Episode 82
Then he also kept quiet and my mind started running with the things happened this night, how could I do this? I could not for once not thought of the problems that I could face when I am going out with a stranger, I betrayed my friend also, bechaari Preeti! I was feeling so bad about myself, I was so strong, always had immense self belief and self confidence, I was a girl of high values, I was so proud of myself cause of values and morals, nobody and nothing could break me or manipulate me! That's what I always believed! And that bastard took that away from me! The most precious asset to me! My confidence! I started to feel so empty from inside, so low....and I started whimpering, kept whimpering for some time so Saad wouldn't hear me, didn't want to give him any explanation and seem like a weak person, which was what I was feeling.... Suddenly I felt a pat on my shoulder, it was Saad, he asked me
• Are you crying Namrata?
• No no ( while trying to hold back my tears, with a heavy voice)
• Namrata what happened?
• Nothing ree! ( in a very irritating manner I told him)
• Ok I won't ask you but if u feel like talking, let me know, I will be all ears..
• Ya, ok
And again there was silence, I kept looking out, blaming my fate to be fallen in such situation, I did acted foolish and I started a silently crying again. Saad must have heard me crying again, this time he didn't directly asked me, but he said
• I know that Abdul only must have done something, it's there in his character to use gullible girls like u
• ( my tone only changed and very aggressively I told him) I am not gullible! I am very smart! Don't call me that ever again!
• Smart girls don't go out with boys like Abdul and that means he's only responsible behind your tears
• Boss! If I wasn't smart I would have stayed with him! I walked out! Didn't I! I was well in my senses and I got my self out! ( I lied again), I came here with him not cause I liked him! I came because of the situation!
• If you could have controlled the situation tab then you wouldn't have been in this situation!
• What are you trying to do?? Huh? What's ur point?
• I am just consoling you.
• You don't sound like one! You are trying to make feel even more bad now!
• I am not, I am just making sure that you have realized the mistake of trusting Abdul
• You don't have to make sure anything! And the fact that I am crying is because I know I have done a mistake! So keep quiet for sometime or let me get down here and I will get a cab!
• Ok ok, I am sorry, I will keep quiet, maybe my way was wrong but I ...anyway leave it
• YA
Just then my phone rang, it was almost 11 so I thought my dad must have reached home so I tried searching for my phone in the bag
, I found it and to my horror it wasn't my dad! It was Abdul! I let it ring and disconnect and kept it back in my bag, I started thinking to myself " Why could he be calling me now!" And the phone rang again and I did the same didn't pick up, Saad was noticing all this, but thank god he didn't say anything this time, I would have given him back and how and would have got down! Now I am not gonna be controlled or not gonna take anybody's favor and be in their obligation, I had decided! I will do what I want to!
After some time my phone beeped, I got scared again, it could be my dad or Abdul, in both situations I am gonna be in trouble, but at the same time I thought if it's my dad, it's ok, but if it's from Abdul, I will fuck his case this time! And it was from Abdul only, fuck! I was so mad just seeing his name there in the notification, with lot of anger I clicked on it to see whats written and there everything went wrong again, I like a dumb forgot that he will be able to see me "Online"!
Abdul: tu saali Saad ke saath gayi na! Saali dekha uske car mein maine tujhe
I did not know what to write, I just read and kept it back. It beeped again and again it was Abdul. This time I didn't check, I just read the preview of it from the notification panel, I didn't want to show him that I was reading. It read,
Abdul: tujhe kya lagta hoon chutya hoon! Tujhe bola tha na usse mat baat kar! Saali tune uske saath plan bana liya! Ab dekh bhenchod mein kya karta hoon.....
Again one more came,
Abdul: saala kutta! Uski toh jindagi nark bana dunga!
Now I started thinking kiski? I kept thinking then 3rd!
Abdul: woh Saad bahot shanna bann raha tha na, mere saamne tere saath flirt kar raha tha, kal subhe uske ghar jaake usko maarunga!
Abdul: tune abhi mujhe call nahi na kiya toh dekh mein tujhe toh kuch nahi karunga, par yeh Saad ko toh maar daalunga! Abhi ke abhi call kar!
Fuck! Now I have put this person also in trouble! It wasn't Saad's fault that he was driving me back home ulta he was doing a favor on me! and then I realised how I was treating him all this time, but now what to do! I don't want to call Abdul just cause he was terrorizing me! That would fuel his guts! I was not gonna do that at all! Just then one more msg came
Abdul: call now! I am also coming there by friends car and if I catch you guys midway na, I will break all his bones and put him along with his car in a valley! And people...
This time i opened his chat and the msg was
Abdul: call now! I am also coming there by friends car and if i catch you guys midway na, I will break all his bones and put him along with his car in a valley! And people have seen you leaving with him, toh sochle!
"Fuck yaar! What have got myself stuck into" I thought to myself, first of all toh I didn't want Saad to go through any trouble because of me so I decided to get down from his car, now how to tell him that, I messaged Abdul back
Me: ok, give me 2 mins
I looked out and I could see that we were touching the city and it wasn't that secluded....then looked at Saad and told him
- Listen Saad I will have to get down here, thanks for all your help, but I won't be going home tonight and I will be staying at my friend's house tonight, so can you please drop me here?
- Here?
- Not here, but little ahead, near that pink building
- Ohh ok, so anybody is coming to pick u down?
- No no
- Why! Then I will walk u till the door!
- Saad, please no, my friends house is on the ground floor only, I will go, maybe I will call you when I reach home or drop u a msg.
- Ok then, if that's what u want then its ok.
We reached near the building I showed him, I wish I could explain him about my rude behavior, but he really didn't do any wrong thing ever while we were together so that gave me a lot of respect for him, I said thank you and he went away, I tried to stop him if he can give me his number so I can tell him but he didn't wait, maybe he got an idea that I was lying....at that time only my mobile started ringing, it was my dad, dad asked
• Beta kahan ho?
