Lakshmi 's house. There was no sadness or grief in your eyes. I saw immense relief in you. Despite being a new widow you are looking happy and beautiful exuding raw sexuality. You aroused my intense deep carnal desire for you. It is visible that the sudden demise of your husband brought out the real woman hidden inside you. I know that you were ready for me, and now available for me. You ready to be mine. I was sure that you noticed the desire for you in my eyes when I looked at you. I recognized the pent up desire in you and the real you in you. I think you are have felt that your wishful thinking became true when your husband died. It may sound sadistic and cruel but you can tell me. You are now free to do and live the way you desire. Your thoughts now are free galloping like wild horse with new found freedom.
You are like a wild horse. You need to be tamed. I am the man who can tame you. I know you are in an emotional and biological need that must be gratified. The perception of need begins with a rise in emotional intensity, you feel more strongly about being with someone who loves you, dominates you, protects you and possess you. As the intensity increases, it can feel like you need to have it, for one compelling reason: It's the same emotional process as biological need. When emotion suddenly rises, your biological needs increases. In other words, the perception of need becomes self-reinforcing: "I feel it, therefore, I need it, and if I need it, I have to feel it more."To love freely and safely, get in touch with your deepest desires, lurking beneath surface feelings of loneliness. Your deepest desires will lead you to a relationship with me based on compassion, kindness, fairness, intimacy, and love, rather than temporary excitement or relief from shame and loneliness. Do not be ashamed to recognize your need. You need a man who can tame you. It is me who can tame you. Any other man ca not tame you, control you, and dominate you. You need me.
You will enjoy the erotic humiliation by me. You are ultimate bitch and a Cunt. You need to be humiliated, degraded by me so that you realize what you really are. I urge you to awaken your erotic life. Embracing your erotic soul and deepening the intimacy in your life is both a consequence of deep presence and its gift. Healing yourself in your deepest erotic space can only be a deliberate act, and the doing of it miraculously heals everything else. Tapping into the courage to know your own deepest sexual thoughts and feelings, and offering them with your whole being, is both a life work and lasting gift.
Shyamala, You may wonder why am I using erotic filthy dirty obscene abusive words. I know you like them. If you want a simple answer, it is because You have come to recognize humiliation or humiliating treatment as a sexual behavior in the same way that most others would recognize flirting, or personal contact, or even a style of revealing dress or other behavior. You like a man to be in charge. All sex has an emotional aspect and humiliation is a very powerful emotion. You like humiliation and have probably learned to associate belittling treatment with the sex you are attracted to. It is possible this could come from trauma, but it may more commonly come from the personalities they have encountered in early life. It may be perhaps that you were abused in your childhood by a relative. You were definitely mistreated and abused by your husband. This desire is fairly common. So far you did not enjoy submission and humiliation.
The liking of humiliation varies from just enjoying some very specific fantasies, up to a liking for extreme and repeated mistreatment, but despite this it is really just part of the emotional aspect of human sexuality, though it can become quite addictive and a problem in some people. For you I am there to guide, direct, command, teach you to enjoy your journey of erotic humiliation.
Do you want to further waste your life living like a celibate without pleasure thinking of ethics, morals, traditions and social restrictions. Are you afraid of the disgrace that you may face socially and consequences, if you are in love affair now.
Men around you may be looking at you with desire but do not have capacity to recognize the real adventurous, amative, amazing, amorous, aphrodisiac, ardent, aroused, bewitching, carnal, concupiscent, desirous, enchanting, erotic, exotic, fascinating, fervid, hot, kinky, lascivious, libidinous, loving, lustful, lubricious, maudlin, romantic, passionate, prurient, sexy, sensual, steamy, stimulated, slut, sultry, voluptuous, wanton, wild, wistful person hidden in you. I recognized the hidden qualities in you long back and I want to have you as mine and I am sure you want to be mine.
