Fantasy Starship Gods

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The God Liam and the Goddess Miranda​

As the Asgard took off behind them, Liam smiled. "Could you ever have imagined that I, a condemned prisoner who boarded that ship in handcuffs, would be leaving it totally unfettered, with a blaster at my side?"

"Don't get too cocky," said Miranda. "You're still my prisoner."

"Your prisoner?" said Liam, looking amused.

"At least, you're still under my supervision," said Miranda.

"Well, that's some improvement," said Liam. He saw the crowd cautiously surging towards them. "Ah, the natives are approaching."

They had landed on the outskirts of Phthiotis, one of the six great cities on the planet "Earth".

"Let me do the talking," said Liam.

"I don't trust you," said Miranda.

"Neither should they. But we have an advantage. They don't know me yet," said Liam, with a smile. He turned to the gathering crowd, and activated the megaphone disc.

"Welcome!" said Liam. "We are the Gods of the Book of Sparticus! I am the God Liam, and this very sexy heavenly lady is the Goddess Miranda." Miranda gave him a withering look.

"We have come here to show you the true path! The Book of Sparticus has not been truly obeyed!"

A group of Tollahs were approaching. One of them, who was better dressed than the others, was undoubtedly their High Tollah.

"I hope you read that book forwards and backwards," Miranda whispered.

"Not really," said Liam. "I got bored by the lack of pictures of pretty girls, and stopped on page two."

"Are you serious?" said Miranda, suddenly very alarmed.

A lesser Tollah stepped forward, and introduced the finely dressed Tollah before him. "Greetings. This is Myanmush, our High Tollah, and Devout Mouth of Sparticus."

The Mouth of Sparticus looked at Liam and Miranda skeptically. "You were the ones who arrived in the silver thing?"

"The fiery chariot of the Gods, yes," said Liam.

"You claim to be Gods of the Book of Sparticus?"

"No," said Liam.

The crowd gave an "oh".

Liam told tall. "We do not claim to be anything. We are the Gods of the Book of Sparticus!"

"Prove it," said the Mouth of Sparticus.

"What?" said Liam

"Prove you are who you say you are."

Miranda looked helplessly at Liam. Liam gave her a reassuring look.

"Very well," said Liam. In a swift move, he drew his blaster and fired. There was an explosion of light, and one of the Tollahs standing next to the Mouth cried out and fell to the ground.

The crowd "ooohed" again.

"Sorry," Liam told the Mouth. "I was aiming for you."

"You have killed him?" said the Mouth.

"I could have, if it pleased me," said Liam loudly. "But I have only just arrived. I never kill when I've just arrived. That would be rude. He will recover."

The Mouth of Sparticus looked at them with some measure of respect now. He said, "You say you are coming to show us the true path."

"Yes. There are a number of practices which must be modified," said Liam.

"Practices?" asked the Mouth of Sparticus.

"Yes. To begin with, the killing of every third child must end. That is not referenced in the Book of Sparticus, and must stop immediately."

"But in the Book, Sparticus saw the man with three cows, and told him that one of them must be slaughtered," said the Mouth of Sparticus.

"Yes, but were you there when it happened?"

"No," the Mouth admitted.

"I'm a God. And I was there," said Liam, grinning widely. The crowd ooohed again. "And let me tell you, the cow who was slaughtered was very sick."

The Mouth tried to understand what Liam was saying. "So we should only kill third children who are ill?"

"You interrupted me!" said Liam. "Never do that!"

"Sorry, your Holiness," said the Mouth.

Liam gave him a warning glance, and then continued. "The cow was sick. It was also spotted black and white, and had hooves."

"As cows do."

"Exactly. If a third child is born spotted black and white with hooves, you may kill it. Otherwise, don't do a thing."

"That was the lesson of the story? To only kill children who resembled cows?" said the Mouth.

"Exactly," said Liam.

The Mouth didn't know whether to believe Liam or not. But Liam plowed on.

"Then there is the matter of killing people for heresy."

"The Book clearly says that those who commit heresy should be severely punished."

"That is an error in the transcription of the book."

"It is?" said the Mouth. "But the Book is infallible!"

"The words of the Gods are infallible, but the writer of the Book was not. Somewhere along the line of the Great Book being copied and recopied over the generations, an error slipped in. What apparently reads that heretics should be severely punished, should have been written as heretics must be severely published."

"Published?" said the Mouth, looking confused.

"Their evil words must be used against them. Publish their heretical sayings far and wide. Shame them with their own words until they repent. That is what is meant in the Book of Sparticus."

"Publish them? Are you quite sure?"

"Are you really asking a God if he's sure of something?" Liam asked.

"No, Lord," said the Mouth hastily.

"And then we come to the matter of fathers having sex with children when they reach a certain age," said Liam.

"The Book clearly says that Fathers should welcome children into the world of adulthood, Lord. Unless you are going to say that that is another mistake in the Book of Sparticus," said the High Tollah, clearly setting a trap for Liam.