• Mein pohoch hi rahi hoon dad, sirf 15 mins do, jara late ho gaya
• Haan haan beta late toh ho gaya, par come jaldi now!
• Haan dad
• I will be awake haan, come fast
• Yeah dad, bye dad
After that I called Abdul..
• Haan Abdul, bol! ( very furiously I asked him)
• Kya bol be! ( his tone was the same!) kahan hai? Aa hi raha hoon mein piche!
• I have reached home! What do you want? I said I will call you and I did, I don't care what u do to Saad, he's nobody to me, I just called cause I wanted to end this nonsense!
• Ohhhh you have reached home! ( he sounded little happy, which was a surprise to me!)
• Yes ( I was still being stern)
• Ohhho!! All this time I was worried about you, what Saad will do and all, but good if you have reached home then its fine! Super in fact! Sorry for today, take care, byee sweetheart! Goodnight!
He didn't even wait for me to say bye and kept the phone! But I was immensely surprise by this new development! Till now he was all acting rowdy and all of a sudden he says he was only worried about Saad not doing anything to me and me reaching home safely! That came as a shock to me and it was very very weird!!! Very! "Let it be! I have to get a cab now" i thought to myself, stood there waiting for a cab and 4 years back I didn't have any idea about App taxi services, so I stood there waiting for good 15-20 mins and this thought was constantly revolving around my head that how a person can act so differently in matter of seconds! "bhaad mein gaya woh Namrata, tu can dekh!", but there was no cab visible and it was almost 15 mins passed since dad had called me, I had told him that I will reach in 15, I was very worried thinking about that, what if dad calls me again, what am I supposed to tell him, basically my mind was filled up with all the question, very little of them were about Abdul but most of them were about me reaching home in time and questioning of dad!
I was very desperate to reach home at that time!! You guys have no idea! Don't judge me but at that time I had no option but to call Abdul and ask him if he can come pick me up, it was gonna be little odd, but still after his last conversation I could at least think of that as and option.....and because of him only I was in this situation again! so I called him after much dilemma, his phone started ringing but he wasn't picking up and just when I thought it was a bad idea and about to disconnect the call, I could see the timer started, so I knew he picked up and I put the phone back on my ear
• Hi Abdul
• kya hua jaan? Meri yaad aa rahi thi?
• Yaad nahi par, I thought maybe u can help me
• Doing what?
• Actually I lied to you, I never reached home...I had got down from Saad's car cause you were acting difficult and forcing me to call you, so I got down so we can talk....
There was a big silence, he didn't say anything, I kept doing, hello....hello! Then he talked
• Ohhh toh jhoot bola tune!
• Jhoot nahi, par haan
• Chalo koi nahi, mujhe jara bhi accha nahi lagta jo mujhse jhoot bolta hai
• Hmmmmm, anyway u let it be, I will manage, don't start with you I don't like this and that, chalo bye!
• Areee namrata rukh! Tu ek kaam kar, jara piche chalke aa!
• Piche kyon? Firse club nahi jaana mujhe, ghar jaana hai!
• Areee ek last baat maanle darling!
• I am not gonna listen to your any demands or suggestions now!
• Ohhhhooo!
• Ohhooo wohooo apne paas rakh, chod tu jaane de, mein dekh lungi
• Ok ok ok, rukh aata hoon
• Mat aa!
• Tohh! Abhi nakhre mat kar, aa raha hoon, 1 min ke andar!
• Faaltu ki baatein mat kar, 1 min mein kaise aayega
• Are tu dekh na! Anything and everything for you meri jaan
• Hmm, chal see you then, come fast
Saying this I kept the phone, it was out of my thinking power that how can a person change so much!?? Anyway I at least did had a hope of reaching home in next 15-20 mins, if dad calls I will tell him that I was stuck in traffic, so the problem sort of solved...phewww....and! Just then I realised that this bastard Abdul had told me that he was following us and I didn't even see a single car going from the road after I got down.....bastard could he be there somewhere or did I miss any car?? And at that exact moment, I could see a car's lights turning on and flashing! It was a cab, It started moving towards me and stopped next to me and no wonder it was Abdul! But since it had started moving I was just hoping that it was Abdul and not anybody else, so I won't lie but I was relived to see him! I couldn't stop smiling cause I was relived! But he did see me there standing and he didn't help me, that thought was also there in me, but at that moment, my problems were solved, I thought to myself, I sat in the cab and we headed for our home....
As soon as I got in the car, I asked Abdul
Why didn't you tell me earlier that you were just here! I could have saved 15-20 mins by now! You enjoyed seeing me waiting alone in the dark or what
Yes
What do u mean? Sick you are!
Whatever makes u feel satisfied, I will say that, cause I am really feeling sorry for what happened today, it shouldn't have happened! I know...
Hmmm...u can't force anybody in life! To do anything!
Did I force you Namrata? Were u not willingly doing it?
Are you kidding me? I wasn't! I was only doing it so that u won't hit me! Why r u so weird? Why are you acting so nicely with me for last 30 mins, so different than what u were in that club, I am not understanding! I just don't know & I want to know but its ok if u don't want to tell
I don't want to tell
Ok then, don't tell!! Fuck off!
He smiled and kept quiet and after all the experience I had with him it was really odd but I didn't want to ask him cause I knew it could be some of his trick, for 5 mins I kept staring outside the car window, couldn't believe that I am with the same guy who humiliated and was so rough with me but one thing was still bothering me that he kept me waiting there alone when he was seeing me standing there helplessly....why was he even there? He definitely didn't care about keeping me away from harm cause he was just harming me few minutes back! I just couldn't control myself anymore and I asked him with a stern tone
U have to tell me why u kept me waiting there outside on the road when, u were seeing me struggling!
He just laughed loudly when I asked him this and said
Namrata tu bahot cute hai
I was in no mood to hear any compliments or bullshit from him so I said
Are woh sab bhaad mein gaya, bata why you did not come to pick me up when u saw me struggling? What sick joy you were getting out of it?
Tell me one thing Namrata, why did u come from there alone?