I will help you to be a desirable and dazzling woman instead of desolate, sexy instead of being a seclusive, raunchy instead of being reclusive woman, and celebrate every moment of your life instead of being a celibate. So let's celebrate everything we are and everything we have with mind, body and soul! Once you learn to enjoy, you will not be afraid of the society, you will be confident and proud to announce to the world that you are now having an affair with young lover in your life.
My desire for you is so intense, many a time I wish I could have been your Neighbor, Colleague, Student or one of your family member, may be a Uncle, Uncle's son, Cousin, Brother, Brother-in-law, Nephew, Step-son or Son so that I can see you, talk to you, have you and know the real you in you. You may feel that I am thinking of taboo incestuous relationship with you. Whatever the relationship I want to have you. even if its incestuous, immoral, and taboo. You are celebration of feminine sexuality. Our relationship extends beyond this life. Perhaps we were related in our earlier janmas. You might have been my Mother, Aunt, Sister, Sister-in-law, Mother-in-law, Cousin, Lover, wife, Mistress or even Courtesan.
I would like to know you - your mind and body. What are the most sensitive erogenous zones of your body. I will find out when we meet. I will explore each and every minute part of your body and mind to know you. You may be thinking whether I will be able to satisfy your insatiable desires. Your mouth and pouting thick lips indicate that you have large and deep Cunt, thick cunt lips and prominent protruding big clitoris. You will be able to take a big horse's cock and needs to be fucked for very long time to reach vaginal, clitoral and whole body orgasm. I am endowed with humongously hung long thick fat monstrous magnificent special cock with huge knob. Your cunt will stretched, torn, deepened, widened once I fuck you. I will fuck you baby, so much that you plead for mercy. You will love it so much that you will become my slave, baby.
Women are the receiving sex and women want to submit to a dominant man. The shared animating impulse described by all these ideas is the innate compulsion of women to be desired. Desired so strongly that a man loses control of himself. Women are, by their very nature, irredeemably solipsistic, and this solipsism is a function of their genetic prime directive: to use their bodies and their beauty to capture the seed and the services of a high value man. This aspect of female sexuality explains the prevalence of Ra*e fantasies in the female fantasy repertoire. Ra*e fantasies, in this understanding, are actually fantasies about surrender, not out of masochistic yearnings to be harmed or punished, but out of the female desire to be desired by a man to the point of driving him out of control.
There are plenty of women who yearn to be punished, even if their yearning operates mostly on the subconscious level of cognition, It's as if a woman's desire to be desired is, when taken to extremes, warped into a need for punishing treatment as the only demonstrations of male desire that will mean anything to her. I want to fulfill your desires. You are submissive by nature and realize and bring out the real self from subconscious level.
Lovingly Your Master
Shiva
P.S:
Your date of Birth September 14, indicates that your Zodiac sign is Virgo. Virgos have a deep buried sensuality. Outwardly they maintain a cool and calm composure but buried deep inside are great passions. Virgos are very choosy about their lover. In sexual relationship they are very caring and controlling too and can make their partner feel the most wanted person on the earth. They are perfectionists and secretive by nature. The sexual relationship with a Virgo lover may not be a bed of roses. The effort has to be made to unearth and stir the deep buried passions and then you become the vortex of their life.
Chapter 6
TTTI-FIP
Lakshmi, a former student later became colleague of Shyamalavathy in the same department was not on friendly terms with her. Both stay in the opposite houses in the colony. Forty year old Lakshmi, a beautiful lean sexy divorcee with knee length hair has been a mistress of Shiva for eleven years. They met in Madras when Lakshmi was doing one year FIP. They were staying in TTTI hostel.
Technical Teachers Training Institute (TTTI) is also known as 'Tantalizing Temptress Teachers Institute.' Most of the women lecturers from various colleges who opt one year Faculty Improvement Program (FIP) on deputation are Single, Unmarried, Spinsters, Married but unhappy, Married and Separated, divorced or Widows. They are away from family and place work and their known environment for one year and free to acquire and enjoy lovers. They are hungry for sex and look for a mate. Extramarital affairs and illicit sex relationships happen during the FIP. FIP is also known as 'Fucking included Program.'