"Not at all. The words are correct and true," said Liam. "But who is the father? Who, really, ultimately, is the father of all?"

"You are, Lord," said one of the Tollahs.

"Precisely. When your girls become of age, send them to me, and I will personally welcome them to adulthood."

"We have several now who are approaching that age," said the Mouth, giving Liam a cunning look.

"Then send them to me, and I will initiate them into the ways of adulthood. But first I am tired, and hungry. I always need a full stomach before having sex with underage girls. And I need a place to reside. Is this the hospitality you show a God?"

The crowd roared its disapproval with the Tollahs.

They put Liam and Miranda up in the local Palace of Sparticus. It had high ceilings, fancy frescoes, and marble floors.

"Nice," said Liam, admiring the throne. "A God could get used to this place."

"I have to admit, you did pretty well," said Miranda.

"Thanks."

"I think even that High Tollah believed you."

"Oh, not at all," said Liam.

"He didn't?"

"You could see it in his eyes, plain as day," said Liam.

"Then why did he give us all this?" She gestured at the high ceilings and big spaces around them.

"He had to. The crowd was on our side. He'll move against us at some point, when he thinks it advantageous," said Liam casually, as if he were talking about sport scores.

"You seem so calm about all this," said Miranda.

"I am. It's just like one of my business deals."

"You mean your scams."

Liam gave her a hurt look.

"And how exactly are you going to welcome a bunch of 12 year old girls into the world? Don't tell me you're going to have sex with them, because I won't stand for it," said Miranda.

Liam gave her a hurt look. "Miranda, what do you think I am?"

"A criminal," said Miranda.

"But a child molester? If someone sells questionable stock certificates, does that make them a rapist? Surely the world isn't that black and white, to even you."

"You may be capable of anything," said Miranda.

"You're right about that, and fortunately for us," said Liam. "But I give you my word I will not lay a finger on the girls." He smiled as he picked up a giant feather, which he had specifically requested from one of the Tollahs.

"What is that?"

"A feather. From some giant bird, I imagine."

"What are you going to do with it?"

"Wait and see."

Very shortly a bunch of nervous looking young girls arrived. There were eight in all. They looked more than a little apprehensive.

The Mouth of Sparticus, High Tollah Myanmush, was there as well, surrounded by guards with swords. "These are the girls who are ready to be welcomed into adulthood, Lord."

"So I see," said Liam.

Nothing happened for a moment.

"Is it your intention to stand there and watch?" Liam asked.

"No, Lord," said Myanmush, displeasure written on his face as he and his men reluctantly turned and left.

"Remind me later to liquidate that one in a way that no one will find the body," said Liam, after he was gone. Miranda looked at his face. She couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

Liam turned to the young girls, who didn't know what to expect. "Ladies. Girls. Come into the next room with me."

The next room had been set up to Liam's instructions. It was filled with juice and cookies. "Have some food, girls."

The girls looked hesitant, but one by one they started to eat and drink.

"What's going to go on here?" Miranda asked suspiciously.

"Wait and see," said Liam. "Unless you'd rather wait outside until I'm done molesting the little girls?"

"No!"

Liam smiled.

When he judged that the girls had relaxed, at least a little, he bade them stand in a line in front of him. The girls, hearing their God, rushed to obey, though he could tell they were still somewhat apprehensive.

Liam picked up the long feather. It was white and had a lot of plumage. He stood before the first girl, and carefully lowered the feather. He started to touch her between her legs with the feather.

The girl felt nothing between her legs. The feather was only touching the outside of her dress. But the oddity of a feather brushing her there, combined with funny faces Liam was making, made her laugh.

After she laughed, Liam moved to the next girl in line. He started to brush between her legs with the feather, and made the same funny faces. Once she laughed, he moved on, and did the same to all the girls.

When all had been done, he stepped back and raised his voice. "And now girls, when someone asks you what happened here--AND THEY DEFINITELY WILL--will you tell them that your God touched you between your legs?"

"Yes, Lord!" They shouted.

"Will you tell them that when your God touched you between your legs, that you felt pleasure?"

"Yes, Lord!" they shouted again.

"Very good," said Liam. "But you must not tell them the manner in which I gave you pleasure. That is a secret of the Gods! Do you understand?"

"Yes Lord!" They shouted, some of them giggling.

"Good. Now go home and brush your teeth or do whatever it is you're doing when you're not being molested by your God."

The girls, all tittering, ran out.

When Liam turned to Miranda, he saw admiration in her eyes. "I never would have thought to do such a thing. I hate to admit it, but you're positively brilliant in this role."

"You can thank me again when we're finally rescued, and you slap the cuffs on me to take me back to certain torture and death on Ramada," said Liam.

Miranda frowned, and turned away. What Liam had said was harsh, but true. Technically, he was her prisoner, and she still had a job to do, and if she had the chance to do it, she would.

Liam smiled readily as he saw he had planted the first seeds of self-doubt.​