What do u expect? U were hitting me and that lady saw us and she went out saying she will complain about us, I was scared to be there and to be with you also so I did what I felt was right thing to do!
Why couldn't u tell me to take u home? Why did u choose Saad?
I didn't choose Saad! I came running out and I saw Saad getting in his car so I asked him and he said yes
Immediately after saying this I realised, I am giving him explanation again! I was the one who asked a question, not him! And even if he asks I shouldn’t be answerable to him! ( now I am realising that he might have got a hint that I am again getting in his control slowly) and at that time only he told the cab driver to stop for a second! I got too impatient and asked him,
Why have you stopped the cab?? I need to be at home in next 10 mins! Tell him to start driving!!
I started telling the cab driver to start driving but he didn’t listen to me, Abdul was reaching to his bag and removing something and said
Whats the hurry baby? We are only 5 mins away from our building! You just waited there for 10 mins, I just told him stop for 2 mins
Just stop asking me counter questions! I asked why did u just kept me waiting??
I am sorry that I kept you waiting, I didn't know that you were dying to meet me
Whatever, this wont work! Don’t try to act smart, answer my question!
The answer is not so straight baby…please listen and talk in between, please have this ( he tried to hand me a bottle of breezer!, and said) I am sorry I didn't let you have breezer then and you couldn’t even have whiskey so I was feeling guilty that because of that incident you couldn’t even enjoy so I brought this for you
This was the time when I felt like I am in control! That feeling was so great, I am again feeling confident and like I have control over my life, this was what he had snatched from me and the feeling that I made such an impossible character into such a decent person that he is now, was a big victory for me! For my ego! For my self confidence! With this feeling I told him
Listen! Stop with your nonsense and tell me why?? This breezer you couldn’t give me when I wanted so whats the point!!
Phhhh....( he took a long breath before saying) listen, ok, my behavior with you was bad, I agree, I accept, ( I tried saying and he stopped me), please don’t say anything, please, let me complete, I would justify myself and if you don’t agree then please let me know when I complete talking, yaa?
Yaa, ok..
So.. Listen, when we went there, I thought you really did like me and that’s why you came with me and I , I don’t know what to say, I don’t want to scare you off but, I really liked you more than we like a friend & all those moments we had in the car made me feel that you also like me the same way I like you and u trust me, you said that din you?
I did, but.. ( and he said)
Don’t say anything, just nod your head when I ask you question, in yes or no, ok?
I did how he instructed and just nodded my head indicating, I understood ..he said
Good girl! Now first of all! Have a breezer, tune nahi piya toh even I didn’t drink! I wanted to enjoy with you so I also came out of the party!
I don’t want to now, when I wanted to you din let me ( I was enjoying the hold I had in the situation!)
Ok, but can you please at least hold? Please?
I took the bottle from him and he opened it with his teeth only! First time I saw somebody opening the bottle with their teeth then, I didn’t use to drink then so much...so that was something new! We both did cheers and had one-one sip, he had a smirk on his face, but I don’t feel this time he was planning something, so I din give it that much importance, this time I had the hold of the situation and I wasn’t gonna lose it......or melt….or get manipulated…he again started tell
Now listen I really like you and I can tell you that I like you more than I like Preeti! When I saw you talking and giggling with Saad I got really jealous and I told Sadia about it, I wanted to make u feel jealous too! So she helped me in doing that, I wanted you to come to me and take me away from Sadia, now u must be thinking why I couldn’t come to you and took u away from Saad but I didn’t want you to control you, I never wanted to! You know what I was telling Sadia? "yaar Namrata who Saad se baat kar rahi hai aur mujhe usse nahi rokhna hai kuch bhi karne se, par mujhe yeh bhi chahiye who mere paas aajaye" then she told me that the best way you can make a girl come running to you is to make her feel jealous! I tried that also but you were still busy with him! It did hurt me a lot! I had to call u! I had to do SOMETHING THAT I DIDN’T want to do, MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING, I did call you and you came running, jealousy factor didn’t work with you…
so I understood that I will have to tell you if I want something from you and that became my perception, later when I tried to kiss you, u denied and ran away, that made me feel humiliated and very very hurt….and I met Karana inside, she asked me what was wrong and I told her how much I like you and value your presence in my life, she kept telling me that its ok, maybe she doesn’t like you…I also thought to myself that if she doesn’t like me then its ok and I prayed to god that keep her safe and I wished good for you for your life, just then I saw you entering and I told her the same thing that I wanted to make Namrata jealous so can she please act a little? She said yes, I can see how much you are in to her, so I will do anything that will help you to win her! I was waiting for you to come closer and then I hugged Karana only cause u could see….but my that plan also didn’t work, you came and we started fighting! I was furious and disappointed at the same time cause all my efforts of, forget winning you but just to get attention, were going wrong! As we were fighting, I realised what I had realised few mins back! I have to let you know what I want and you would do it, so I took you to washroom cause I wanted to be really close to you!
I was listening all this while, didn’t say a single word, but this time I had to raise a point! I said
Boss! Even when you were taking me to the washroom, you were not at all good to me, you were dragging me almost! You hit me! You cursed me so badly, and btw you didn’t hit me once or twice! You kept hitting me every minute that I was with you, I was feeling so stuck and humiliated, you said you felt humiliated, I cant even imagine what I went thru!!
Aree! I didn’t complete talking and you had promised that you wont talk till the time I finished! Now with you also it happened na, that you said something but cause of the change of situation, you had to break your promise and do something that you want!
Hmmm, I don’t know
You don’t know or you don’t want to listen?? Anyway forget it! Now at least this time would you let me complete and not talk in between??
Hmm
What hmmmm? I want you to say yes or no!
What do u mean by YOU want?? Huh?
Cause I know you Namrata, you would do if I tell you what I want, than waiting for you to do what I want
Hmmm
Areee! What hmmmm!?
Haan thik hai Abdul! I got you and hmmm means I understand!! God!