Some of the women who come to TTTI for one year FIP may not have intentions initially to acquire lovers, have extramarital affairs and enjoy sex. Convenience, Proximity and opportunity influence and induce them to look for sexual adventures. Both men and women live in the same hostel having common mess and common indoor auditorium. Men and Women opt for this one year FIP, to improve their knowledge and teaching methodologies and also as a prerequisite for their career advancement. Whether they really are benefited improving their pedagogical skills, most certainly they improve their tantalizing skills enjoying the freedom and sex with new partners immensely. Once they go back to their home towns they continue their established affairs or use effectively and implement newly acquired erotic skills during one year FIP to acquire more lovers and to have adulterous, amorous, clandestine, illicit, illegitimate, secret and extramarital affairs. They become more tantalizing temptress, provocative, sexy and seductive. The sexual experiences during FIP make them more hungry for sex looking for variety in sex and normally will have multiple partners. Some of them of use these acquired skills for the advancement of their career using sex once they go back. There is lot of competition for women at TTTI since the number of women are less compared to men. Women can select the partners as per their choice and desire. Some Women FIP candidates change their lovers in that one year and some women have multiple lovers concurrently.
I joined as a Research scholar in the adjoining CSIR Research Institute. Since the Institute I joined did not have Hostel facilities, We were provided hostel facilities in TTTI on request.
Lakshmi, a Lecturer aged 29, a divorcee, mother of a six year old son, joined FIP. Being a divorce and celibate for four years, TTTIFIP program offered the best opportunity. Lakshmi is 160 cm tall, lean, skinny fair woman with oily smooth, clear, unblemished and radiant glowing skin, beautiful round face, well defined thick eye brows, large expressive eyes, full wide mouth, juicy thick lips. Her lower lip being thicker is very exciting and erotic. She has smooth neck, thin long smooth arms, and long artistic fingers. Her breasts hung from lean chest and big nipples extend out of her slender lean frame made her brazenly top heavy. Her very narrow thin taut waist curvaceously spread onto firm bottom and hemispherical protruding round hips. Her bewitchingly beautiful, tantalizing thick, long, soft, silky, jet-black, lustrous, shining, wavy, voluminous and uniformly thick hair reaches her knees. Her lean curvaceous body firm yet full at the bosom and wide hips and long legs are erotic. She has blemish less radiant and glowing smooth translucent skin. She is extremely curvy with everything being tight, toned, and feminine, with low body fat, low BMI, extremely narrow thin waist and wide hips. She has sweet, melodious sexy voice. She is every inch an exuberant,, sexy, sensuous, vivacious, glowing and exuding and oozing charming feminine sexuality.
Lakshmi was at her sexual peak. She befriended and fell deeply in love with Shiva. Shiva got attracted to her. She needs man to fuck and satisfy her sexual desires. They soon became lovers. He especially liked Lakshmi's knee length thick hair. Lakshmi is wild in bed and Shankhini woman. The hostel was common for both men and women. For one year Lakshmi enjoyed fucking with Shiva. They used to go to movies and outing on weekends. She actually started treating Shiva as her husband. They went to Tirumala and stayed there for three days in the cottage. It was like a honeymoon. They stayed a cottage at Golden beach for two nights and enjoyed fucking on a full moon night on the beach. They have five day week. Every weekend, over the course of their year-long honeymoon, Lakshmi and her lover husband Shiva visited Kanchipuram, Madurai, Kodaikanal, Ooty, Connor, Thanjavur, Mahabaleswaram, Rameswaram, Coimbatore, Tuticorin, Tirunelveli and Kanyakumari. On some weekends Subhalakshmi Lakshmi colleague another FIP candidate also joined them.
After the one year FIP program, Lakshmi went to her home town. Shiva used to visit her place regularly. She introduced him to all her friends inviting them for Lunch or dinner when he visited. Everyone in the College, Colony and her family know about the affair between Lakshmi and Shiva. Lakshmi told everyone that She is Shiva's mistress.