Good girl! ok so where was I? Aummmm, ya just before we got in to the restroom and we got lost in each other's inner beauty na?
Haan re!
Immediately after saying that I realized I agreed to whatever that he was saying about getting lost in each other's inner beauty and shit....frankly, I was, after that initial fight and struggle in the restroom I was even ready for anything, I wouldn’t have stopped him from doing anything, I was all his! I had considered myself as his slave almost! But why would I agree to it! And I said quickly!
Haan, just before we got into restroom, that’s all!
He smiled and said
Ok ok, so listen, I took you to washroom and I can tell you or try to explain you why I was being so pushy and so rude.....I was upset with you Namrata! I was so upset with you that you were not even trying to understand even after me telling you once that why I was getting close to Sadia! I thought and I expected you to come to me and know why was I doing it! you didn't take any effort to make things alright!
I was gonna Abdul ( this time I lost my anger a lil, but Immediately got back) , anyway chod, you tell.
Ya, so when I was wanting to talk to you, you were not listening and just walked away! Went to the restroom! and I wanted to talk to you, so as I had judged your behavior till then, I had to make it happen! so I came inside the restroom & btw what were you thinking! You think, you going to the women's washroom would have stopped me! That was very stupid! ( And he started laughing!) anyway so in there whenever I hit you or acted rough with you, it was a mix of me wanting u to do it and making you do it and u had disappointed me so the anger was also there!! I never disrespected you, it was between us, I wasn’t calling u bad names or hitting you in front of anybody, that’s all I wanted to tell you!
Ok, heard! I accept that u might have real feelings for me
I never said that!
Ohh ( It was damn awkward!)
Yes! I never said it! But you understood my feelings for the first time!! ( he was smiling ears to ears)
But nothing was gonna melt me now, so I told him
Whatever but hitting will not ever be accepted or forgiven by me in my life! So don’t even try…forget it, I will be good friend to you but don’t expect me to forgive you ever!
Surprisingly he looked disappointed but not angry this time…so to make the moment lighter, I playfully said
Mera breezer khatam ho gaya, aur 5 min mein aa jaayega ghar, aur ek hai? Ya ek hi laaya? Kanjoos
He had a mild smile on his face but he the disappointed look was still there, and he went for his bag and pulled out another and opened with his teeth and gave to me, that opening the bottle with teeth part was so new and kind of impressive to me … I had always seen my dad opening with an opener…but I didn’t let him know about it, my house was very close and just to make the moment lighter I had asked for the breezer but I was not gonna have it so I had one sip and offered him the same bottle, his disappointment was all gone and he had this weird smirk on his face and took the bottle and had a sip and again gave it back to me…as we reached our building, I told him
get down first and let me go inside by the cab, I don’t want my dad to see me coming in with a boy
Ok, should I get down here?
Yes yes
Ok then quickly have a sip and give me the bottle back, cause you will have trouble hiding it later
No no let it be, you take it! I don’t want..
Please Namrata, have just one small sip, please just listen to me one last time, I am asking you to do this for me please
Arree! Ok ok ( I had a smallest sip I could have and gave it to him)
Waahhhh! Thank youuu! ( he looked soo happy)
What happened Abdul! Why r u acting like this now?
Nothing, nothing, u go, I am getting down
Aree! Tell me baba!
Aree trust me you wouldn’t like it…but still, it mite sound kiddish to you but it does hold immense importance to me…basically we kissed finally!
Ohhh god!!! That really did make me blush…I just didn’t know what yo say….but I had to get down so I told him
Bye, Abdul see you
One thing I want to tell you quickly!
What?
I am in love with you Namrata
( woaawhhh, that was damn weird, I didn't have time for a long talk so I chose to be very loud and clear) That could have been flattering in two situations, if u didn’t have a girlfriend and if u hadn't hit me today!
I am sorry for hitting you but I can correct the other thing immediately which you said..
Which? Gf?
Ya
I m not getting you, anyway, please get down now, or I will get down, my dad will call me any minute!
Ok ok, ( he opened the door and while getting out) he said, I am gonna break up with Preeti tomorrow and gonna tell her that I am in love with you
WTF! PLEASE DON’T!!!!
I will do it, doesn’t matter if u love me or not but I cant be with somebody when I am in love with someone else…
WTF ABDUL!!! THIS IS CRAZY! Please don’t do anything like this, now please go and we will talk about It over the phone tomorrow, till then please don’t talk to her, I beg of you!
Ok ok, don’t panic, I wont, good night, take care
Hmmm, bye
He got down and I told the cab driver to take the cab inside the gate….after reaching home thankfully dad didn’t ask me lot many questions, I went to my room, took a cold water bath, while taking bath, the areas where I was hit by Abdul were burning slightly, that refreshed that horrific episode took place in the evening, what I went through......was applying the body wash on my body then I got surprised to find out that nipples were erected!! I thought to myself, "was it because of the thoughts running in my head of the restroom episode with Abdul? Someone first time had touched them, fondled them & he didn’t handle them roughly that I know.....the fact that I had loved his touch, I had wanted him to reach for them and cuddle them & his touch was magical to me.......NO!! Cant be! No no no, it must be because of cold water, forget it Namrata what all you are thinking ! He hit you, it was him who used you but no, the explanation that he gave you for his behavior was also sweet and he apologized for hitting me too....anyway, forget it lets sleep"
Got out of the shower and I got into my crop top and my shorts and hit the bed.....i started thinking about what Abdul told me and how different person he had become while coming back, then I remembered, that he also told me that he will speak to Pretti and tell her that he likes me and wants to break up with her! Shit! I don’t want Preeti to think that I snatched her boyfriend from her! I don’t want her to think of me as a bitch and its wrong forget what she would even think! It was against my values!!... I must tell him to forget all this and be happy in his life, I have told him already that we will discuss this, tomorrow when he calls, I will tell him!! But after some time I got an idea, "tomorrow, what if I switch of my mobile only and don’t get out of home, gharpe I will tell that I am feeling sick! If we don’t discuss then he wont be able to know my view and he will also not know if I am in it with him or no! He might not talk to Preeti and wait for our discussion to happen, maybe day after tomorrow he will let this thought go as I would be already avoiding him, so he wont think the same about me!" And I quickly switched off my mobile!... It felt very relaxed that I have sorted all my problems! I can now peacefully sleep without worrying about anything..
• Are you crying Namrata?
• No no ( while trying to hold back my tears, with a heavy voice)
• Namrata what happened?
• Nothing ree! ( in a very irritating manner I told him)
• Ok I won't ask you but if u feel like talking, let me know, I will be all ears..
• Ya, ok
And again there was silence, I kept looking out, blaming my fate to be fallen in such situation, I did acted foolish and I started a silently crying again. Saad must have heard me crying again, this time he didn't directly asked me, but he said
• I know that Abdul only must have done something, it's there in his character to use gullible girls like u
• ( my tone only changed and very aggressively I told him) I am not gullible! I am very smart! Don't call me that ever again!
• Smart girls don't go out with boys like Abdul and that means he's only responsible behind your tears
• Boss! If I wasn't smart I would have stayed with him! I walked out! Didn't I! I was well in my senses and I got my self out! ( I lied again), I came here with him not cause I liked him! I came because of the situation!
• If you could have controlled the situation tab then you wouldn't have been in this situation!
• What are you trying to do?? Huh? What's ur point?
• I am just consoling you.
• You don't sound like one! You are trying to make feel even more bad now!
• I am not, I am just making sure that you have realized the mistake of trusting Abdul
• You don't have to make sure anything! And the fact that I am crying is because I know I have done a mistake! So keep quiet for sometime or let me get down here and I will get a cab!
• Ok ok, I am sorry, I will keep quiet, maybe my way was wrong but I ...anyway leave it
• YA
Just then my phone rang, it was almost 11 so I thought my dad must have reached home so I tried searching for my phone in the bag
, I found it and to my horror it wasn't my dad! It was Abdul! I let it ring and disconnect and kept it back in my bag, I started thinking to myself " Why could he be calling me now!" And the phone rang again and I did the same didn't pick up, Saad was noticing all this, but thank god he didn't say anything this time, I would have given him back and how and would have got down! Now I am not gonna be controlled or not gonna take anybody's favor and be in their obligation, I had decided! I will do what I want to!
After some time my phone beeped, I got scared again, it could be my dad or Abdul, in both situations I am gonna be in trouble, but at the same time I thought if it's my dad, it's ok, but if it's from Abdul, I will fuck his case this time! And it was from Abdul only, fuck! I was so mad just seeing his name there in the notification, with lot of anger I clicked on it to see whats written and there everything went wrong again, I like a dumb forgot that he will be able to see me "Online"!
Abdul: tu saali Saad ke saath gayi na! Saali dekha uske car mein maine tujhe
I did not know what to write, I just read and kept it back. It beeped again and again it was Abdul. This time I didn't check, I just read the preview of it from the notification panel, I didn't want to show him that I was reading. It read,
Abdul: tujhe kya lagta hoon chutya hoon! Tujhe bola tha na usse mat baat kar! Saali tune uske saath plan bana liya! Ab dekh bhenchod mein kya karta hoon.....
Again one more came,
Abdul: saala kutta! Uski toh jindagi nark bana dunga!
Now I started thinking kiski? I kept thinking then 3rd!
Abdul: woh Saad bahot shanna bann raha tha na, mere saamne tere saath flirt kar raha tha, kal subhe uske ghar jaake usko maarunga!
Abdul: tune abhi mujhe call nahi na kiya toh dekh mein tujhe toh kuch nahi karunga, par yeh Saad ko toh maar daalunga! Abhi ke abhi call kar!
Fuck! Now I have put this person also in trouble! It wasn't Saad's fault that he was driving me back home ulta he was doing a favor on me! and then I realised how I was treating him all this time, but now what to do! I don't want to call Abdul just cause he was terrorizing me! That would fuel his guts! I was not gonna do that at all! Just then one more msg came
Abdul: call now! I am also coming there by friends car and if I catch you guys midway na, I will break all his bones and put him along with his car in a valley! And people...
This time i opened his chat and the msg was
Abdul: call now! I am also coming there by friends car and if i catch you guys midway na, I will break all his bones and put him along with his car in a valley! And people have seen you leaving with him, toh sochle!
"Fuck yaar! What have got myself stuck into" I thought to myself, first of all toh I didn't want Saad to go through any trouble because of me so I decided to get down from his car, now how to tell him that, I messaged Abdul back
Me: ok, give me 2 mins
I looked out and I could see that we were touching the city and it wasn't that secluded....then looked at Saad and told him
- Listen Saad I will have to get down here, thanks for all your help, but I won't be going home tonight and I will be staying at my friend's house tonight, so can you please drop me here?
- Here?
- Not here, but little ahead, near that pink building
- Ohh ok, so anybody is coming to pick u down?
- No no
- Why! Then I will walk u till the door!
- Saad, please no, my friends house is on the ground floor only, I will go, maybe I will call you when I reach home or drop u a msg.
- Ok then, if that's what u want then its ok.
We reached near the building I showed him, I wish I could explain him about my rude behavior, but he really didn't do any wrong thing ever while we were together so that gave me a lot of respect for him, I said thank you and he went away, I tried to stop him if he can give me his number so I can tell him but he didn't wait, maybe he got an idea that I was lying....at that time only my mobile started ringing, it was my dad, dad asked
• Beta kahan ho?
• Mein pohoch hi rahi hoon dad, sirf 15 mins do, jara late ho gaya
• Haan haan beta late toh ho gaya, par come jaldi now!
• Haan dad
• I will be awake haan, come fast
• Yeah dad, bye dad
After that I called Abdul..
• Haan Abdul, bol! ( very furiously I asked him)
• Kya bol be! ( his tone was the same!) kahan hai? Aa hi raha hoon mein piche!
• I have reached home! What do you want? I said I will call you and I did, I don't care what u do to Saad, he's nobody to me, I just called cause I wanted to end this nonsense!
• Ohhhh you have reached home! ( he sounded little happy, which was a surprise to me!)
• Yes ( I was still being stern)
• Ohhho!! All this time I was worried about you, what Saad will do and all, but good if you have reached home then its fine! Super in fact! Sorry for today, take care, byee sweetheart! Goodnight!
He didn't even wait for me to say bye and kept the phone! But I was immensely surprise by this new development! Till now he was all acting rowdy and all of a sudden he says he was only worried about Saad not doing anything to me and me reaching home safely! That came as a shock to me and it was very very weird!!! Very! "Let it be! I have to get a cab now" i thought to myself, stood there waiting for a cab and 4 years back I didn't have any idea about App taxi services, so I stood there waiting for good 15-20 mins and this thought was constantly revolving around my head that how a person can act so differently in matter of seconds! "bhaad mein gaya woh Namrata, tu can dekh!", but there was no cab visible and it was almost 15 mins passed since dad had called me, I had told him that I will reach in 15, I was very worried thinking about that, what if dad calls me again, what am I supposed to tell him, basically my mind was filled up with all the question, very little of them were about Abdul but most of them were about me reaching home in time and questioning of dad!
I was very desperate to reach home at that time!! You guys have no idea! Don't judge me but at that time I had no option but to call Abdul and ask him if he can come pick me up, it was gonna be little odd, but still after his last conversation I could at least think of that as and option.....and because of him only I was in this situation again! so I called him after much dilemma, his phone started ringing but he wasn't picking up and just when I thought it was a bad idea and about to disconnect the call, I could see the timer started, so I knew he picked up and I put the phone back on my ear
• Hi Abdul
• kya hua jaan? Meri yaad aa rahi thi?
• Yaad nahi par, I thought maybe u can help me
• Doing what?
• Actually I lied to you, I never reached home...I had got down from Saad's car cause you were acting difficult and forcing me to call you, so I got down so we can talk....
There was a big silence, he didn't say anything, I kept doing, hello....hello! Then he talked
• Ohhh toh jhoot bola tune!
• Jhoot nahi, par haan
• Chalo koi nahi, mujhe jara bhi accha nahi lagta jo mujhse jhoot bolta hai
• Hmmmmm, anyway u let it be, I will manage, don't start with you I don't like this and that, chalo bye!
• Areee namrata rukh! Tu ek kaam kar, jara piche chalke aa!
• Piche kyon? Firse club nahi jaana mujhe, ghar jaana hai!
• Areee ek last baat maanle darling!
• I am not gonna listen to your any demands or suggestions now!
• Ohhhhooo!
• Ohhooo wohooo apne paas rakh, chod tu jaane de, mein dekh lungi
• Ok ok ok, rukh aata hoon
• Mat aa!
• Tohh! Abhi nakhre mat kar, aa raha hoon, 1 min ke andar!
• Faaltu ki baatein mat kar, 1 min mein kaise aayega
• Are tu dekh na! Anything and everything for you meri jaan
• Hmm, chal see you then, come fast
Saying this I kept the phone, it was out of my thinking power that how can a person change so much!?? Anyway I at least did had a hope of reaching home in next 15-20 mins, if dad calls I will tell him that I was stuck in traffic, so the problem sort of solved...phewww....and! Just then I realised that this bastard Abdul had told me that he was following us and I didn't even see a single car going from the road after I got down.....bastard could he be there somewhere or did I miss any car?? And at that exact moment, I could see a car's lights turning on and flashing! It was a cab, It started moving towards me and stopped next to me and no wonder it was Abdul! But since it had started moving I was just hoping that it was Abdul and not anybody else, so I won't lie but I was relived to see him! I couldn't stop smiling cause I was relived! But he did see me there standing and he didn't help me, that thought was also there in me, but at that moment, my problems were solved, I thought to myself, I sat in the cab and we headed for our home....
As soon as I got in the car, I asked Abdul
Why didn't you tell me earlier that you were just here! I could have saved 15-20 mins by now! You enjoyed seeing me waiting alone in the dark or what
Yes
What do u mean? Sick you are!
Whatever makes u feel satisfied, I will say that, cause I am really feeling sorry for what happened today, it shouldn't have happened! I know...
Hmmm...u can't force anybody in life! To do anything!
Did I force you Namrata? Were u not willingly doing it?
Are you kidding me? I wasn't! I was only doing it so that u won't hit me! Why r u so weird? Why are you acting so nicely with me for last 30 mins, so different than what u were in that club, I am not understanding! I just don't know & I want to know but its ok if u don't want to tell
I don't want to tell
Ok then, don't tell!! Fuck off!
He smiled and kept quiet and after all the experience I had with him it was really odd but I didn't want to ask him cause I knew it could be some of his trick, for 5 mins I kept staring outside the car window, couldn't believe that I am with the same guy who humiliated and was so rough with me but one thing was still bothering me that he kept me waiting there alone when he was seeing me standing there helplessly....why was he even there? He definitely didn't care about keeping me away from harm cause he was just harming me few minutes back! I just couldn't control myself anymore and I asked him with a stern tone
U have to tell me why u kept me waiting there outside on the road when, u were seeing me struggling!
He just laughed loudly when I asked him this and said
Namrata tu bahot cute hai
I was in no mood to hear any compliments or bullshit from him so I said
Are woh sab bhaad mein gaya, bata why you did not come to pick me up when u saw me struggling? What sick joy you were getting out of it?
Tell me one thing Namrata, why did u come from there alone?
What do u expect? U were hitting me and that lady saw us and she went out saying she will complain about us, I was scared to be there and to be with you also so I did what I felt was right thing to do!
Why couldn't u tell me to take u home? Why did u choose Saad?
I didn't choose Saad! I came running out and I saw Saad getting in his car so I asked him and he said yes
Immediately after saying this I realised, I am giving him explanation again! I was the one who asked a question, not him! And even if he asks I shouldn’t be answerable to him! ( now I am realising that he might have got a hint that I am again getting in his control slowly) and at that time only he told the cab driver to stop for a second! I got too impatient and asked him,
Why have you stopped the cab?? I need to be at home in next 10 mins! Tell him to start driving!!
I started telling the cab driver to start driving but he didn’t listen to me, Abdul was reaching to his bag and removing something and said
Whats the hurry baby? We are only 5 mins away from our building! You just waited there for 10 mins, I just told him stop for 2 mins
Just stop asking me counter questions! I asked why did u just kept me waiting??
I am sorry that I kept you waiting, I didn't know that you were dying to meet me
Whatever, this wont work! Don’t try to act smart, answer my question!
The answer is not so straight baby…please listen and talk in between, please have this ( he tried to hand me a bottle of breezer!, and said) I am sorry I didn't let you have breezer then and you couldn’t even have whiskey so I was feeling guilty that because of that incident you couldn’t even enjoy so I brought this for you
This was the time when I felt like I am in control! That feeling was so great, I am again feeling confident and like I have control over my life, this was what he had snatched from me and the feeling that I made such an impossible character into such a decent person that he is now, was a big victory for me! For my ego! For my self confidence! With this feeling I told him
Listen! Stop with your nonsense and tell me why?? This breezer you couldn’t give me when I wanted so whats the point!!
Phhhh....( he took a long breath before saying) listen, ok, my behavior with you was bad, I agree, I accept, ( I tried saying and he stopped me), please don’t say anything, please, let me complete, I would justify myself and if you don’t agree then please let me know when I complete talking, yaa?
Yaa, ok..
So.. Listen, when we went there, I thought you really did like me and that’s why you came with me and I , I don’t know what to say, I don’t want to scare you off but, I really liked you more than we like a friend & all those moments we had in the car made me feel that you also like me the same way I like you and u trust me, you said that din you?
I did, but.. ( and he said)
Don’t say anything, just nod your head when I ask you question, in yes or no, ok?
I did how he instructed and just nodded my head indicating, I understood ..he said
Good girl! Now first of all! Have a breezer, tune nahi piya toh even I didn’t drink! I wanted to enjoy with you so I also came out of the party!
I don’t want to now, when I wanted to you din let me ( I was enjoying the hold I had in the situation!)
Ok, but can you please at least hold? Please?
I took the bottle from him and he opened it with his teeth only! First time I saw somebody opening the bottle with their teeth then, I didn’t use to drink then so much...so that was something new! We both did cheers and had one-one sip, he had a smirk on his face, but I don’t feel this time he was planning something, so I din give it that much importance, this time I had the hold of the situation and I wasn’t gonna lose it......or melt….or get manipulated…he again started tell
Now listen I really like you and I can tell you that I like you more than I like Preeti! When I saw you talking and giggling with Saad I got really jealous and I told Sadia about it, I wanted to make u feel jealous too! So she helped me in doing that, I wanted you to come to me and take me away from Sadia, now u must be thinking why I couldn’t come to you and took u away from Saad but I didn’t want you to control you, I never wanted to! You know what I was telling Sadia? "yaar Namrata who Saad se baat kar rahi hai aur mujhe usse nahi rokhna hai kuch bhi karne se, par mujhe yeh bhi chahiye who mere paas aajaye" then she told me that the best way you can make a girl come running to you is to make her feel jealous! I tried that also but you were still busy with him! It did hurt me a lot! I had to call u! I had to do SOMETHING THAT I DIDN’T want to do, MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING, I did call you and you came running, jealousy factor didn’t work with you…
so I understood that I will have to tell you if I want something from you and that became my perception, later when I tried to kiss you, u denied and ran away, that made me feel humiliated and very very hurt….and I met Karana inside, she asked me what was wrong and I told her how much I like you and value your presence in my life, she kept telling me that its ok, maybe she doesn’t like you…I also thought to myself that if she doesn’t like me then its ok and I prayed to god that keep her safe and I wished good for you for your life, just then I saw you entering and I told her the same thing that I wanted to make Namrata jealous so can she please act a little? She said yes, I can see how much you are in to her, so I will do anything that will help you to win her! I was waiting for you to come closer and then I hugged Karana only cause u could see….but my that plan also didn’t work, you came and we started fighting! I was furious and disappointed at the same time cause all my efforts of, forget winning you but just to get attention, were going wrong! As we were fighting, I realised what I had realised few mins back! I have to let you know what I want and you would do it, so I took you to washroom cause I wanted to be really close to you!
I was listening all this while, didn’t say a single word, but this time I had to raise a point! I said
Boss! Even when you were taking me to the washroom, you were not at all good to me, you were dragging me almost! You hit me! You cursed me so badly, and btw you didn’t hit me once or twice! You kept hitting me every minute that I was with you, I was feeling so stuck and humiliated, you said you felt humiliated, I cant even imagine what I went thru!!
Aree! I didn’t complete talking and you had promised that you wont talk till the time I finished! Now with you also it happened na, that you said something but cause of the change of situation, you had to break your promise and do something that you want!
Hmmm, I don’t know
You don’t know or you don’t want to listen?? Anyway forget it! Now at least this time would you let me complete and not talk in between??
Hmm
What hmmmm? I want you to say yes or no!
What do u mean by YOU want?? Huh?
Cause I know you Namrata, you would do if I tell you what I want, than waiting for you to do what I want
Hmmm
Areee! What hmmmm!?
Haan thik hai Abdul! I got you and hmmm means I understand!! God!
Good girl! ok so where was I? Aummmm, ya just before we got in to the restroom and we got lost in each other's inner beauty na?
Haan re!
Immediately after saying that I realized I agreed to whatever that he was saying about getting lost in each other's inner beauty and shit....frankly, I was, after that initial fight and struggle in the restroom I was even ready for anything, I wouldn’t have stopped him from doing anything, I was all his! I had considered myself as his slave almost! But why would I agree to it! And I said quickly!
Haan, just before we got into restroom, that’s all!
He smiled and said
Ok ok, so listen, I took you to washroom and I can tell you or try to explain you why I was being so pushy and so rude.....I was upset with you Namrata! I was so upset with you that you were not even trying to understand even after me telling you once that why I was getting close to Sadia! I thought and I expected you to come to me and know why was I doing it! you didn't take any effort to make things alright!
I was gonna Abdul ( this time I lost my anger a lil, but Immediately got back) , anyway chod, you tell.
Ya, so when I was wanting to talk to you, you were not listening and just walked away! Went to the restroom! and I wanted to talk to you, so as I had judged your behavior till then, I had to make it happen! so I came inside the restroom & btw what were you thinking! You think, you going to the women's washroom would have stopped me! That was very stupid! ( And he started laughing!) anyway so in there whenever I hit you or acted rough with you, it was a mix of me wanting u to do it and making you do it and u had disappointed me so the anger was also there!! I never disrespected you, it was between us, I wasn’t calling u bad names or hitting you in front of anybody, that’s all I wanted to tell you!
Ok, heard! I accept that u might have real feelings for me
I never said that!
Ohh ( It was damn awkward!)
Yes! I never said it! But you understood my feelings for the first time!! ( he was smiling ears to ears)
But nothing was gonna melt me now, so I told him
Whatever but hitting will not ever be accepted or forgiven by me in my life! So don’t even try…forget it, I will be good friend to you but don’t expect me to forgive you ever!
Surprisingly he looked disappointed but not angry this time…so to make the moment lighter, I playfully said
Mera breezer khatam ho gaya, aur 5 min mein aa jaayega ghar, aur ek hai? Ya ek hi laaya? Kanjoos
He had a mild smile on his face but he the disappointed look was still there, and he went for his bag and pulled out another and opened with his teeth and gave to me, that opening the bottle with teeth part was so new and kind of impressive to me … I had always seen my dad opening with an opener…but I didn’t let him know about it, my house was very close and just to make the moment lighter I had asked for the breezer but I was not gonna have it so I had one sip and offered him the same bottle, his disappointment was all gone and he had this weird smirk on his face and took the bottle and had a sip and again gave it back to me…as we reached our building, I told him
get down first and let me go inside by the cab, I don’t want my dad to see me coming in with a boy
Ok, should I get down here?
Yes yes
Ok then quickly have a sip and give me the bottle back, cause you will have trouble hiding it later
No no let it be, you take it! I don’t want..
Please Namrata, have just one small sip, please just listen to me one last time, I am asking you to do this for me please
Arree! Ok ok ( I had a smallest sip I could have and gave it to him)
Waahhhh! Thank youuu! ( he looked soo happy)
What happened Abdul! Why r u acting like this now?
Nothing, nothing, u go, I am getting down
Aree! Tell me baba!
Aree trust me you wouldn’t like it…but still, it mite sound kiddish to you but it does hold immense importance to me…basically we kissed finally!
Ohhh god!!! That really did make me blush…I just didn’t know what yo say….but I had to get down so I told him
Bye, Abdul see you
One thing I want to tell you quickly!
What?
I am in love with you Namrata
( woaawhhh, that was damn weird, I didn't have time for a long talk so I chose to be very loud and clear) That could have been flattering in two situations, if u didn’t have a girlfriend and if u hadn't hit me today!
I am sorry for hitting you but I can correct the other thing immediately which you said..
Which? Gf?
Ya
I m not getting you, anyway, please get down now, or I will get down, my dad will call me any minute!
Ok ok, ( he opened the door and while getting out) he said, I am gonna break up with Preeti tomorrow and gonna tell her that I am in love with you
WTF! PLEASE DON’T!!!!
I will do it, doesn’t matter if u love me or not but I cant be with somebody when I am in love with someone else…
WTF ABDUL!!! THIS IS CRAZY! Please don’t do anything like this, now please go and we will talk about It over the phone tomorrow, till then please don’t talk to her, I beg of you!
Ok ok, don’t panic, I wont, good night, take care
Hmmm, bye
He got down and I told the cab driver to take the cab inside the gate….after reaching home thankfully dad didn’t ask me lot many questions, I went to my room, took a cold water bath, while taking bath, the areas where I was hit by Abdul were burning slightly, that refreshed that horrific episode took place in the evening, what I went through......was applying the body wash on my body then I got surprised to find out that nipples were erected!! I thought to myself, "was it because of the thoughts running in my head of the restroom episode with Abdul? Someone first time had touched them, fondled them & he didn’t handle them roughly that I know.....the fact that I had loved his touch, I had wanted him to reach for them and cuddle them & his touch was magical to me.......NO!! Cant be! No no no, it must be because of cold water, forget it Namrata what all you are thinking ! He hit you, it was him who used you but no, the explanation that he gave you for his behavior was also sweet and he apologized for hitting me too....anyway, forget it lets sleep"
Got out of the shower and I got into my crop top and my shorts and hit the bed.....i started thinking about what Abdul told me and how different person he had become while coming back, then I remembered, that he also told me that he will speak to Pretti and tell her that he likes me and wants to break up with her! Shit! I don’t want Preeti to think that I snatched her boyfriend from her! I don’t want her to think of me as a bitch and its wrong forget what she would even think! It was against my values!!... I must tell him to forget all this and be happy in his life, I have told him already that we will discuss this, tomorrow when he calls, I will tell him!! But after some time I got an idea, "tomorrow, what if I switch of my mobile only and don’t get out of home, gharpe I will tell that I am feeling sick! If we don’t discuss then he wont be able to know my view and he will also not know if I am in it with him or no! He might not talk to Preeti and wait for our discussion to happen, maybe day after tomorrow he will let this thought go as I would be already avoiding him, so he wont think the same about me!" And I quickly switched off my mobile!... It felt very relaxed that I have sorted all my problems! I can now peacefully sleep without worrying about anything..
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